#misses

“yeah, the green cargos match better.” you say to your boyfriend dominic as you take a drag of your cigarette, watching him do a mini fashion show for you in your hotel room, clothes strewn about on the bed and around the floors. people who watch your videos love your style, so he figured you could help him elevate his stage outfits, but you tease him that it’s cause he likes when you watch him change. which is partially true.

dominic nods at your opinion, pulling off his black jeans and paces around the room in only his calvin klein boxers, looking for the cargos you liked. instead of helping him, you are sat on the bed, cigarette in hand, checking out your man.

after a good twenty seconds, he looks at you with a teasing frown, and his curls all tousled from constantly changing shirts. “baby, stop checkin’ me out and help me look.” he says, catching you in the act of eye fucking him as you quickly exhale smoke and hop of the bed.

“my baaad.” you grin, sliding off the bed and placing your cigarette between dominic’s lips, and moving around some shirts. “found em’.” you say, holding up the pants. “how did you find them so fast? you’re like my ma, she always finds shit at like, lightning speed.” he responds in awe.

“nah, you just can’t see for shit, dom.”

dominic jokingly whines. “this relationship is emotionally abusive.”

you fake pout. “oh noooo is he gonna write an album about this?”

“hey,” he grins, rolling his eyes, because you have been nagging him to get his album done faster. “production takes a long ass time, and like, i’ve been busy ‘n stuff.”

rolling your eyes, you take a drag from the cigarette and sit back on the bed. “busy or lazy?” you say as you tug his arm, pulling him to sit on the bed with you.

“busy.” dominic replies confidently, lifting you gently onto his lap. “busy with ‘m baby. wanna be with you, every day. no time left for album.”

you laugh as he starts trailing wet fluttery kisses down your neck, his pretty curls all up in your face. “okaaay, fine no album.” you manage to sputter out right before he kisses your lips and lays you flat on the bed, and crawls on top of you.

your eyes close at the feeling of his lips, and now his teeth grazing along your neck, his long fingers quickly pushing down your sweatpants. “baby, the car is coming to drive you to soundcheck like, hella soon.” you say, your brain a mess and you mind going numb just looking at your boyfriend. 

at that, he gets off of you, and you think he is going to stop, but you are dead wrong on that. “you’ve finished in like, two minutes before. we’ll manage.” dominic huffs out, his tan face sporting a sweaty blush already, and his hair askew from all your ministrations. looking down, his hands are tugging his boxers down as fast as humanly possible.

“fuck off, it was not two minutes. i am not that easy.” you groan, flopping onto the bed as dominic crawls back up onto you.

THREE HOURS LATER.

as dominic is getting his mic pack set up, you are sitting in the green room, editing a new video for your channel on your computer. you had recently hit four million followers, and nearly a million views on your paris fashion week vlog. this had become your pastime as you wait for dominic to go onstage, or when you are on flights, or anything of that sort.

after finally finishing the video, you check your instagram immediately after. there had been some rumors, some stories lingering in the air about you and dominic, but he said he didn’t feel like going public for a while, because he wanted to keep things private, and handle what the media saw.

to you, it was valid. you had no prior experience of dating a pretty big name, so you really didn’t mind either way. part of you thought it was fun reading the speculations, watching the few edits, and seeing which fan page got the timeline right. above all, it was calm. no expectations.

but there was a tiny part inside of you that wanted to embrace him in all aspects of your life. your videos, other media, and just going out without sunglasses and a fuckass baseball cap. it wasn’t about wanting to flaunt or parade your relationship, but to just confirm it. but you never told dominic this. you love and respect him, so you would wait until he is ready. or unless the paparazzi catches you kissing.

before you can dwell on it any longer, dominic bursts into the green room. his curls are slightly damp and have begun sticking to his forehead from the humidity, and he is tugging his hoodie off. 

“the guitar amp got absolutely fucked from trasport, but we fixed it”, he says. his eyes drift over to you next to him on the couch, your laptop light flickering and your face blank. his rockstar ego dissipates, replaced by the guy who tumbled around the hotel room with you a few hours ago. “you finish editing baby?”

“just now, yeah.” you say, closing your laptop and setting it down on the coffee table. his lanky, muscly arm pulls you against his side, and he buries his face into the crook of your neck, as you sigh, and grin. your fingers fix his curls, getting them nice and pretty before his show. 

“you smell so good. your smell. best smell ever, on my mama.” he says, muffled into your neck. your eyes drift downward to your phone that buzzes. a #domxy/n speculation on your insta feed, trying to piece the puzzle together.

you stare at it, and a sudden, heavy wave of exhaustion hits you. not quite the exhaustion from the long travel days or long editing stretches. it’s the weight of the covering up with hats and glasses, and the constant, calculated scan of a restaurant before you can sit down, or the creating distance the second you exit a building.

dominic notes your change in mood immediately. “whats wrong baby? you’re quiet. did the video delete or somethin’?” 

