#mlqc asks

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Umm... I'm not sure if you're asking about if they're a couple in the main story or the dating timeline(?)

◕✧◕ If you're asking about the main story: No. In the main story they're not couples in terms of “romance”. In that regard => romance always takes the backseat in the main story. So, MC is not in a relationship with any of the guys in the main story. They're all really close friends, love in its purest form with some shades - each with their own dynamic with MC (as of S1 CH 36. The scenario becomes different in CH 37).

Although it can get confusing when you notice elements regarding a specific date being mentioned in the main story (For instance: Victor's Dance Date, Airplane Date phone call etc). However, if you follow closely you'll see those dates are from the time when they were getting to know each other. So in terms of main story: you're free to consider them as events behind the scenes or a date in it's entirety, whichever you find more comfortable!

To sum it up: Regarding S1, Victor is head over heels for MC- that doesn't leave a room for ANY question I'll be holding off the essay. I shouldn't be talking about MC's feelings because I don't think even if I do I'm not saying it in an ask. You can slip into my DM and we can discuss LOL PG would ever dare to project that MC cares about one guy more than the other. However I'll say this, by the time we hit the ending of S1, you can see them working together as partners throughout the most part of the story- especially the later chapters. They're ready to sacrifice themselves for the other without a second thought, AND they DO. They trust each other about.... everything. They work through everything they can, together. (and all these get emphasized to the MAX in S2.)

Few of the many notable main story moments and calls:

You can refer to this post for more: ♡

And this bonding results in a very beautiful and angsty ending for the S1 part of their journey, paving the road for an even more powerful and steady “mutual journey” of S2-- without spoiling much.

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◕✧◕ In regards to the dates: You can consider the dates as a separate timeline with nuances from the main story- since the game has already confirmed the existence of multiple timelines for S1.

In that dating timeline- YES! They've been together for around 3 years now- according the CN timeline. It's hard to estimate exactly when they got together though, since PG never gave us a proper “confession” date. But I suppose I can give you a rough idea of how their relationship progressed.

For some obvious reasons, their relationship took the longest time to hit the road among the other guys x MC - which gave their relationship a VERY steady base though.

Rooftop Date: Victor lets MC know that she has always been the ONLY one, and he will wait HOWEVER long it takes for her to see the light.

New Year's Date: MC visits Victor's parents house (because of an unfortunate event though). She gets to know more about his inner world, and starts to realize she has special feelings for him too. Victor kisses on her eyes.

Lantern Date: MC invites Victor to the lantern festival, although she isn't still very sure of her feelings. Victor once again lets her know how he has searched for her for 17 years and how his wish has finally come true.

Doomsday Date: MC tries to figure out about Victor's feelings for her and he makes the promise that he'll be with her till the end of the world. *AND HE KEEPS THAT PROMISE TILL THE VERY END SOBS*

Discovery Date: In this date we get the first hint that they've started dating. The ending of the date and it's epilogue:

Qixi Festival Date: We get the confirmation they are already dating, and MC kisses on Victor's *Adam's apple.*

Rainy Date: MC takes Victor to the Taoist Temple to pray for her fate of love and Victor once again promises to be with her *forever.*

Maze Date: They tacitly reach the conclusion that they'll always walk towards the same destination and end up with each other. No matter how rugged the path is, they'll find each other in the end and walk through it together.

Warm Winter Date: The first date where MC uses the word “love” (爱) to define her feelings for Victor. And another promise that- any amount of time or space cannot separate them.

Dazzling Date: MC takes the initiative for their very first kiss. After making sure MC really wants what she started, Victor reciprocates her action.

And thus~ the intimate part of their journey together officially hits the road!

Victor already took away your right to decide once (back then with the whole bodyguards business thing) and he couldn’t imagine taking it away when you stressed it enough how important it was for you.

Taking it away again would be so despicable and undeserving of you that if it ever came to a point where you decided to leave him, he would undoubtedly let you go no matter how much it was killing him in the process.

Thinking about it not only made his head hurt, but also made him unable to properly breathe due to the pressure mounting on his chest.

Preoccupied by the thoughts running in his head, Victor didn’t even notice when you came in his office until you spoke his name.

He snapped out of his thoughts and upon seeing you, blurted out the first thing that came to his head, “Are you leaving me?”

