#misconception meme.

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i know what you mean !!   the whole  ‘ you are the basis upon which humans realize their humanity;  you have to be a brute  /  an evil  /  an ugliness so that the opposite may exist ’  thing.

and i think that, when John Gardner had the dragon tell Grendel that exact thing in the novel, it was intended to be taken as complete and utter bullshit.

Grendel is, in no way, the inherent  ‘ opposite ’  of a human being.

the reason human beings rejected Grendel, and continue to reject Grendel, so adamantly, is the same reason why humans hunted the gigantopithecus to extinction  –  he was too much like us for our own comfort.  

Grendel does not serve as an adverse opposition to humanity so much as he serves as a reminder of humanity’s ability to be brutal, cruel, and horrific.  we didn’t like recognizing these traits alongside traits we considered to be exclusively  ‘ human, ’   so we pushed him and abused him until he no longer felt the desire to express his own humanity.  WE are what turned Grendel into a monster.  WE are what decided he was to be defined as  ‘ opposite ’  of us  –  WE were scared of the truth.

after all; Grendel, like a good number of humans, was  ‘ born good. ’   he has a sweetness in him, a sense of empathy and higher intelligence, a sentience, a conscience, a desire to do good unto the world despite his tarnished reputation  …  and that fucking terrified us.  

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this one  –  unlike the  ‘ Gren is always angry ’  thing  –  is one i really, honestly DO NOT get.  a lot of people seem to assume it, and there’s just  …  so much fucking evidence for the contrary that i can’t.  wrap my head around it.

Grendel is very high empathy.  he FREQUENTLY endangers himself to protect others, and when Grendel is the only one hurting, he shuts his mouth.

everything Grendel does is selfless.

this man got his fucking arm ripped off defending the safety and integrity of his friends.  this man actively, at several points, puts himself in-between vulnerable people and potential threats.  this man got SHOT protecting Holly, Nerissa, and Snow.  he nearly lost his LIFE for them.

even the arguments he pitches into aren’t just to  ‘ make himself feel better ’   –  Grendel argues because he isn’t the only person who’s been mistreated by the government.  Grendel raises a fucking stink, and is outspoken about the injustices Fabletown is ripe with, because he isn’t the only one affected by them.  he watches people suffer constantly;  he’s seen  ( and experienced )  what poverty does to people;  he knows slipping through the cracks  –  e.g. Lily  –  can be fucking fatal.  

Holly’s mourning was put before his own.  his friends’ safety  &  comfort is put before his own.  he forgave the man who fucking MAIMED HIM because he just wanted JUSTICE to finally be served, and he was willing to silence his own  ( legitimate ! )  objections  &  set his own trauma aside in order to let Bigby do the right thing.

anyone who claims Gren lives selfishly just doesn’t fucking understand him at all.

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oh, THIS one pisses me off like nothing else.  it’s a good thing to touch on, though.  i think a lot of my followers probably assume this, and i get it!  i do!  but it isn’t true.

i’ll cap off by saying that i do understand why, at first glance, someone could write Grendel off as this irrationally, consistently angry guy who doesn’t know how to express any other emotion properly.  the only times we see him in the game are in the presence of Bigby Wolf  –  someone who, for all intents and purposes, is servicing a  “ justice system ”  that abuses and neglects its people, while Grendel and his friends are on the shit-slathered end of the stick  –  and in Bigby’s presence, for a long time, Grendel has every right and reason to be frustrated and uncomfortable.

even Grendel’s softer, goofier moments are only accessed after horrible tragedies, and while he’s heavily under the influence.  his way of coping with hurt is humor, and numbness, and that’s why Grendel may, as an alternative to  ‘ constant anger, ’   stand out in some peoples’ minds as  ‘ comedic relief. ’

so yeah.  i get why someone would think he’s just angry by default.  life’s treated him like shit, it continues to treat him like shit, and he has a whole fucking lot to be mad at the world about.

however.

what canon doesn’t give us very much of is the Grendel we receive in subtext.  there are a few key defining moments that tell us EXACTLY who Grendel is when he isn’t shoved into a room with people who make him feel endangered  ( Bigby Wolf ),  and I don’t think people pay attention to them enough:

Swineheart tells the player that, because Holly was weary of giving him her address, Grendel escorted her home.  Grendel, though just as injured  ( perhaps worse-so )  than Holly, and already deeply under the influence of the prescription medication he was abusing, walked his hurting friend home through the dingy, scary fucking streets of downtown N.Y.C because he didn’t want anybody giving her trouble, and knew she was more likely to get back to the bar safe if she had a scary-looking dude with her.

