#mixed.

It’s not that bad lmao but both those are implied, I guess, which is a pretty tough indictment for me personally, ig. From her perspective, things stopped being good about a year and a half ago, like I stopped seeming like I loved her. Which I think is about when I started to burn out, because to me, it started getting hard when she was studying for the mcat and only slowly and slowly became more and more about medicine lmaoooooooo and then I moved across the country expecting somehow that things would be different and less high pressure ?? Aren’t I boo boo the fool? But no, I am very thankful to have been in Vermont and the friends I made are people I care about deeply. And to be so honest like, now I know, you know? I know lots of things, and wouldn’t have been happy if I hadn’t felt I’d really followed thru on my own expectations for myself. Which, as I’ve started to realize, is like. A much more steady and practical perspective on commitment. Not being a team or a unit isn’t an option, so we should be working on this group project together. No wonder she started to feel I was resentful haha I couldn’t understand why I was paddling the ship on my own!!