“Wait, what?” You asked, caught off guard by his abrupt question. “No! What? Victor, I’m not leaving you. What made you think that?”

Victor, at first, didn’t want to admit the reason why, but when you looked at him with such a worried expression like that, he went on to explain what he observed, what it meant, and the conclusions it formulated. He did all of this reluctantly, as if admitting it aloud would also be admitting a weakness.

You listened to all of his points, and once he was finished, you berated yourself for putting him in a such uncomfortable position that most likely caused the ever unbreakable and untouchable Victor to feel doubtful. It was something that almost never happened so you could imagine how discomfited he was.

“Oh, I’m sorry I made you think that way, Victor,” you said, regret coating every cadence of your voice. Then you hesitated.

You honestly didn’t know how to proceed and what to say next, afraid that what you would reveal next would cause Victor to doubt you. But you hid the truth for a very long time and that was no longer an option if the consequence would be ruining your relationship with him forever.

You sat down across him and finally decided to reveal the truth. “The reason why I’ve been so strange lately is because... I admit, it’s because of your proposal, but it’s not what you think!” You rushed out before he could form a remark. You fidgeted in your seat, finding it unable to meet his gaze, and forced yourself to proceed. “You see, back when I was in university, I had a relationship with someone. It was a serious one, the kind that led to an engagement.”

Victor’s facial expression didn’t change but inside, he was surprised and a bit cautious as he listened to what you were revealing to him. He didn’t know that you had a relationship before and he certainly didn’t know that you had gotten engaged to someone else. 

"My dad didn’t exactly approve of my relationship with him. He thought that he wasn’t good enough for me, I guess. But I loved him and wanted to stay with him. So, for the first time in my life, I disobeyed my dad and my ex and I got together. We made our relationship a secret from everyone else; no one knew aside from us. At first, it was thrilling. We were young and happy and in love, and I though that being with him was simply the best time of my life."

"But then, later, things changed. We got into more fights and arguments about our relationship and coming clean to my dad. It got worse and worse as months passed by, and for some reason, he thought that the solution was to get married-- in secret. It didn’t sit well with me, but I truly thought that I loved him that when he proposed on my graduation day, I said yes."

You paused, jaw clenching as memory after memory bombarded your mind. The memory wasn’t as painful as before, but it would still affect you somehow until to this very day. Maybe because those memories didn’t get the closure that it deserved, or maybe because you were sharing these awful memories to the love of your life and you couldn’t imagine someone having the same kind of burden you have.

“But, on the day of the wedding... he didn’t show up.”

There, you finally said it. There was absolutely no going back after this.

“He stood me up and I never knew the reason why,” you added, emotions welling up inside of you.

“The reason why I’m acting weird is because I’m scared, alright?” It was like a dam broke and all of your worries and fears poured out of you without anything to stop it or hold it back. “For a long time, I wondered why he left me. He left me without an explanation or a proper goodbye, and for a long time, I thought it was my fault. I thought that something was wrong with me and that’s why he stood me up. When he left, it absolutely broke me. And... And I can’t imagine what would happen to me if you leave me, too. He might have broken me, but I can’t even think about the devastation that I would feel if that would happened again.”

Because you loved Victor with all of your heart, with more feelings than you could possibly imagine. You never thought you would feel the same way again after what happened, but Victor made you feel that way more deeply than before. It was Victor and it would always be Victor for you.

You hang your head, ashamed at yourself and the past you tried desperately to hide, because you couldn’t admit aloud to someone else how you felt like a failure before.

But then you felt Victor’s strong arms around you, embracing you with all of his warmth, and you fell into his chest, listening to the comforting sound of his heartbeat. And everything was okay in the world because he was there and he was still holding you like you were the most precious thing he had ever held before, and there couldn’t be anything more precious than you.

“I’m sorry.” His soft breath caressed your ear as his gentle voice filled the air. “I’m sorry I made you relive those memories. It wasn’t my intention to hurt you like this, and I’m so, so sorry. Don't ever think that you're not worth it or you're not good enough, because beloeve me, you are. I want nothing more than to go back to the past and stop what happened to you because you don't deserve that. Please, stop being ashamed when you did nothing wrong. You just happened to love a wrong person and that's not your fault. You shouldn't blame yourself for the mistakes that others made, especially towards you. But, at the same time, I’m happy.”

