#mit-riko

Lillie opened her mouth to answer, yet no sound came out. It wassilly—stupid, even—to be so upset over such little comments, and she knewshe shouldn’t be. She was strong now. She was so strong, and she was going tobe a trainer, and she was going to prove that she was worthy of Nebby. She didn’thave to call her brother for every little thing. That wasn’t what strongtrainers did. And she was strong, shewas, she had grown a lot and shecould—she could handle this—

“Lils?” Gladion pressed.

“I—nothing,” Lillie said, and she swallowed and cleared her throat totry and work past the squeak in that one word. “It’s—it’s nothing, but …”

“But?”

“Could you, um—would you … would you like to come to Kanto?”Lillie tried to make her voice light and upbeat—cheerful, like Hau alwayscould and did no matter what the situation was. One time, shortly after she hadmoved in with Professor Kukui, Hau had followed her up into the loft. Lilliehadn’t heard him—he was so quick and light on his feet, and she had been sofocused on getting Nebby’s bag, that she hadn’t heard him ascend the ladder.Yet when she had turned around, there he was, and she had been so shocked thatshe had shoved him without thinking. Hau had tumbled off the loft and landedhard on the floor below, yet when she had rushed to make sure he was all right,he had laughed the whole thing off, despite the pain he was in. Hau could alwayssound cheerful and upbeat, no matter what. Lillie needed to channel some of hissunshine. “It’s really quite nice here, and there are a lot of interestingsights and pokémon to see. I’ve heard a lot of great things about Mt Moon, andI still have to travel through there to reach Pallet Town, so I thought that wecould go through together and—”

“I’ll be there tomorrow.”

“—mayb—huh?” Lillie almost dropped the phone, but caught it againat the last second. A passing nurse gave her an odd look. “Tomorrow? That soon?”

“Or however the time zone bullshit works, yeah,” Gladion said. “I’llcatch the next flight out.”

“But what about things back home? Aren’t you—weren’t you put incharge of Aether Paradise?”

“Like I give a fu—shit,” Gladion said, and Lillie appreciated that hehad at least tried to censor himself, though she wasn’t sure how much good itdid for him to substitute profanity for different profanity. “Wicke can dealwith it. She should’ve been dealing with it in the first place, but—whatever.I don’t care. I’ll be there tomorrow. You gonna be okay until then?”

“Yeah. Yes. I’m okay now, but… thank you, Gladie.” Lillie twirled her finger in the cord of the phone,and closed her eyes as she cradled the receiver a little closer. “I’m reallyhappy you’re coming here. I’m staying at the Sand Dollar Suites in CeruleanCity, okay? I don’t know where the nearest airport is, so—”

“Looks like Saffron City,” Gladion said, and she heard him typing andthen a mouse clicking from the other end of the line. “But it looks like I’llbe able to get to Cerulean within the day, so it’s not a big deal.”

“Be careful,” Lillie said. “I’ve heard Saffron City can be dangerous,especially with the underground paths near there. Apparently—”

“Whatever the fuck’s dangerous in Saffron City’s gonna be real sorry ifthey try any shit with me or Silvally tomorrow,” Gladion said flatly. “I’mgonna see you tomorrow, my time, and that’s that. We’ll meet at that hotel ofyours, okay? Sand Dollar Suites, right?”

“Right,” Lillie said. “What time is your flight getting in? I don’thave a phone yet, so …”

They exchanged flight times and worked out the time zone difference,and once it was established that they would meet up at six p.m. in the lobby ofLillie’s hotel, Lillie hung up the phone. The moment she did, she felt an icyslip of shame slide down her back.

Odds were that, by the time Gladion arrived tomorrow, she would beperfectly fine. She didn’t need himto come to Kanto, and calling him over something so small—making him thinkthat there was an emergency, that there was danger—was wrong of her,especially since she was so much stronger now than she was back then. But itwas done, now—he was definitely, for sure coming—and she knew there wasnothing in the world that she could do to stop him. Even if she called himright back and told him that it was fine, he didn’t need to come visit, hewouldn’t believe her. Worse still, he might think there was someone forcing herto say that. So she had called him, and he was on his way, and that was that.She would see him tomorrow. And for all that knowing that she would see herbrother tomorrow made her feel better, it also made her feel a little worse.

Even so, she forced herself to smile, to at least look upbeat even if she didn’t feel it. She would see him tomorrow,and that was that, and if nothing else they would at least both get a hug outof it. That was something to look forward to.

- - -

As promised, Gladion arrived at the Sand Dollar Suites lobby a littleafter six p.m. And despite thinking that she wouldn’t need to see him, that it was wrong of her to call him, Lillie allbut ran to him the second she saw him walk through the door, and threw her armsaround his neck.

