#mitigated success

My second mitigated success of December was a gift to myself. Cuz what the hey, right?

I'm not sure why I decided to do this project when I did, except that I'd been thinking about it for a while and got tired of looking at the picture frames just sitting around.

I also can't remember where I got the inspiration/how to for this project. It's been on my mind for that long!

Anyway, it's a pair of jewelry hangers made out of a picture frame and hardware cloth.

Is it annoying that I show the end product first? Oh well, sorry.

Here's the thing. I have had one of these picture frames for at least a year. I bought it for a Halloween costume.

This is the genius accessory for last year's costume, FYI. Similar to the lunchbox purse from this year. Because anyone can dress up as Frida Khalo, but I went as Frida Khalo's self portrait. It's a small detail, but critical. I think.

I picked up the other frame with this project in mind at a little shop somewhere. I don't remember when.

So, one night in December I just up and decide that I want to do this project, so I go to the Do It Center to get the hardware cloth and S hooks.

Now, I love hardware stores. I truly do. Part of what I love about them is that I never quite know how they are organized. So I do a lot of wandering around looking for what I need, and I get lots of new screwy little ideas.

Here's the weird thing, though. On this random night in December, I don't wander. I accidentally walk right up to the hardware cloth, which is on a shelf in the back of the paint section. Way to easy, right? So I'm sure the S hooks will be impossible to find.

But I turn the corner onto the next aisle, and hey-o, there are those S hooks. Oh, and right next to the S hooks?? Picture hangers. No joke.

I'm thinking this is way to easy so far. And I'm right.

They call this stuff hardware cloth. But it's not cloth. It's wire. It's metal. You have to cut it with wire cutters. And if you don't wear work gloves when you handle it, you will bleed.

So I measure out my pieces and cut what I need off the roll (takes forever, makes me bleed), and I go to town with my staple gun affixing the hardware cloth to the back of the frame.

Oh hey look. Wow.

So my staple gun is now too heavy duty.

Switching immediately to hot glue gun.

The hot glue gun seems to hold the hardware cloth down well enough, and I figure no one will notice the puncture wounds on the front of the frame. One down, one to go.

The other picture frame is much heavier wood and I'm pretty sure it's thicker, too. And because I love my staple gun and don't want her to get lonely (I don't care about the hot glue gun, evidently) I try it out on the second one.

WAY TO GO!!!

Switching back to glue gun for the duration.

No one will notice that I made the same mistake on both frames, right?

Right?

Anyway, my jewelry is now much easier to see and therefore wear.

Bonus: I realized that if any piece of jewelry is too ugly to hang on the wall, I am probably not going to put it around my neck ever again. So I now know which pieces to harvest for parts (in case you didn't already guess, a lot of my jewelry is a fail it yourself project from days of yore) and streamlined my jewelry collection. Score!

So, as the title suggests, I had a number of mitigated successes.This is the first.

I saw this recipe for orange bitters in my Sunset magazine and I was like, yes, that please.

So first I gather up ingredients. And this takes an entire day.

It begins when I decide to take a short hike in the morning, and I leave the house right after breakfast. And I realize on my way to the hike that I need to use the bathroom, and I'd rather do that before the hike. So I stop in at Von's because I know they'll have a public bathroom. (Oddly, I was doing so much running around about this time that I used the bathroom in no less than three different grocery stores in the span of one weekend. Weird, I know, but they're pretty dependable to be honest.)

Anyway, I figure, while I'm here, why don't I gather up my bitters ingredients? And that works pretty well except I can't get Everclear at Von's because I guess grain alcohol is kind of intense for a supermarket.

But I realize as I'm leaving the supermarket that there's a BevMo in the same parking lot, and I'm like, that's perfect. Of course, it's Sunday morning at 9:45 and the liquor store doesn't open until 10. But never mind. I'll wait.

I wait outside the liquor store for the clerk to unlock the door, and I walk right in and ask for Everclear, and suddenly I realize that I just waited outside the liquor store on Sunday morning so I could buy grain alcohol. I explain to the clerk as I check out that I'm making bitters so he doesn't think I have a problem. I'm not sure he believes me.

After my hike, I go to Whole Foods, where I find whole cardamom and star anise, also not available at Von's. Then I go to Ace Hardware (which is THE place, FYI) and buy five half pint mason jars, one quart mason jar, and one two-quart mason jars.

And I come home and get ready to mix this stuff up, and that's when I realize that the warnings on this bottle of everclear are insane.

I can't believe I'm using this stuff as anything other than some type of fuel AND giving it as a gift. But it's too late. I've already embarrassed myself at BevMo and made myself find a parking spot at the abysmal Whole Foods, so there's no going back.

I zest my orange and chop up my ginger and put everything in the medium sized jar.

Tip for failing this yourself: Do NOT stick your face in the jar at this point and expect it to smell like Christmas. It doesn't smell like Christmas. It smells like grain alcohol.

Three weeks later, I come back with a cheese cloth and do my straining and boiling. And I melt the sugar, which does exactly what the instructions say it will do, and all is going fine.

This is the sugar water stuff cooling in a bowl of ice water. Neat, right?

Then I add it all together in one big jar.

At this point, it's safe to stick your face in the jar and take a whiff. It will smell like Christmas. Actually, after cooking it on the stove, your whole kitchen will smell like Christmas.

Tip for failing it yourself: Don't light the jar on fire and expect it to burn like a yule log. It won't burn like a yule log. It will explode in your face like grain alcohol.*

After leaving it another five days, I come back and strain it all out again into a pitcher that usually holds my tongs and spoons and things.

Sans pitcher.

The Pitcher.

For the record, I washed all the new jars and the old pitcher before using them. Not that anything gross could have survived immersion in the grain alcohol, but just in case you're wondering.

Then I pour it in five neat little jars.

They're a little sticky, though, so after putting the caps on the jars I get a wet paper towel and wipe them all off.

And that's when this project went from a smashing success to a success mitigated by 20% in a single smash.

Yay.

It's ok, I can make another batch. I should start tomorrow. Should I drop by BevMo when it opens on New Years Eve and snag some more Everclear? Yep. Good Plan.