He pulled away slightly to peer into your eyes and you knew that there was nothing more beautiful aside from the sight of his purple eyes. “I’m happy because if he showed up and you married him, I would never get to hold you like this. I would never get to love you like this and I would never be this happy without you in my life. That’s why you don’t have to be scared about me leaving you, dummy. Because, for me, even imagining a life without you is torture. I can handle losing everything I have in life and I would sacrifice everything that I do have in order to have you so don’t ever forget that.”

You grinned at him, unable to hide the relief in your eyes at his words and unable to deny the warmth that spread throughout your whole body because of his sincerity. You were no longer afraid as long as he was by your side. “That might be one of the nicest things you ever said to me,” You couldn’t help but tease him as you brought up a hand to cup his face.

He chuckled and rested his forehead against yours. “Don’t get used to it.”

“I don’t know.” You smirked cheekily. “Maybe I will once we get married.”

“Wait, what?”

ᧁꪖꪜ𝓲ꪀ

It was a fine Saturday day and you and your husband, Gavin, were in the mall, picking out furniture for your brand new house. You two had just gotten married and, just last week, had moved into a new house where you planned to spend the rest of your lives together.

Needless to say, it was a fun experience and a bit reminiscent of your furniture date years ago, back when you two were just getting reacquainted for the first time in a very long time.

That’s why you absolutely didn’t expect for this day to be the day when you finally bumped into your ex-fiancé after he had left you at the altar years before.

At first, you didn’t notice that it was him. It was such a long time ago, and those memories were buried deeply in your head that it was almost as if it never existed. So, when you two met again, it was quite a shock.

You were rendered speechless and, by the way he was staring at you, it seemed that he felt the same thing.

“MC?” He asked, disbelief coloring his tone of voice. “Wow... I can’t believe it’s you.”

“Oh,” you said, blinking out of your daze. “Oh, wow, hi. I— wow...”

This was an incredibly awkward experience. You two seemed unable to comprehend the situation in front of you, like it was a surreal moment that even the wildest of your imaginations couldn’t come up with. You couldn’t say anything to him and, worse yet, you couldn’t even move your feet to walk away.

You didn’t love him anymore. Love wasn’t anywhere near close to what you felt for him now. But it was undeniable how there was so many things left unsaid between the two of you, that it created some sort of tension around you.

So, you didn’t know whether to feel thankful, relieved, or feel apprehension when Gavin showed up at that moment.

Gavin’s eyebrows rose seeing the two of you together, and after casting a suspicious look at your ex, he turned to you, ignoring the other man completely.

“Where have you been? I thought I lost you. You do know that the living room set is that way,” he said, chuckling softly as he slipped an arm over your shoulder.

You tensed for some reason before glancing at your ex watching you with your new husband. You felt the sudden need to explain, to introduce Gavin to him, to finally let go of the past that continued to taunt and mock you until Gavin came into your life and made it better. It didn’t matter if you never got closure; it mattered that you were now happy with your new life with someone else who loved you fiercely.

“Gavin?” You addressed your husband before gesturing to your ex. “Uhm, this was my ex-fiancé. And, this is Gavin, my husband.”

Gavin was unable to hide the surprise from his face when you introduced him to your ex.

Probably because you never mentioned a certain ex-fiancé to him before, you thought sheepishly. Your painful past wasn’t something that you advertised and with Gavin now a part of your life, it just seemed so irrelevant compared to what you have now with Gavin.

Gavin immediately covered his surprise with a neutral expression as he shook hands with your ex.

“So, you’re already married. Wow,” said your ex in disbelief. He opened his mouth to say something but then hesitated a moment, before he tried again. “Uhm, I hope you two have a happy life together. Best of luck to the both of you.”

Before you could say about anything else, your ex turned on his heel and left, his shoulders slumped and his steps long but slow. You and Gavin watched him walk away and you couldn’t help but feel sort of sorry for him, although you didn’t know why.

You didn’t know what kind of life he led after he left you. You didn’t even know if he regretted what he did. But it happened; and that was something that wouldn’t change. It was painful, of course, but you learned from the pain and in result, you came out stronger and happier than ever.

