#mistershinyobject

god you’re so right

One of the neatest things about Magic is how it portrays such magical, fantastical beings. Wizards that can shoot lightning from their hands. Warriors that can slice massive beasts in twain. Gods that mold the world and people around them by their mere presence.

But where’s the average citizen? Why is it that every card has to feature extreme displays of battle and sorcery? Why can’t there be a tax attorney? And even when there are people with jobs like astronomer and archivist, the game just ignores that fact because they happen to also be wizards. And poor Orcish Lumberjack is still just a classless (literally, not figuratively) orc.

This week’s challenge is to make a creature card with a real-world profession as one of its creature types.

Any profession works, whether it be your own, something rare like astronaut, something generic like farmer, or something that you can do professionally like skater.

The creature can have other types, even other classes.

It doesn’t have to be completely form the real world. You can make it an elf or an ooze or have it be from Zendikar or Theros or whatever you feel like.

Try not to overlap too much with existing types (i.e. lawyer is already kind of covered by advisor). That said, I won’t be too judgy here, and I completely understand if you want to go against existing types on professions, such as making a medic who isn’t a cleric.

Once you’ve got your worker all worked out, you can submit it here.

And if you feel like doing some networking, check out our discord server here.

No and no and you can’t.

Convoke can only pay for generic and colored mana in a mana cost, and snow mana and colorless mana are neither of those things, so those costs can’t be convoked away.

The only way to pay a cost represented by the snow mana symbol is with mana from a snow permanent. Similarly, the only way to pay a specifically colorless cost is with colorless mana.

You’re Hired

Congratulations to our three winners this week, naban-dean-of-irritation, ignorantturtlegaming, and teaxch for keeping things professional.

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@naban-dean-of-irritation - Encouraging Educator

I love this card. It’s extremely straightforward, just one tap ability, but it sells the card so well. I can understand exactly what the flavor is just by the ability and creature type. I also love the power of this card, how it’s a better and worse steel overseer or sigil captain, but how with a little building around it can become a real powerhouse. This is exactly the type of card I was hoping to see out of this contest.

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@ignorantturtlegaming - Gorluk, Brutal Chef

This is my favorite of the many chef’s we’ve gotten. First of, it makes a lot, lot of food, up to three per turn cycle. It’s legendary, so that’s not going to be too scary, and food alone is pretty harmless because of the mana investment. I think it might be a bit too much at rare in packs, though, since a lot of limited decks wouldn’t be able to beat pay 4 gain 6 every turn. As for the activated ability, I really like it. They’re all in flavor and color, and though giving trample at instant speed for no mana is a little scary, the haste and vigilance abilities make for some very interesting decision making. This is a card that can sit and keep you alive for turns, but there’s always going to be the temptation to just scarf down everything and beat face. Foodbreathing is a strong effect! And though I normally don’t feel this way, the art really helps it. This is the silliest and probably least balanced of the winners this week, but it’s just so fun!

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@teaxch - Eagle-Eyed Referee

I love the choice of race here; birds have a great aerial view of the playing field, they always seem like they’re judging you, the pun, and the reference to flavor judge. I also love how the judge is so clearly being bribed because they view any attack towards you as a penalty. I love this effect, it’s a very white effect, and I’d normally think it’s too strong but “if you’re going to kill me you better do it all at once” is a pretty common trade-off effect, and this let’s you do it twice. This is also one of the most appropriate times to create a new named counter (it usually bugs me when players make a new counter just to make the flavor make sense) since it’s going on your opponents stuff and you don’t want any incidental overlap. I also haven’t decided if I like or dislike the fact that two referees means you just exile everything, since it’s a way stronger effect, but also requires you to keep two of these out. Other than that, I can’t say much of anything bad about this card.

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Thank you everyone for competing in this week’s contest, it was a blast for me to look through, and I’m proud of every single one of you for trying out this (in retrospect pretty difficult) prompt. The commentary is already written and will be up tomorrow along with runner-ups.