sorry not sorry
note: MDNI, there's cursing, mentions of sex, mentions of partying, Baz needs a warning, so does Craig when he's trying to flirt
thinking of being Deran’s blabbermouth friend. most of the time, you’re flying by the seat of your pants and saying whatever comes to mind with little to no filter. you’re not dumb, but like who truly gives a fuck??
him being nervous to bring you around his family. but you’re such a good timeeeee! he wants to invite you to theCody compound for a party they’re having while his mom is off doing whatever out of town. ‘’duh, I’ll come. what’s with the apprehension? it’s cool, no?’’ and he’s trying to explain in coded language that his family is not normal. you think out loud, ‘’whose is? my uncle broke his neck tap dancing once. it’s fine!’’
he decides, sighing, “yeah. okay, fine. it’s good. chill. just please don’t fuck one of my brothers or something, because that’s been happening a lot lately for some reason.’’ you look at him incredulously before asking, “who? Craig? ew, no thanks. no offense, but your brother does nothing for me.” the few times you’ve been in his presence, you were sexually and romantically repulsed at his attempts of coming onto you. “as long as you don’t have some super hot, strong, mysterious older brother, it’s fine.” unfortunately, you are a sucker for a best friend's older brother love affair. mostly from the media you’ve consumed in your childhood and adolescence, rather than lived experience. feeding you a trope laced with forced proximity, forbidden love, and childhood friends to lovers all in one. Deran’s mind flickers over Baz, but if Craig didn’t move you, he doubts Baz would. again, you’re not dumb! he assures you of the opposite, and the thought is settled. “plus, i'm not in the headspace to meet the love of my life tonight. I need to be outside. like all summer.” you lean closer, conspiratorially, but remain at a normal volume, “don’t ruin our hot girl plans. yes, i said our.” he chuckles warmly and promises that he ‘wouldn’t dream of it’. his nerves remain, but stem from something warmer now. he’s excited for you to come.
you get there early to hang out in the late afternoon/early evening. arriving before a crowd would even fathom leaving their beaches. coming through the front gates to see…his huge house?? only getting a better look at the place when he answers the front door. “why do you stay in that dirty apartment with a place like this?” he gives you a look you can only read as ‘girl, please don’t start’. he’s leading you to the back of the house, where you quickly meet J and Nicky, who are on their way out with promises to be back for the party. Deran’s pulling a glass sliding door open for you, and closing it behind himself after crossing the barrier. you trail behind him as he leads you towards a pool. “bruh, what the fuck? you’re loaded?! why have i been buying you like… anything?” you slide up beside him to look at him sideways. he winces at the exposure of him actually having access to a lot of money yet introducing himself to you as just another Oceanside beach bum. shaking off the feeling he turns to you on his right to say, “shut up, i'm not loaded.” you let out a condescending laugh, “bullshit! no more lunches on me.” you both slow your walks, and, instead of ruminating on the property value, you finally take in the dynamic scene in front. three large men wrestling in a pool. no, they’re playing pool ball. no, that looks a little like a weird game of chicken…if you squint. what you can make out next is two of them going underwater and emerging a few seconds later. one's lip is bleeding and beginning to drip down his chest as he swims to the pool’s edge. “It’s like WWE over here.”
pulling your focus back to the body left of you, “you know Craig,” Deran says easily. Craig gives you an up-and-down look before offering a lopsided smile. he calls out your name before dragging out a heyyyyyy long enough to make you reply dully, “hi Craig. i’m still not gonna fuck you.” Craig says something that sounds like ‘can’t knock me for trying’ as the man beside him laughs snottily, wiping water from his nose. “that’s Baz,” Deran explains as Baz gives you a much more subtle lookover than Craig. the slyness of it still gives you an uneasy feeling, so all you offer is a small wave when your eyes meet. “i promise not to fuck him either,” you smile cheerily at Deran. he huffs out a chuckle and smiles back, a bit strained, “thanks.” the bloody brother, who was climbing out of the pool, now stands before you, setting a red solo cup down on the small glass table after a swig. you finally look at him.
he’s thick. built. muscles sculpted and solid. shoulders broad and biceps bulging. the swim shorts hanging from his waist conceal what you can only assume to be thighs that are equally, if not more, beefy than the rest of him. he is absolutely stacked — and staring right at you. oh! and he’s not saying anything great. pupils boring into your soul as if he knows what atoms you’re made of, just has to figure out the configuration. he’s so handsome your hands twitch at your sides as if wanting to grab onto him to steady yourself. isn’t this what you literally told Deran to warn you about? oblivious to whatever’s going on in your head, as everyone usually is, Deran finally opens his mouth to say, “and this is Pope.” you stare back for a second before composing yourself, smiling as normally as you can manage and saying, “hi. it is really nice to meet you.” he’s still staring. why is it doing something for you?
snapping your neck to set your eyes on Deran, “yeah, I am breaking that promise. sorry not sorry.” his neutral expression swipes in a flash as his eyes widen, “what?” he says it in the most concerning tone he’s ever taken with you. he glances at Pope, who is still staring at you with confusion mixed into his eyes, before looking hotly back at you. “you’re joking,” he eyes you as if seeing you for the first time, “right?” you look back at Pope unable to stop yourself from giving him the same visual inspection Craig has given you at least five times now. meeting his intense gaze once again and smiling satisfiedly to yourself, you answer Deran while keeping your eyes on his super hot, strong, mysterious older brother, “i wish i was joking. Pope, are you single?”