Beast, Toad, and Jack  –  though annoying  –  all mention holding somewhat extensive, and usually relatively friendly  /  mundane, conversations with Gren.  Grendel isn’t an unapproachable guy  –  even if you’re a downright unlikable bastard.  no matter who you are, Gren will still hear you out.  you can talk to him.  there’s no guarantee he’ll talk back, but he’ll listen.  he isn’t gonna bite somebody’s head off just for opening their mouth.  use your inside voice, try not to bug him too much when he’s in a bad mood, and you’re golden.

Grendel is the only man present at the ceremony for Lily’s funeral  –  Lawrence will be there if you saved him, but he won’t be actively involved.  those girls swarm Gren like he’s one of their own.  I have every reason to believe they feel perfectly safe and comfortable around him  –  even when he gets angry, they don’t flinch or step back.  Grendel puts himself in-between the girls and any possible threat  ( The Tweedles  /  Bigby ).  they know the  ‘ negative ’  sides of Grendel’s personality aren’t of any danger to them  –  Grendel would, and almost did, protect them with his life.

he straight-up fished for reasons to forgive Bigby and to behave as friendly and docilely as he could, regardless of whether or not Bigby ripped his fucking arm off.  Grendel’s wiki states that his primary goal in life is to achieve peace, and part of that has to do with not holding too many grudges  –  even if they were rightfully held.  ( he still holds a grudge against Woody because Woody hurt Faith, betrayed Holly, and took advantage of Lily.  Gren doesn’t care if you hurt him, but don’t you dare hurt his fucking friends. ) 

the chalkboard at the bar reads  ‘ GR ‘.  his points from playing darts are totaled up on it.  he’s pretty good in spite of his vision, which leads me to believe he’s probably a relatively playful guy.

Grendel’s a fantastic artist, with a good chunk of his art exhibited in chapter 9 of the TWAU comics.  it’s a hobby of his, along with storytelling, which seem to go hand-in-hand  –  even Bigby admits that Grendel, especially drunk Grendel, loves to tell tall tales and entertain a crowd.

speaking of stories  –  when Bigby first enters the bar in the comics, Grendel’s nose-deep in a book.  my guess is that is had something to do with philosophy, which he expresses a strong canonical interest in.

concept art and unused voice lines express that   a.)  Grendel has a heart tattoo with  ‘ MOM ’  on it on his left bicep, which Holly  ( according to the artist )  went with him to get, as he was too much of a pansy to get it alone  ( besides  –  it was probably for her ),  and   b.)  Grendel was originally supposed to be the one delivering Lily’s eulogy, not Snow.  according to The Book of Fables, troll eulogies are an ancient, sacred death tradition passed on from mother to son.

he’s a big old crybaby, especially in the Gardner novel.  he falls in love very easily, and he’s quick to empathize with people who don’t even know he exists or, worse, fucking hate him  /  want him dead.

offduty; //MASSIVE APPLAUSE. Also, under the umbrella of haytham’s upbringing, was not uncommon for upperclass gentlemen to be rather strict/harsh and blunt with their sons - rather in the way haytham was with connor. It’s a form of tough love.

send me a misconception you think people have about my character and i’ll explain if it’s true or not.

