“What? No, come on, Bailey J, you know how much Ofelia hated it when the wall got dented, we can’t break a door,” Caleb objected, knocking harder against the door of his bedroom. He didn’t know why his girlfriend had gotten all weird when she’d opened her Christmas present, but he could only guess that he’d done a bad job or something and she was protesting. “Besides, you have to let me in, it’s my room!”

“SMELL MY FEET, GIVE ME SOMETHING GOOD TO EAT, IF YOU DON’T, I DON’T CARE, I’LL PULL DOWN MY UNDERWEAR!” Caleb shouted the cheer, surprised he even remembered it from his childhood -- and then he glared at Bailey J, who seemed to be doubled over laughing. “Are you happy now? I’ve totally been a bad influence on Richie, if he moons anybody while we’re out with him trick or treating I’m blaming it on you.”

“Hello? Boyfriend, right here?” Caleb reminded Bailey J and Ofelia as they chattered away on the other side of the room. He’d been sitting on his bed listening to them talk about their costumes and prepare for that night’s party for what felt like ages, but that was the last straw. “That lady’s not even that hot, I don’t get why you’re all so obsessed with her anyway,” Caleb grumbled, pulling out his phone to Google the new reporter in town that had all the rest of Mystery Inc. so starstruck.

“Okay... if you say so,” Caleb said hesitantly, sliding his hand into Bailey J’s. It had taken months for Candice’s case to go to trial, and Caleb had felt like he should be there, to get one final bit of closure before she was sent off to jail for what he prayed was the rest of his life. He didn’t think Bailey J would want to be there with him, though, but a tiny piece of him was glad that she was. “Uh, can we not sit in the front row, though? You never know how far crazy  bitches can spit, and hers might be poisonous or something.”

Caleb cocked his head to the side, confused. “We’re the ones on the stakeout, how can we be the ones being watched?” he asked Bailey J, peering through his binoculars and turning them wildly in all directions until they landed directly behind him, locked on a pair of people staring through the back window. Caleb screamed as a gut reaction, not having expected anyone to be so close to them, then yelled at the rest of Mystery Inc, laughing from outside the window. “What the hell, you guys! Why are you spying on us? What did you think we were gonna do in this car?”

(HALLOWEEN) GIVE ME A SHIP AND I’LL TELL YOU WHO:

Chooses the pumpkin: Bailey J because she knows Caleb would probably pick a deformed one that looked like it had a shark fin.

Carves the pumpkin: They’d get two pumpkins and carve them together? Idk they like very different stuff, and each side of the door needs a pumpkin

Gets scared and clings the other in a haunted house: TBH lol Caleb’s convinced that Bailey J is super tough so he’d be the jumpier one that clung to her. 

Matching costume idea: Sharks in space. Caleb would dress up as a flying shark and he’d get Bailey J to dress up as the stars or the moon or something. 

Makes a cozy bed-fort to cuddle in: I feel like Bailey J probably buries herself in a blanket and decides she’s quitting the world when someone traumatizes her, and then Caleb just joins her and makes it a fort. 

Steal’s the other’s candy: Ummm Bailey J probably steals from Caleb because he can carry more than her since she’s smol, so he has more of a selection for her to grab things from? 

Accidentally gets lost in a corn maze: Caleb bc he’s dumb; Bailey J’s too smart for that. 

Tells spooky stories to scare the other: Caleb would try to tell her a scary story and mess up the execution of it and she’d just be confused.

Send me a ship and I’ll tell you:

who the fuck put the peeps in the microwave: In theory this should be Caleb but let’s be real, BJ likes her share of mischief sometimes too so they’d probably be eagerly standing around both watching

who forgot to put the cat outside before sex: Bailey’s the one with the cat so I’m gonna guess she’s the only one who would care about this? lol

who posts vines of the other doing embarrassing shit: Both. Caleb’s always filming everything, but he also does more stupid shit than Bailey J does.

who breaks the most phones: Caleb doesn’t break his phones, he’s just bad about updating them so he thinks it’s broken cuz he can’t see all of Bailey’s emojis. 

who dies first: Lol they’re all dying at the same time when Caleb drives them off the edge of a cliff in the Mystery Machine. But in seriousness probably Caleb, men usually die younger. 

which one I could see as being lactose intollerant: Caleb probs? He eats a lot and just assumes that’s why he feels sick after but he could be lactose intolerant and just not know it. 

who thinks they can do something really well even though they can’t: Caleb doesn’t think he’s good at much so I’m gonna guess Bailey? She thinks she knows everything but there’s gotta be something she’s not that great at. 

who is more likely to get kicked out of the bed: Caleb. He’s too tol and probably hogs all the covers.