“no, the video’s fine.” you sigh, tossing your phone down onto the couch cushions. “just thinking.”

“about?” dom urges, nudging your shoulder. you hesitate, looking at his face. his tan skin, cute button nose, and his eyes that bore into yours, looking like you hung the moon. you love him so much, it hurts. and because you love him, you kept your wants tucked away, not wanting to add to the pressure of his tour. but looking at him now, your exhaustion wins.

“i’m just tired, dom.” you admit carefully. “not like, sleep deprived. just tired of hiding you.” you finish, and he goes still. 

“i respect why we’re doing it, like i don’t need a fucking red carpet debut and i don’t want to parade you around or any of that shit, but i’m tired of pulling my hand away from yours the second we’re in public. i just wanna walk down the street and kiss you if i want too. i don’t know.” you explain.

dominic listens, and his eyes never leave yours. he doesn’t interrupt, or get defensive. he just lets you speak. “y/n,” he murmurs once you finish. “i’m sorry. i’m so so sorry i made you feel hidden away, like i’m ashamed.”

you shake your head. “you didn’t make me feel like that,” you clarify. “i know why we did it.”

“yeah, but i kinda got too comfortable in the bubble.” he says, scratching his hair, and pulling you closer, his breath along your neck. “i was kinda… scared of the whole circus, you know? it feels kinda like, theres a million eyes on you. i wanted to protect this, but it does get suffocating.”

he kisses you gently, before he speaks again. “i love you. i think it’s about time we kiss in restaurants, n’ shit. give me a bit of time, let me talk to reed and make sure they don’t crash our apartments. i promise you.”

“yeah? you’d think about it?” you ask, your lips curving into an excited smile. “i’m already thinkin’ about it. thinkin’ how much better your vlogs are gonna be once i make an appearance.” 

you nod enthusiastically and thank him by kissing his face all over. the moment is unfortunately cut short by reed knocking on the door. “ARE YOU GUYS DECENT??” he says through the door, and you and dominic give each other a teasing look. the two of you have nearly traumatized them enough.

dom gets up and opens the door. “yeah man?” he says, dapping up reed. “you’re on in five.” he says, handing dominic his black microphone. your boyfriend blows you a kiss as he follows reed to the stage.

“also, i- uh, have something important to ask, its about me and y/n.” dominic tries to tell his manager. reed nods, half listening. “yeah, yeah we will talk after. you gotta go on.”

FORTY MINUTES LATER.

now, you are standing in the dim lighting of the stage wings, listening to your boyfriend doing his thing and the crowd screaming along. you always loved concerts, and the bonus of dating one of your favourite artists is that you can attend every one. your eyes trail down his body and outfit, starting with his bare torso as his shirt had been discarded a while ago. he gets really fucking sweaty. he is also sporting the green cargos you had picked out earlier. 

he bounces across the stage with the cutest smile, his chest dripping with sweat. the band finishes playing the outro to ‘Sick’, and everyone screams, anticipating the next song, as he grabs his guitar. 

“hey guys, so uh,” dom speaks into the mic, still regaining his breath. “we’re gonna take a lil detour from the setlist for a sec. the guys back there don’t know we’re doin’ this so…”

there is an excited, confused murmur amongst the crowd before dominic looks over to you in the left wings, and smiles even wider, before looking at the crowd. “i was havin’ a conversation earlier, and it made me think of this song i don’t think i’ve played in a minute, but yeah.” dominic grins, before looking back at you. “this one isn’t on the setlist, but its for my girl.”

the fluttery instrumental of ‘Hey Blondie’ begins from his band, and all the (real) fans cheer as soon as they recognize it. 

and so do you.

well, watch it, ‘cause you’re still workin’

do you ever get weak like monday morning, baby girl?

do you want it to end like sunday? sorry, darling

do you ever get tired like ropes and wires, baby girl?

there’s a million eyes on ya,

there’s a million eyes on ya.

FOUR HOURS LATER.

the concert had ended, and the night had faded into the super early hours of the morning, and you had been singing and dancing those very lyrics around the hotel room, dominic laughing and twirling you around.

dominic kisses you wetly on the mouth, and you both can’t help but bursting out laughing. i love yous and more soft touches were given as you and dominic stay sedentary in each other’s arms. “i- shit wait reed’s calling.” dominic says, interrupted.

“yo” reed says into the phone. “yo, uh if this is about the shoutout,” dominic starts. reed laughs on the other side. “yeah. woulda been great if we talked about it before, maybe done it next show, but what can ya do.”

dominic gulps. “sorry man, is this gonna be like, a problem though?” he questions and your eyes widen guiltily. “i mean, she’s got a cleaner rep than you, so ya’ll should be fine.”

dominic breathes a sigh of relief before hanging up. you pick up your phone for the first time in a few hours, and that shit is burning with notifications. you turn to dom and before you can speak he smiles into a teasing grin.

“should we make a vlog?”

DIVA TAGLIST. (dm/message to be on taglist. inbox always open.)