Gladion stiffened in her embrace, but it still only took a second forhim to hug her back. His hugs were tight—they had always been tight, even when they were five and he was hugging her as heassured her that she was pretty and great and hadn’t done anything wrong, evenif Mommy was mad again. His hugs weretight, and they were the best, even though his hoodie was covered in pokémon dander and he smelled a little like cigarettesmoke (he had picked up the habit after running away, apparently, and he hadtold her he was quitting before she left for Kanto, but the smell was fresh andshe suspected quitting was harder than he had made it seem). But as tightly ashe hugged her, he ended it just as quickly; he pulled back, his hands on hershoulders and his eyes staring directly into hers, as he asked, “What’s wrong?”

Lillie shook her head, her lips pressed tightly together, and althoughit was much harder to lie with him looking right at her like that, she tried anyway.“There isn’t anything wrong. I just …” Her lower lip trembled, and shesniffed as she felt tears stinging at her eyes. “I just really need to have youhere right now.”

And in the next second, before she could help it, before she could stopit, before she could even think of how ridiculous it was given how strong shewas now, she started bawling. It escaped her first as a hiccup—a sob—andthen was pouring out of her before she could help it. Once again Gladion pulledher into a hug, albeit a gentler one this time, as he guided her over to thesitting area in the lobby, further away from the reception desk and the newguests entering in through the front doors. As they sat down on one of thesofas he fished Silvally’s pokéball from the pocket of his hoodie, and in aquick flash Silvally was standing sentry, blocking them from view. Lilliehiccupped and coughed as she tried to get her crying under control—tried so hard, because Hau didn’t cry, andneither did Alola’s first Champion—but it was difficult, even as Gladionrubbed soothing circles into her back as he held her, and murmured assuranceslike, “Shh, it’s okay, Lils, it’s okay, I’m right here, it’s okay …”

“I—I—I’m s-sorry,” she blubbered, and she wiped at her eyes, eventhough there was no point in trying to hide her tears now. “I just, I—sh-she’sright, I can’t do it, I can’t—”

“Who’s right, and about what?” Gladion demanded.

“M-Mother,” Lillie said, and though Gladion’s demand had made it clearhe had a good idea who Lillie had been talking about even before she said theword, the moment she did, his face twisted into a scowl.

Their mother wasn’t conscious for very long each day. Although Wickehad been hopeful that doctors in Cerulean City would be able to offer treatment,it turned out that the transformation Bill had suffered had been fundamentally differentfrom possession by an Ultra Beast, and as such Kantonian technology was no moreadept at healing their mother than Alolan technology would have been. ButLillie hadn’t wanted to return to Alola as a failure—hadn’t wanted to admitto everyone there that her journey had been for nothing—and so she hadchecked her mother into an Kantonian hospital regardless, where they were doingeverything they could to help her recover. As it stood, she was still only managingan hour of lucidity each day, if that. But during her lucid hours she andLillie were still able to talk, and Lillie had explained her intentions ofgoing to Pallet Town, receiving a first pokémon and maybe even a Pokédex, andsetting off on a journey of her own. There was no Island Challenge in Kanto,but there were Gyms, and Lillie had hopes that she would be able to challengethem and win badges.

Her mother was … less than optimistic.

“What do you want to become a trainer for?” her mother had said. “Isthe Aether Foundation not enough for you?”

“I—no, that isn’t it,” Lillie had said, and she had twisted herfingers together in her lap. “I just think that becoming a trainer would befun, and—and it would help me learn about pokémon. It helped Hau, and—”

“You need to stay here with me,” her mother had said. “I need you. Youknow I can’t get by without you.”

“I know, and I’m not leaving,” Lillie had said. “Not yet, not until you’rebetter—”

“But you’re already talking about leaving. You talk about it every day.You can’t wait to leave.” Her mother had settled back on her pillows, and hadlooked up at the ceiling. “Just like your father, and your brother. Both ofthem left me, too, after all I did for them. And now you’re the same way. I’lldie without you, but you’ll leave me anyway.”

“No, I won’t!” Lillie had insisted. “I won’t, Mother, and—and Gladiondidn’t either, not really. He left, but it was only temporary. He’s at homenow—”

“Oh, I’m sure he is,” her mother had said, but her voice had been sodry of sincerity that it was practically a desert. “How do you imagine you’llmake it when you abandon me, Lillie? It is a long way to Pallet Town from here,isn’t it? You’ll encounter many wild pokémon.”

“I have Repels—Max Repels,” Lillie had said. “They’ll keep the wildpokémon at bay until I have my own to protect me.”

“Repels only work if you have a high-level pokémon with you. They workedbefore because you had Cosmog, but they won’t work now. You didn’t think aboutthat, did you?”

“I … n-no, I didn’t—”

“Thoughtless and simple. You always have been my simple girl.” Hermother had reached out and gently tapped her lips, something she had done eversince Lillie was a baby, and Lillie had ducked her head.

