#mmpersonal

For the whole extent of my life, I’ve been pretty content with who I am as a person. 

But up until about 2 years ago, everything in my life came crashing down at once and I’ve been rebuilding ever since. Throughout the rebuilding, I would say the environment has been less than ideal. I’ve been fucked off and over by many people close to me, and I’ve had nearly nothing to my name but my box of tools. Maybe someone is wondering, “two years and you have shit to show for it? sounds like someone needs to get off their ass”.

Well. I’ve started two business in the last year. TWO. Got fucked out of the first one, and will be closing up on a year of business on the current shop! The first year of business isn’t necessarily the most profitable, if profitable at all. I can’t wait until life stops reality checking me. Even the ups that I’ve made recently I feel like I really forced it into happening. Like, fuck. The shop door broke this week and we had to drop money from our Super Secret Stash (is what I call it aka motorcycle funds) to fix the fuckin’ thing. 

I think my recent life ventures have really hardened me in a not so good way. I am angry so much inside. Angry at other people for being so fucking shitty, and angry at myself for even letting shit fucking get to me. 

it seems that today was a pretty productive one. stretched and worked out this morning. spent the better first half of the day calculating and writing out my federal tax return and forms. got it down to only owing a couple hundred bucks! shout out to the first time doing taxes as a self-employed moto shop owner!  eric stopped by today to take a look at the klr. he couldn’t find think of anything else either. which i knew we pretty much covered all bases but it’s nice to get a third party eyeball on things sometimes. we are going to try a new harness. took eric out to chevy’s for lunch for taking his time to check out the klr. love me some fajita mixed grill, booiiii. got leah’s bike out today. got a bike in today. ray did us a great favor and ordered some tires, a stand, and a hat to meet our minimum and open our wps account. thanks, ray. <3  decided to try a little reverse approach with ikillez. instead of telling him “no” or correcting him when he growls at newcomers, i turned touching people peacefully into a trick. i used the command “gosayhi” and put his treat right next to ray’s hand and when he touches ray, i click him and give him a treat. i got him to the point where i would say “gosayhi” and he would go up to ray and touch his nose to him. ...progress. he’s such a smart fuckin’ boy.

i introduced corey into the realm of impractical jokers. we laughed for a good hour and a half watching impractical jokers and whose line is it anyways skits.

fingers crossed that the klr will be figured out tomorrow. so tired of that thing in the shop. we have eric coming over to put an eye on it and if he can figure out why the hell this thing won’t shoot spark, we’re taking him to a nice lunch. 

i need to write more. i say that a lot lol. but i think i’m doing pretty good. 

anways i’m fucking tired so let’s get this over with.

tonight was chill. got to hang with a and t. we went to the shack and had shack burgers for the first time. didn’t realize that they were doggy friendly until we got there, should have brought the puppers. went back to their place for chills and did whip-its for the first time ever. LMAO. it was the “legal” whip-its that is  nitrous oxide (laughing gas). pretty fucking crazy. you feel very tingly, and warm, and fuzzy. your voice is low at first from the gas so it kinda trips you out and your lips feel puffy. you just want to lay back and let the sensation wash over you. and then it’s done just like that haha. little buzz remains. interesting experience.  okay so maybe tmi time but this shit is real life and something chicks have to go through in order to avoid pregnancy and practice responsible sexy time. so my baby has been trying to convince me to get an iud for the whole little over year and a half we’ve been together. i finally said i will give it a try and HOLY FUCK THAT SHIT WTF She was all “Okay, let’s get the depth of your cervix” and she takes this plastic...stick essentially and up it goes and it’s like “okay, here we go---HOLLYYY WHAT IN THE.. NOOO OKAAYY AHHH EEEE OOOOOO” and that happens about three times and bing bang boom this lady could have installed an alien lifeform in me for all i fucking know. i hot flashed so bad and just lied there in...terror? lmao and dr. said “take your time.. you’ll feel crampy for the next couple days” and i lied there for 10 minutes recovering from the small procedure. i felt sick as hell... i didn’t like it oonnnee biiitt. And that shit was honestly a little traumatic. I think about it still and shudder haha. Guess I’m just being a baby... ...at least I won’t be having oneeee aayyeeee lmao anyways. last time i used my camera it was throwing a fit. i had it on continuous shooting mode and it would freeze in the middle of shooting and not capture the shots. turned it on yesterday to verify it still had an issue before bringing it with me to go to the camera store and it works perfectly. so i’m running with it. i know i say this all the time, and i say a lot of things all the time but i really want to get back into my photos. i have a friend ry that has the lens i have my eye on. i think it only about $150. Along with my 24-135mm i think it will be perfect. 

got some tools stuff today so that is always exciting. decided to try out the husky 3/8 with the button on the back. haven’t really had an excuse to use it yet though so i’ll update on that later. previously i have been using a harbor friend rubber handle ratchet. it’s been great and it has a pretty high teeth count but the head is starting to feel a little sloppy and i’ve only been using it for a little over half a year. 

maybe it’s all the weed i’m smoking. maybe it’s because i was pmsing. perhaps a combination of both. 

i think, mentally, i’m content. For the moment. Things are moving in a positive direction, and that is all I ask. 100% completed the business’ book keeping for last year. Just gotta file taxes now. Mreh. You are charged more for EVERYTHING when you are a business. Bullshit.

But money is in the bank and bills are paid. We survived March. Good job guys! lol

So remember the R6 I showed you guys that I mentioned I was trading for hair? Got an appointment set up for the beginning of May. I am soo fricken nervous. I hope I can pull off pale pink hair and don’t look like a fuckin’ idiot. Haha, here’s to new things. 

Mailed a small care package to my family today. Box of see’s candies chocolate to my bro for his tech support throughout the life of the business thus far. He hosts our server for the website, I love hiim. Misc. makeup for my mom and sis. and OMG I found a big cuban chocolate “seegar” which is SO fitting for my dad if you know him because that is what he calls cigars that he’s always smoking. 

confession. i’m high right now which is why i’m probably kinda chatty.