“So, care to tell me what happened with him?” Gavin’s question broke you out of your thoughts. He sounded a bit too casual for your liking. “I didn’t know you almost got married to someone else.”

Your lips tipped up in a small smile as you reached out a hand to his. “That was a long time ago, back before I never thought I’d meet you again. I didn’t tell you before because it wasn’t something I liked to discuss and over time, it wasn’t important enough to discuss considering what happened.”

“He was your ex-fiancé,” Gavin emphasized, like it mattered. Which, it did on some accounts. He might be a little upset about the fact that you never spoke of it or even mentioned it in passing.

“Yes, my ex-fiancé,” you said then proceeded breezily, “who left me at the altar on our wedding day.”

One second. A two. Then Gavin let out a loud, “What?!” There was fire in his golden eyes as he clenched his jaw, outraged at the treatment you received many years ago. “He... left you like that?”

You nodded your head. In contrast to him, you looked perfectly calm and rational while he looked seconds away from snapping his sanity in order to hunt your ex down. If you knew anything about Gavin, it was that he would absolutely find your ex and beat the shit out of him.

He was protective like that, but as a dutiful wife, you couldn’t let that happen. For one thing, Gavin was a cop and for another, you didn’t want to spend the rest of your married life with a husband locked behind bars.

To calm him down, you leaned closer to his side and wrapped your arms around his trim waist, knowing that your presence would soothe the blazing anger inside of him. 

And slowly, it worked. His tensed shoulders relaxed, his taut posture loosened, and he even brought a hand up to pat your head. It was sweet in a way, and almost scary knowing the kind of effect that you had on him.

“You’re sexy when you get angry,” you said, smiling to his shoulder.

“I’m always sexy,” he retorted as the both of you headed towards the living room set, with you leading him away from the direction where your ex disappeared into.

“You don’t have to be angry on my behalf,” you told him, looking up at his handsome profile. “It happened a long time ago. He was the first guy who showed interest in me and made me feel loved, in a way. Plus, my dad liked him so it just made him more attractive to me, I guess?”

“I don’t think I like the sound of you talking about someone you’re attracted with,” Gavin grumbled, frowning.

You laughed. Of course this was the time when he’d get jealous. “Obviously, I’ve moved on,” you assured him. “I guess what hurts the most isn’t the fact that he left me or that he didn’t give me a reason why, but the fact that he disappointed my dad. They were really close, almost like father and son, and when he didn’t show up, it broke my dad’s heart which made the memories more painful. But now, I’m happy with my life with you. Yes, it hurt, and I don’t think I deserved it, but all the pain that I’ve felt that time was worth it when I met you.”

He didn’t say anything. He just looked at you intently, as though he was memorizing every inch of your face. Then, he smiled. A small, barely noticeable smile, but it was a smile nonetheless and a beautiful one at that.

“It sucks to be him,” Gavin said, shrugging his shoulders nonchalantly. “I got to be with you while he’s likely regretting what he did. His loss, my gain. Funny how life works.”

Yes, funny how life works out for the better.

Gavin cleared his throat, rubbed the back of his neck, and didn't meet your eyes. "Ever wonder what your dad would think about us?"

You beamed at him. "Honestly, I have no idea what my dad would think. But I have no doubt that wherever my dad is, he's happy now knowing that I'm with someone who would never intentionally hurt me and who tries his best to show me that I'm loved every single day."

Gavin ducked his head, a smirk on his lips as a spark of happiness flashed in his amber eyes. And you two went on your way, the revelation merely a speck of dust in your lives. Inconvenient, but easily ignored.

The past never truly mattered when you two had a future to look forward to.

KIᖇO

The wife of a popular and well-loved idol was something that you were still getting used to. Even though you two are almost a year into your marriage, there were still days when you were caught off guard by how easy but passionate your relationship was with Kiro.

It didn’t matter that you still received death threats from die hard fans of Kiro or that every once in a while, an article or two would pop out to falsely claim that you and Kiro were having a divorce, or you were having an affair, and other unsavory things such as that.

The two of you were still as strong as ever. So strong in fact, that it was starting to worry you a little. You never knew when the other shoe would drop and hit your head, waking you up to a reality where everything you loved and held dear weren’t yours to begin with.

