#mitsunari

>>>>>> IKEVAMP >>>>>>> Characters: Le Comte - First Taste of You; Etiquette Tutor Roleplay Leonardo - (WIP) Napoleon - Before You; Body Guard Roleplay Mozart - (WIP) Jean - Your light found me; Isaac - Before you; Doctor Roleplay (NSFW) Dazai - First Taste of You; Arthur - Tutor Roleplay (NSFW); Theodorus - First Taste of You; Vincent - Before you; Sebastian - First Taste of You; Vlad - (WIP) Charles - (WIP) Faust - (WIP)

I learned a long while back that time travel can not be initiated by closing your eyes and reopening them.

I tried it anyway.

Nope.

Mitsunari was still in front of me, clutching the pillow book, and I had a feeling we were about to have a very awkward conversation.

“Lord Nobunaga suggested that I read this,” Mitsunari finally said.

Ok. Nobunaga was totally capable of being an enormous troll and doing just that, but… “Why?”

“I wanted to understand love.” He brushed at a page in the book, then gave it a closer look and slammed it closed.

Ah. Say something. Say something. I sank down on a cushion by the tea table. And said… nothing.

Mitsunari seated himself on the futon.

I mentally composed a hundred or so quippy comments before settling on, “Why?”

There was a slight hesitation before he answered. “Because I need to know what it feels like. Does it hurt? I think it must hurt sometimes.”

I took the book out of his hands and placed it on the desk. And then flipped it over so it was face down. “This is not the kind of book that will help. It might not be in any books at all.” (Modern self-help industry nonwithstanding). “Love is different for everyone.”

He nodded at the pillow book. “It seems like it would be futile, then to write this sort of text.”

“That’s not love. Well, I mean people who are in love enjoy those activities, in fact being in love likely enhances the experience – but that sort of thing can be enjoyable between any two-” Two or more, but I didn’t feel like I had the mental capacity to explain that “-people who are willing to participate.”

“That makes sense. In which case, I have a follow-up question.” He tapped the book. “Is the knowledge in this necessary for…” He left the sentence hanging.

I waited, but he didn’t fill in the blank. “I’m pretty sure it’s the kind of thing that people figured out long before there were books. Or there wouldn’t have been people around to write the books.”

“Yes. I see.” He sighed. My answer apparently hadn’t been satisfactory.

“Honestly, I don’t think this book is a ‘how to.’ Mozumi collected it because he enjoyed looking at the drawings.” Given the way he had treated Shohime and tried to manhandle me, I could almost guarantee that he hadn’t obtained the book for clues to how to satisfy a woman. “I mean, sure it probably helps to know what you’re doing. But you don’t need a book.” I reached my foot out and gently poked his calf. “Yes, there are things that you can figure out without a book. If two people pay attention to what each other likes, then it’s a good start.”

It looked like he was filing that information away to mull over later. “I’m not always adept at understanding what others like or feel. Is it permissible to ask? For example, if I said, ‘Okatsu, where do you like to be touched?’ it would be ok?”

My hand flew to the base of my throat before I could stop it, and I could feel my face grow warm. “Um. Yeah. It’s ok.”

He nodded as if I had answered more than one question, then opened his mouth to ask another, but I put up my hand. “Please. I am really not the person you should be talking about this with.” At his quizzical look, I sighed. “When it comes to the examples in that book, a lot of my knowledge is purely theoretical.”

“Ah. I understand. Would you like to borrow this book when I am finished reading it?” His expression was almost completely blank, save for a tiny quirk at the corner of his mouth that hinted at suppressed laughter.

Was Mitsunari actually… teasing me?

Well, we’ve already established that what I would have liked would have been to back out of the room and re-enter to pretend this conversation never happened, and … wait…. “What were you doing when I came in?”

He crouched next to me and opened to a page where the couple appeared to be performing something extremely acrobatic, for reasons unknown to me. “This looked rather difficult to achieve, and as I am generally clumsy, I wanted to test it out in case it was something that could potentially result in an injury.”

My first thought was that that made sense in a weirdly illogical-logical way. But that was swamped by the realization that this entire situation was completely ridiculous and I started laughing.

Mitsunari looked hurt, so I hurried to explain. “No… No. I’m not laughing at you. I’m laughing at-” I gestured to the room at large. “All this.”

A smile slowly bloomed across his face… and it was joy. “When you walked in… the look on your face. You must have thought I had gone mad.”

“I did, yes.” Since the book was just sitting there, I flipped a few pages and went off in giggles again. “Thank goodness you didn’t attempt this one – you might have given yourself a concussion!”

He tilted his head sideways to take in the full effect of the drawing. “I cannot imagine anyone performing that without injury.”

“Well. I could get into that position – it’s a simple handstand.” I got up and demonstrated. “With a little artistic flair.” I lowered my legs into a split – remnants of my old gymnastic days. “But I don’t see why you would when a futon is perfectly comfortable.”

Mitsunari tilted his head further, looking all like a baby bird waiting for his mum to return with a worm. “Perhaps I ought to bring the book to Nobunaga and asks him to elucidate the purpose of these later illustrations.”

I got an image. “I wouldn’t.”

“Hideyoshi then. Yes. Hideyoshi would be more patient.”

I pictured Hideyoshi’s face. “No! Don’t make me laugh when I’m upside down!”

TILT!

I tried to right myself before disaster.

Then Mitsunari tried to help.

