#mnpd

Just ask. Just say the thing all the way. Make it a question. Make it a complete sentence and thought, not a fucking riddle.

Do it without bringing in shit that has nothing to do with the subject. Ask without insulting me or anybody else.

And when you're done, don't follow it up with "did i ask that question the right way?"

I’ve complained about it here before but if you missed it, it’s a thing he does.

And up until very recently it was apparently a fun game for him. We’ve tried to get him to stop over the years because it’s caused TONS of issues.

Two of his friends contacted us separately on two different occasions (they didn’t do it together) to try to get us to stop abusing him.

Another friend (who is on a fixed income and almost blind) sent him a care package of shirts and underwear IN HIS SIZE and the brand he likes when he told said friend that we refused to do his laundry -- we didn’t, my mom had just had a seizure and was down for 2 days.

I’ve actually worried that he’s going to get us in trouble with an adult protection agency because of the things he says.

Anyway he came to me and my mom today and asked how he could change his relationship with his best friend who lives in another state because “he’s hurting my feelings.”

When we got to the bottom of it, it’s because his buddy is a very negative person, and every time he talks to him he’s telling my dad he’s gotta get away from us because we’re horrible.

But that’s not what my dad wants to do because my dad KNOWS he’s got it good here.

He does almost NOTHING (literally taking out the garbage once a week is the only thing he does here) and we take care of everything and he gets a hot meal every day and anything else he asks for.

We do actually take him out and even encourage him to get out more and even gently pushed him into working on a motor again after years of self-imposed “I can’t do anything” attitude and he’s loving it.

But he actually said the words “well now it’s affecting me and I don’t like it anymore -- he hurt my feelings”

Sooooo it’s suddenly not fun anymore and so NOW he wants it to stop.

It didn’t matter when it was hurting everybody else. Nah, it’s fun and he doesn’t wanna stop. Oh but now that HE’S feeling a little something he doesn’t like, he wants to cut off all ties with his friend just to get it to stop.

Even though he’s fed on this attention from all his friends and his side of the family for DECADES.

I know he’s got the whole malignant narcissistic personality disorder thing going, and I’m learning better how to deal with it, but sometimes it still REALLY impresses me sometimes how horrible these people are.

And he’ll admit it right to your face like it’s not a horrible thing and then wait for us to feel bad for him and tell him how to fix it.

I left the room and let my mom deal with it. I don’t have the time to deal with it and I certainly don’t have any compassion left in me in regards to him.

It worked better than anything else I've tried and I feel as good as I can about the interaction.

MNPD thrive off attention - negative or positive - so the best thing to do is give them the very least amount of attention you can.

I was doing something when he tried to interrupt me (MNPD will purposely ALWAYS catch you when you're busy).

I kept my eyes on what I was doing, showed no emotion whatsoever, took a while responding, and when he did his stupid too low talking because he wants me to feel stupid and need clarification, I made him wait while I did more of what I was doing and finally said "oh did you say something?"

He spoke up clearly, asked a real question, didn't insult me or make stupid comments, and patiently waited for my response. 😱

When I finally responded to the question, he shut up and left the room! That's always the goal is for him to leave as quickly as possible and he has NEVER left so soon like that 🥳

I didn't feel manipulated after he left and I didn't have the burning anger either. I consider that a big win!

MNPD want all their stuff to matter to you (even though nothing of yours matters to them so if you're dismissive or focusing on something else, they don't get their fix.

Every interaction with them is a game on their end, and I've fought playing games back for years (because playing games with people is sick) but it's necessary with MNPD so recently I decided okay I'll play if it means I get as little interaction as possible and I don't feel like shit every time.

I doubt this would have worked a few years ago before he was on medication and before he was actually scared of me and weak physically himself but it works now and I'm really excited!!