SEE THE FIRST PART OF THIS IS ACTUALLY TRUE IF YOU COME AT IT FROM A TEMPLAR POINT OF VIEW. SO FAR AS THE ORDER IS CONCERNED BY THE TIME OF UNITY HAYTHAM KENWAY WAS A DANGEROUS RADICAL WHO DIDN’T REALLY WANT TO KILL THE ASSASSINS AND INSTEAD PURSUED PEACE AND TALKED ABOUT DISGUSTING THINGS LIKE TRUCES AND ALLIANCES AND HOW THEY WEREN’T SO DIFFERENT AFTER ALL. THE ORDER WANTED TO BURN HIS WRITINGS BECAUSE THEY WERE TOO MODERATE FOR THEIR TASTES. HE WAS SO MODERATE HE WAS RADICAL. EVEN ACHILLES DAVENPORT, LEADER OF THE BROTHERHOOD THAT HAYTHAM SLAUGHTERED AND DISMANTLED WITH VIGOR, ADMITTED THAT, IF CONNOR WERE TO APPROACH HAYTHAM AND ASK ABOUT UNITING THEIR ORDERS, HE WOULD PROBABLY LISTEN. WHETHER OR NOT HE WOULD AGREE WAS ANYONE’S GUESS BUT ACHILLES -- WHO DISDAINS HAYTHAM -- ADMITTED TO CONNOR -- WHOM HE ACCUSED OF BEING TOO FANCIFUL AND FORCED TIME AND TIME AGAIN TO CONTINUE SEEKING CONFLICT WITH HIS FATHER -- THAT HAYTHAM WOULD AT LEAST SIT DOWN AND LEND AN EAR. AFTER ALL THE IMPLIED HORROR STORIES THAT PROBABLY HAD TO DO WITH HAYTHAM KENWAY EATING BABIES AND DRINKING THE BLOOD OF VIRGINS, WHEN ASKED IF HAYTHAM WOULD BE UP FOR TALK OF UNITY, HIS RESPONSE WAS, “I DON’T KNOW YOU COULD ASK HIM? IT MIGHT NOT WORK OUT BUT YOU COULD ASK HIM.”

send me a misconception you think people have about my character and i’ll explain if it’s true or not.

send me a misconception you think people have about my character and i’ll explain if it’s true or not.

I absolutely cannot agree with this. I understand why people might think that this is the case – Haytham is crass, overbearing; he makes assumptions about his relationship with Connor that have little to no grounding in reality, but that’s the thing: he assumes that they have something to go off of, which is why he says half of the things he does. Haytham is not a man quick to waste his time; he wouldn’t be half as likely to even converse with Connor if he wanted nothing to do with him.

I’ll address, firstly, the misconception that his absence for the first seventeen / eighteen years of Connor’s life meant that he wanted no part in it, because that is easy to clear up. The game is vague at best about why Haytham and Ziio split, and people are quick to say that Haytham used Ziio for sex and left, but that is not the case. Even basing ones opinion solely off of the dialogue offered in-game, Ziio consistently leans towards being the one who broke from Haytham ( discussing his ties to the Templars and her belief that he was power-hungry, which is debatable but understandable ), while Haytham consistently makes remarks about their time together ( and Adrian Hough has confirmed that his dying speech is an attempt on Haytham’s part to cover up what he is really feeling and should not be taken at face value, so his assertion that he will not “weep and wonder what might have been” is a false one ). Expanded canon ( Forsaken ) clarifies that Ziio asked Haytham to leave and that Haytham complied; it also confirms that Haytham did not know of her pregnancy, but spent her entire term in Europe hunting Jennifer and killing Birch. Haytham respected Ziio’s wish to stop seeing her and went so far as to extend that rule to the entire Colonial Rite; he ordered them off of Mohawk land despite the research that he was meant to be doing there on Precursor sites and the Temple. So if the misconception that Haytham hates Connor stems from the idea that he also hated / used / dropped Ziio, then the basis of the entire argument is factually untrue. There was a lot of respect between them, and Haytham probably loved Ziio – just as Ziio probably loved Haytham.

There is also this idea that Connor was somehow “unwanted”, but that is also crushed in canon. On more than one occasion, Haytham implies that he does want children. There are a few segments in Forsaken where he talks about wanting a son specifically, and an optional conversation with Franklin in the game where he interrupts a speech on Benjamin’s sexual exploits to ask what one should do if they desire children. I think it’s also important to note that Haytham did not marry after Ziio. I’ll get into how Haytham defies social norms of the time later, but, if he had wanted children or even just an heir to inherit what he has ( Jenny doesn’t seem to be rushing to marry and reproduces and the Kenway name means so much to him ), he could easily have married for convenience, but he refrained from doing so, possibly because it would have been unpleasant for him to consider living with anybody after Ziio. So there’s reinforced loyalty to his lover there as well as confirmation that he, at the very least, didn’t not desire children, and that he didn’t desire children that weren’t his and Ziio’s. Connor is their child, so he’s already hitting the main requirement to drawing Haytham’s attention / affection?

Now I’m going to get into his interactions with Connor himself, and I want to preface this by saying that I do not condone Haytham’s attitude towards his son, nor am I trying to place the blame on Connor; I am offering up Haytham’s point of view, which is, of course, heavily biased and not at all objective.