We ended up in a heap on the floor. He caught my eye, and we started laughing again.

Until we were no longer laughing, but simply gazing at each other. I knew I should look away. I should stand up and move myself to another part of the room, but I was unable to do anything except look at him. That steady violet gaze – the one that always said, ‘I see you, you are ok, no matter what, things will be ok,’ usually calmed me but now it was making me wonder, ‘what if?’ What would it be like to allow myself to be loved and cherished?

Then all at once I felt like I wanted to cry. “I’m sorry, I must be crushing you.”

In an instant, I rolled off him and gotten to my feet.

The next instant, I was behind the screen, hidden from that gaze. I took several deep breaths, reminded myself that I was leaving, soon, in fact, the sooner the better, for everyone’s peace of mind.

That look in his eyes… he thought he loved me. But… we were just actors in a play. He’d gotten caught up in it all. Or maybe it was the placebo effect of that probably-fake love potion. The longer I stayed the more dangerous it was, the more I would be tempted to let him continue to believe he loved me. The longer I stayed, the more I would hurt him when I left.

“Okatsu, are you alright?” Mitsunari’s concerned voice floated through the screen.

“Yes. Fine. I’m just changing into my night clothes.” I wiped my eyes.

“Okatsu. Your nightclothes are out here.” A pause. A rustle. Then he handed me my clothes over the top of the screen.”

Another deep breath. “Thank you.”

I needed to leave.

Tonight.

I pulled the nightrobe on over my kimono. Maybe I looked a little bulkier than normal, but I hurried under the covers, dashing from the screen to the futon while Mitsunari determinedly had his head bent over a book (not the pillow book – he’d returned to military theory).

“Goodnight.” I turned my face away from the light.

“Goodnight, Okatsu. Sleep well.” He shuttered the lantern.

As I let my breathing even out, I concentrated on listening to Mitsunari, as his own breath slowed then slipped into that tiny humming noise he made when he slept. Once I was sure he was indeed asleep, I waited another half hour to be sure he was deeply past dreamland. Then I silently eased out from under the covers, slipped out of my sleeping robe, and found my old pack where I’d kept it on the shelf. Mitsunari didn’t even stir as I grabbed the pack, my sword, my bow and arrows.

Now, I could almost leave Okatsu behind, save for the light purple kimono I’d been wearing under the night robe. I didn’t want to further risk waking Mitsunari – instead, I would change back to my old self somewhere between here and Aki’s manor. The only thing of Okatsu’s that I would keep was the fan Mitsunari had given me. It was too useful to leave behind, I told myself.

Carrying my sandals in one hand and the pack in the other, sword stuffed into my obi, and my archery equipment slung across my back, I crept out of the room and padded silently down the corridor, making a detour to the kitchens. I would need some food for the road, and really, after all he’d (unintentionally) put us through, Mozumi owed me a meal or three.

Just as I was stuffing some fruit into my pack…

“What are you doing out of your room at this hour?” The ‘young lady’ was implied by the tone of voice.

Hideyoshi.

I give up.

He apparently has the Sengoku version of a tracker hidden in my things. It’s the only explanation I can think of for his continued popping up at the worst possible time.

“I’m leaving.” As his brows became that monobrow of frustration, I hurried on. “I need to meet up with my brother and return home.”

“Now? What is so important that you’ve got to leave in the middle of the night?” He looked beyond into the moonlit courtyard. “It’s not safe for a girl alone.”

I gestured to my weapons, and then to my pack. “I won’t be a girl. I’ll be the boy you met the first day I arrived.”

“I don’t like it.” While he continued to scowl, I liberated more rations from Mozumi’s stores.

“If I don’t leave now – it will just be harder for everyone later.” I wasn’t going to explain things any further, not to Hideyoshi, who had never approved of me to begin with.

He stared down at my face for a long time. “I see.”

Yes… he probably did.

“Did you leave a note?”

I shook my head. “There wasn’t time. And… maybe it would be kinder not to?” As soon as I said that, I knew I was wrong. Aki had ghosted my mother, and she had never recovered from the not-knowing why. “I’ll write one and leave it in the archives room before I go.”

“Do not move.” Wordlessly, he turned and stalked out of the kitchens.

I took the order at face value, and did not move, although I was impatient to get going while the moon was still out.

A few moments later, Hideyoshi returned with a writing set and a blank sheet of rice paper. He placed it on the table in front of me. “Try not to hurt him any more than you have to.” He crossed his arms and leaned back against the wall.

I stared at the blank page for a moment, tempted to lie to him and tell him I had had news of Aki, but in the end, I settled on vague. Dear Mitsunari, I’m sorry to leave in the middle of the night, but I thought about it and realized I cannot wait to search for my father. I didn’t wake you up, because I was afraid you would want to come with me, and I would not be strong enough to say no. You have a place with Hideyoshi and Nobunaga, and I don’t want my personal … I paused trying to figure out the correct word… quest to come between you and them. These past few weeks have been special to me and I’ll always remember you with love. No. Don’t confuse things. I scratched out ‘with love’. Be happy. Katsuko (Okatsu).

Then I folded it up and handed it to Hideyoshi. He sighed. “I’ll go get your horse.”

“No. Actually, it would be better if you distract Mitsuhide while I sneak her out.” While I was sure Mitsuhide would let me go (pretty sure… semi-sure), I didn’t feel up to dealing with the teasing he would put me through before that.

Artwork for this Chapter by Cali