And the other shoe did drop.

The day it happened was a completely normal day for you. As usual, Kiro was busy promoting his new single while you were busy preparing a new show for your company. You were actually planning to visit Kiro that afternoon since your dear husband forgot his lunch because of how busy and preoccupied he was.

But a news spread throughout the internet while you were driving to the studio, and this news just so happen to have your name in it. You didn’t know about the news and.you especially didn't notice the way people stared at you after walking into the building where Kiro worked. You also didn’t hear your phone ringing -- all calls coming from Anna, Willow, Kiki, Savin, and Kiro -- because you put it on silent mode. You absolutely had no idea what was going on by the time you reached the studio.

When Kiro saw you though, he immediately pulled you aside to the dressing room, away from prying eyes, which immensely confused you.

“Kiro, honey? What’s wrong?” You asked, watching with a puzzled expression as he locked the door.

“Didn’t you get my messages and calls?” Kiro asked, turning to face you, looking worried for some reason.

You shook your head no. “No, I was driving. You know how I always turn my phone off when I drive. Why? What happened?”

“So, you have no idea about the article about you?” Before you could ask what he meant, Kiro pulled out his phone and showed you a news article that featured you--and the long forgotten past you all but forgot until that day.

You paused as you stared at the headline -- something about you being Kiro’s wife and almost getting married before and other things that the public should never had privy to because it was a complete invasion of privacy -- and then looked at Kiro’s face, his baby blue eyes earnest as he waited for your reaction.

“I... I can explain,” you started to say and you watched as he blinked his eyes in surprise before he dropped his arm to the side.

“So, it’s true?” He asked, eyes serious which looked so different from the playful Kiro that you fell in love with. “All of it? You were really engaged to someone else before?”

You slowly nodded your head, fear snaking its way to your spine as you waited for the inevitable explosion that was about to occur. “It happened a couple of years ago,” you told him like it could solve everything. “He was older than me for at least ten years, I think. I was young and stupid, and I was... I was immediately enamored with this person that I completely forgot who I was. I was only twenty that time and I didn’t know any better."

You bit your lower lip, preventing yourself from openly breaking down in front of your husband, as your nails dug into the skin of your palms. "I didn’t know... that he was already married to someone else, and that he had a child. I didn’t know about any of it until the day I was going to get married to him. He didn’t show up on our wedding day, but just gave me a sorry ass letter telling me the whole truth."

“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you before. I didn’t tell you -- not because I thought you didn’t deserve it -- but because it was too hard to say it aloud. I was so stupid and-- and--”

No words were needed to be said as Kiro pulled you into his arms, shushing you softly. It just broke you, being in his arms when you felt like you didn't deserve it. You trembled as your hands clenched and unclenched into fists, wanting nothing more than to wrap your arms around him. But you stopped yourself because you were afraid he would find your touch disgusting.

"Stop," he said, whispering the words to your ear so soft that you closed your eyes and dropped your forehead against his shoulder. "Stop before I start to feel angry. Well"--he sighed, his warm breath brushing against your ear--"I'm already angry to be honest, but I don't want you to think that I'm angry at you."

"You're not?" The question that slipped past your open lips was timid and meek.

"I'm not angry at you, no," he assured you while rubbing tiny circles over your back, still holding you tightly in his arms. "I'm disappointed that you didn't tell me, but I get it. That past was painful and shameful for you. I would’ve been willing to wait for you to tell me but this thing happened and I’m so sorry you’re being watchedand judged like this because of me.”

“It’s not your fault, Kiro,” you told him, brushing his blond locks at the back of his head with the tips of your fingers, finally finding the courage to touch and hold him.

"I'm just..." Kiro struggled for a moment before he eventually continued, "I’m more angry about the fact that someone hurt you before when I’m trying so hard, every single minute of every day, to make you feel beautiful and appreciated because you truly are."

At his words, there was clearly no other choice but to hold him just as he held you before. You tightened your arms around him, unable to believe your luck that after you’ve been hurt in the past, you’re now in the arms of the man who treasured you more than anything else in the world. You didn’t know what kind of good karma you managed to collect in your past lives to receive such a blessing in the form of an angel with baby blue eyes and golden blond hair. Whatever good luck it was, you resolved to make even more luck just to have him again in your next life.