She had ducked her head and held back her tears then, but now was adifferent story. She furiously scrubbed at her eyes as she sputtered, “And she’s—she’sright, Gladie, she’s right, I didn’t e-even think, and I—I can’t do it, I can’t—”

“No,” Gladion said flatly. “Fuck that and fuck her. You can and youwill.”

“Gladion!” Lillie hissed. “Watch your language, please, we’re in public and she’s our mothe—”

“Like I give a fuck. Let Tapu Koko smite me if it wants or whatever,hell if I care. Listen.” Gladion put both of his hands on Lillie’s shoulders,looking directly into her eyes, and though more tears slipped down her cheeks,Lillie did her best to not look away. “The bitch who calls herself our motheris president of two things: the Aether Foundation, and being the fucking worst.And she’s wrong, okay? She’s wrong because she’s the worst, and being the worstmeans that she has to be really fucking wrong about everything that’s actuallygood and decent in the world by lying about it. So even though you can and youwill go to Pallet Town, get a pokémon, and be a great fucking trainer, she’sgoing to lie and say you can’t and won’t because she’s a horrible bitch, andbeing a horrible bitch means she only feels good when she’s making someone elsefeel bad.”

Lillie took a deep breath and closed her eyes. “Please stop calling hera … a bitch. She’s our mother,Gladion.”

“And she’s the fucking worst, Lillie,”he shot back. “Look at you, you’re a wreck because she’s been a fucking—”

“Gladion—”

“—because she’s been horrible whenall you’ve been trying to do is be good to her. And for what, huh? What has shedone to deserve it? What has she ever done to deserve either of us trying to do anythingfor her?” Gladion tapped his foot rapidly against the ground, and Lilliecould feel him trembling, enough to shake the sofa they sat on. “I used tothink that it was just because Dad left, and then I thought that maybe it wasbecause of the neurotoxins, but here she is stillbeing like this even after we—” He shook his head, sharply as if todislodge a fly, and then said, “No. No. Not anymore. I’ve had it. I’m fuckingdone.”

“What does that mean?” Lillie asked. She had a sudden wave of déjà vu—amemory of when he ran away the first time, and she didn’t know what she woulddo if he did it again. She needed him, she couldn’t stand to go another twoyears without him, not when he was both her brother and her best friend—

“It means you’re—we’re goingto Pallet Town, you’re getting apokémon, and I’m teaching you how tobattle.” Gladion took her hand and stood up, pulling her off the sofa with him.“We’re gonna do the Gyms or whatever bullshit they’ve got here in Kanto, andLusamine can rot in the fucking hospital or wherever the hell she is. She wantsto talk about how everyone’s betraying and abandoning her? Fine. Let’s let hersee what that feels like.”

“Gladie, we can’t do that,” Lillie said. “She’s our mother, and even ifshe wasn’t, we can’t prove her right—”

“The hell we can’t!” Gladion said. “Lils, I spent two years living outof a motel room, sharing packets of instant noodles and pokébeans withSilvally, and getting kicked around by Team Skull just for trying to surviveand maybe, just maybe protectSilvally while I was at it, only for her to call me a nasty little traitor thefirst time she saw me after two years. She didn’t give a fuck what I went through or what happened to me. It was all about her. And you? She treated you like shit,tried to kill you, and now, after you’vegone out of your way and put your own life on hold to try and helpher—something I, by the way, also did by sticking around fucking AetherParadise until she got back—she’s stillcalling you names and making you feel bad just because you want to liveyour own life. Forget her being our mother. I don’t care anymore. I got alongwithout a mom just fine for two years, and I can do it again, and so can you,because this time, we’ll have each other. She wants to be horrible? Fine, butshe can do it without us. She can be horrible to someone else. We’re done, okay?”

The right thing to do, Lillie thought, would have been to say no. Theywere a family, they were supposed to stick together. They were supposed tostand by (and up to, when needed) their mother no matter what. Their mother hadno way to treat them the way she did, and Lillie knew that, and she had toldher as much in Ultra Space; but even if she did, running away wasn’t really theright answer. Proving their mother right by leaving wasn’t the right answer.

But where her mother told her that she couldn’t become a trainer,Gladion told her that she would. Where her mother had hushed and scolded herfor starting to cry in the hospital room (“What if someone sees? Wipe yourtears,” her mother had snapped), Gladion had hugged and comforted her. Whereher mother had just tapped her lips time and again, Gladion was holding herhand, his grip secure and warm.

She shouldn’t leave. She shouldn’t abandon her mother, like her motherhad said that she would. But standing in the hotel lobby, with her twin brotherholding her hand and his partner Silvally standing behind him, Lillie nodded.

“Okay,” she said, and Gladion smiled. His smile was fierce and bright;it blazed like the sun above the Alola archipelago, and Lillie felt true warmthfor the first time since setting foot in Kanto.