#missingmydog

During the last few weeks, I noticed that my dog was getting skinny. He wasn’t eating much. This weekend, I felt his back and noticed that I could feel his bones. He was laying around and not moving. My dog is a black lab so he was very energetic and very happy. At 2 o'clock last night, I got out of my bed to look for him. He was laying my back yard in the grass, I thought he was dead and I felt as if my heart stopped beating just for a second. I called his name as I approached and he moved his head. I could see he was sick so I waited until he got up. I promised him that in the morning I would take him to the doctor. So I did. 

The vet contacted me and told me that he had a mass. A very big one in his spleen that the only thing that we could do is surgery. I couldn’t afford it, so I cried and felt terrible. I asked what were the options...it was only just to make him feel comfortable. He told me that we would have to take it day by day due to the fact the meds could be too much or too little and would have to be adjusted. It would also just keep him comfortable and that he could pass at any time.

My heart broke. I cried.

I have had Jack for 13 years or so. I didn’t want him to suffer. I have a child so I didn’t want them to walk outdoors and find him dead. So I decided to put him down. I was assured by the vet that he would be treated well and be comfortable during the transition. He explained the entire process. He told me that he just went through the same thing in his family and that this was a difficult decision. 

I had trouble having a child. I spent thousands on doctors and prayed daily that I would be blessed with a child. I told God that if he gave me a child, I would treat the child well. So, I was so sad, I went to the pound and found Jack. Jack was my furbaby ever since. God then blessed me with my one miracle baby and I have made good on my promise to him. 

Tomorrow I have to pick up Jack and bury him in my yard. A dog dying is not a big deal to many people but he is all that I had for many years. He was there when I was alone, when I was pregnant he was there and he was a part of my life. Death comes. We all have to face the fact that death in some way will touch us. We have to think about how we deal with it. Death and illness are one of the times when we come head to head on what we truly believe. 

The reason why I wrote this tonight is that to let the world know that GOD IS GOOD!!!! Even during our darkest moments, he is there. Tonight, I am feeling sad about Jack. Apprehensive about picking him up and saying goodbye. My daughter still doesn’t know because she is small and it will hurt her. But she is sensing something and is crying about when he is coming back. 

I turned on the tv to get our mind off of this and a DOG’S PURPOSE came on TV! I never saw this movie before and when I saw it, it made me feel better. The night of my dog’s death, I was about to watch something that made me feel better.

 Like I said before how many times do coincidences happen before you realize that it is GOD? On the night of my dog's death, a movie is playing that is about a dog spirit moving from dog to dog and owner to owner? How the dog never really dies???

Remember when I told you that I was sick and I called out to God that I was alone??? Remember when I told you that I received calls from people that I haven’t heard from in a long time and that I came into their mind??? Remember? THAT WAS GOD!!! THIS IS GOD!!

He is giving me comfort. He is giving me peace and strength. I want to scream this to the highest mountain and the widest sea. I see! I feel! This is an example of his love!

Jack is in peace now. I thank God for the years that I had with him and that I am glad that it didn’t suffer too much. I know this is just a dog.