He let out a sigh as he dropped a kiss on top of your head. "I don’t know," he murmured, "but I have the urge to find the man and ask why he did that to you. Maybe I might even beat him up."

You burst out a laugh. “You can’t beat people up and you don’t want to.” The last thing anyone needed right now was for someone to charge Kiro with assault.

“I do want to beat someone up now,” he said with all the seriousness of a kid. “And I can very well do that to someone, I just choose not to.”

“No fighting,” you said, shaking your head. You honestly didn’t know how you got into this topic of conversation.

“Fine,” he pouted and stared at you intently. “Are you okay?”

Your breath hitched at the intensity of his eyes and the silent promise in his voice. The kind of promise that spoke of the fact that he would do whatever it took to take care of you and love you. That voice resembled that time when he was speaking his vows to you, on your wedding day.

And you smiled, the past no longer there to burden you. Rather, it was there to open a new path of life in the hands of a man who cherished you. “I am, now,” you answered.

Later, at home, a new article spread throughout Loveland City.

“What happened with my wife before was in the past,” said Kiro in the article, addressing the issue of the damning gossip about you and your ex-fiancé. “She was young and in love then, and many people make a lot of less than ideal decisions when they’re young and in love, right? But that was the past and this is now. Trying to bring the past up now when we’re married and happy with each other is wrong; defining my wife because of what happened to her in the past is wrong; trying to ruin a perfectly great relationship is wrong. I know what happened to her before is not something that I would wish on anyone else.”

“To be honest, the issue that you’ve spread should’ve been addressed within our family by ourselves, as husband and wife, in the privacy of our home. It’s not something that you should be exploiting or gossiping about. That’s why I’m asking, not as your idol, but as a husband who loves his wife very much, to please stop the previous article from spreading. My wife is the most beautiful, kindest woman that I know, and she doesn’t deserve this. That’s all, thank you.”

But truly, the rest of the world didn’t matter, as long as Kiro looked at you just like that.

𝕷𝖚𝖈𝖎𝖊𝖓

He looked at himself in the mirror and was caught off guard at the change that the tux brought out in him. Today was his wedding day--something that he never expected to happen to him, but was made come true when you agreed to marry him when he proposed out on a whim.

So, here he was now, preparing for his wedding day, and taking a quick break to watch himself in the mirror. This moment, right here, felt so surreal for him. He often wondered if this was real, and it wasn't some kind of fantasy that his mind had conjured out of madness.

He fixed his crooked tie. It wouldn't be the first time he'd been delirious with the thought of you in his mind.

A knock on the door startled him out of his thoughts and when the door opened, he was surprised to see you standing in the doorway, wearing nothing but a thick, fluffy bathrobe. Your hair was already styled into a low chignon and your face was made up with beautiful makeup. Beautiful didn't even come close to the image you presented to his vison.

The only thing marring the image was the agitated creases across your forehead and the frown upon your coral tinted lips.

"What's wrong?" He asked, heading towards you and cupping your head with gentle, elegant hands. "Is something the matter?"

He felt your jaw clenching beneath his palms. You brought a hand up to grasp his wrist. With a hesitant voice, you said, "Can I talk to you for a second?"

Lucien held his breath before nodding his acquiescence. You led him to a white loveseat and you both sat at the same time, neither talking. For you, you were silent because you were trying your best to formulate some kind of coherent thought. For him, he was silent because he was bracing for the worst.

You breathed in a lungful of air before angling your body towards him. "The reason why I wanted to talk to you... is because I haven't been truthful to you."

His eyebrows rose in shock but he kept his mouth shut, not wanting to interrupt a rather poignant confession coming from you.

"I wanted to tell you the truth for a long time now but... but whenever I get a chance to tell you, I always get discourage and I end up not telling you in the end. But I don't want to hide the truth any longer. Now that we're getting married in a few hours, I know that I can't marry you while also lying to you at the same time. So, here I am now, finally..."

Your heart pounded hard against your chest as you began pouring out the memories and thoughts running your mind for at least a few months now. But you proceeded, even if it caused you pain as you ripped open old wounds that, to be honest, never truly healed properly.

