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I know the whole saying about how it’s always worse before it gets better.
It’s been worse for myself and my family for years. Where’s our Better? Haven’t we suffered enough?
I mean, both my sister and I were laid off a week ago. She found a different job but I have to wait on maybe getting unemployment. I may never get my job back.
And then I find out last night that in addition to everything else- the oven broke not even halfway through cooking dinner. So we have to fix that with money we don’t have.
Then I heard what I can only explain as a giant boom that was right over the roof of our house last night and then I heard 3 more smaller ones after so I’m convinced there’s another drug house nearby, which scares me because the crazy idiot out back is on pot and cbd oil and that’s bad enough because she’s crazy and delusional. We don’t need another idiot cooking drugs in this area again.
On top of all that I’m just really having a hard time right now and I had another dream with my grandma in it and again she was perfectly fine and I was talking to her at her house and asking her questions and I just really miss her today.
On days or nights like this, I like to take the time to reflect. I’d reflect on how my week’s been going, family, friends, how I can improve myself and so on. I also would remind myself that I woke up to another day for a reason and to be thankful for it. Not many people see it this way but waking up to another day…you never know when someone’s last day on this planet would be. For example, yesterday marked one year since my grandma passed away and it broke me. But I’ve also started a new habit where I’d wake up, thank God for a new day and get started. I’d be thankful for another day whether if it’s coke or hot, rainy or sunny and even if it’s noisy or quiet. I’d also remember to put a smile on my face and focus on the positives. That doesn’t meant I don’t miss my grandma, I really miss her a lot but I know that she’s still in my mind and heart wherever I go. Do yourselves a favor and create a new positive habit for yourself.
💐I went to put flowers on my grandmothers grave and found this sign out front.. I think He knew I was going to need a little laugh
💖🙏🏻💖

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Filling out depressing doctor paper work and I see this notification. CRYING. She's literally standing in the middle of my grandmother's favorite flowers 😭
It's been 2 years that this world lost one of the greatest people ever. I miss you Grammy.
Tomorrow morning is my grandma’s funeral. There’s so much that has to be done to put together a funeral. My mom and I are exhausted. I’m afraid the twins won’t be cooperative on the way there and I’ll be late.
I’ve been so involved with looking after my mom and the babies that I haven’t even had a chance this week to cry.
One more week until I see my husband.
I’m really sad.