"A long time ago, before I even met you, I got into a relationship with someone else. We were each other's first loves, and it wasn't long before he and I got engaged. I was still in university that time, so it was a long engagement where we planned to get married after graduation. And we did--plan a wedding, I mean. It was a beautiful one, too. I remembered how excited we were to get married and spend the rest of our lives together. We were just so ready to start a family that we didn't even talk or think about anything else. It just felt.. it felt so pefect, you know? Like we were on top of the world and nothing can go wrong."

Lucien felt a lump in his throat and it took everything in his power to open his mouth and ask, "What happened?"

A forlorn smile spread across your face. "Well, it turns out nothing is perfect after all and everything can go wrong in just a split second. On the day of our wedding, he... he, uh, didn't show up. I waited for him. I waited for a long time but there was no sign of him. It wasn't until a few hours later when we got a call and... and it turns out that he got into an accident." A shudder wracked through your body as your mind went back to a dark time in your life. "He was already dead by the time the wedding started and I never even knew that he was no longer with me."

This was one of the hardest thing you'd ever done but you still plowed through, knowing that you had to do this. "I thought, for a few hours while I was waiting for him at the altar, that he changed his mind, that he got cold feet and decided that he didn't want to marry me anymore. When I found out that he died, I wished that he got cold feet instead. It was better when I thought that he changed his mind, than to find out that he died when he was about to marry me. It took a long while for me to recover and it's still painful to think about it."

"That's why I didn't tell you until now because..." you gazed at him with your sorrowful eyes, you hands reaching out to hold his. "Because I don't want the same thing to happen to you. I don't want to lose you the same way I lost him."

"Oh, silly girl," Lucien breathed out softly as he brushed your cheek using the back of his hand. "To lose someone so young, it's very painful indeed." He thought of his parents and how it still pained him to this day to think about what could've been. He understood why you didn't tell him before, and why you struggle telling him now. "I wish with my entire being that you hadn't experienced that kind of suffering, but it happened and as much as I wish to change it, it can't be changed. I'm sorry that I hadn't known you were in that kind of pain."

"No, please don't say sorry. It isn't your fault. Bevause, honestly, when I'm with you, I'm happy," you told him, smiling a bit through teary eyes. "Everyday got a little easier knowing that I have you and I'm not alone anymore. Everyday I had something to look forward to aside from making shows. That's why I'm so thankful that I have you. I can't deny that it doesn't hurt because it still does. I think it will always hurt, but unlike before, it's a bearable kind of hurt now."

"I'm happy that I've made you happy," he said, grateful beyond all that he'd given you the same measure of happiness that you'd given him. "And you're right. It will always hurt but sometimes pain can be good too. It reminds you to hold on to the things that bring you peace."

He squeezed your hands gently, his eyes soft. "Just like how I hold on to you. Now, let's get married."

He never really believed that he'd be a sentimental person, but as he gazed into your eyes, speaking his vows to cherish you forever, a new vow echoed in his head.

I swear that I will take care of her just as you likely had before, he promised towards the unknown man who had loved you previously. She will never feel unloved or unwanted when she's with me. She will never have a reason to doubt me or us. As long as it's in my power, I will do whatever it takes to make her happy. She will not regret choosing me to love her.

And when you gazed at him with beaming eyes, those new vows were sealed.

ғɪɴ

No because, my demotivation doesn't really stem on a certain fandom- I'm lucky enough that my past self had anticipated that I am a hyperfixator and thus, created a blog that doesn't cage me into a single fandom. So the fandom doesn't really matter in terms of demotivation.

For me, there are good days where I write nonstop. I can write for hours and hours as long as the words flow easily from me and there's also bad days where I think writing isn't enough- and that whatever I write isn't good enough and the problem lies within me. It's just a personal issue, yanno?

Yes because, as a writer, even if I write for myself, or I write whatever I wanna read about, there's that need for validation in me that wanted to come out. That being said, even if people say that notes aren't the basis whether you're good or not, there comes a time where I just want to see whether the stuff I do is somewhat passable enough for anyone to read it. I don't blame whatever happened to the MLQC fandom- anybody would be outraged with what happened. It's just that... I think- and a dear friend of mine perfectly summed it up for me- maybe people just don't wanna read fanfics anymore.