GRENDEL, GRENDEL, GRENDEL

this RPC is dying and I’m sick of being here.  it depresses me and kills my muses to be here.  they’re alive and well in my head, but the second I open up this godforsaken website, on Any blog, I’m just  ...  flatlining.  I’m out of it.  I’m jaded, I’m disenchanted, I’m whatever word you wanna use for this  --  I’m done.  Tumblr fucking sucks me.  it’s sucked me for a long time, now, and I’ve done everything I can to try and curate my online experience in a positive fashion, revive the RPC piece by piece, and make this place more fun for myself, but  ...  it isn’t working anymore.  every time this RPC gives me a little bit of hope, that high is dashed, either by a return in the lack of interest / activity or some jackfuck that thinks they know Anything about me and my friends.

I’m out.  peace.  bye bye.  if you love and care about your characters I suggest you consider doing the same, because while the Tumblr RPC may very well foster creativity in some people  ...  it isn’t doing it for me.  more and more I find my friends leaving and being happier for it.  migrating elsewhere.  I’m doing the same.

my storylines built with my closest friends  --  especially grendoc’s plot and the universe we’ve built around it  --  aren’t going anywhere, I promise.  they’re probably going to be repurposed into more professionally presented fanfic and posted over AO3 or, at the very least, put on Pillowfort in a more readable format  ...  if you prefer reading threads to reading fanfic, a lot of it’s already up there, so feel free to take a gander at that.

my Pillowfort is  Grendel,  my f-list is  Grendel,  my FurAffinity is  Grendoc,  my AO3 is  Grendoc,  and my discord is  grendel#4443  --  again, I am still very much active, I very much have muse, and I very much wish to develop stories and write with the people I’ve partnered and befriended on this site!  I’m not leaving the internet, I’m just navigating to other areas of it that are more receptive to the kind of work I’ve been wanting to create.  please feel free to add me, watch me, follow me, whatever  --  elsewhere.  nothing I’ve built here has to die off just because I’ve made the decision to archive my Tumblr blogs.

This message doesn’t bother me at all!  The source is John Gardner’s novel adaptation “Grendel,” wherein Grendel states outright  –  both subtly and unsubtly  –  that he does not understand finding women sexually attractive, and then ogles men  +  professes attraction to them over and over.  I probably have the novel’s PDF laying around somewhere, but Gardner’s Grendel is what TWAU Gren is based off of, and Gardner’s novel is an interpretation of Beowulf  –  plus, Telltale    ( now defunct, unfortunately )    used to share a lot of gay art of Gren and were pretty open about his sexuality on their old social media.  There are also the various flirtatious options when interacting with him in-game as Bigby during TWAU, which weren’t at all accidental.

Lmk if you need anything else.  I have the screenshot sources here, but the post is old and I could have explained things in more depth;  still, if you want the most blatant stuff:  https://grrendel.co.vu/post/176876617631/please-give-us-the-text-that-proves-gren-is-gay

Hope that helps you start!  There are a lot of queer / gay analyses of Grendel throughout various sources of media I can link you to as well, but they’re easily googled if you wanna find them yourself.  It’s commonly accepted literary canon that he’s gay, and many portrayals of him throughout the centuries have depicted him as gay, so I think it’s safe to stake the claim that  …  yeah, Grendel’s gay.  It’s not really just one thing, but again  –  there’s subtext and then there’s just Text.  The link above is Text, straight up.  He Said That.

he doesn’t even care if the outfit makes sense  --  an oversized suit to hide his skinny body in a way he thinks is classy, beaten sneakers to project an image that isn’t really his, snakeskin boots just because they’re expensive, a blazer just to make his shoulders look bigger, jewelry just to distract from his face.  even his ugly clothes  --  which he knows are ugly  --  aren’t necessarily worn because he thinks they look good, or thinks he looks good in them;  he’d just rather have someone’s shitty, judgemental focus be on the way he adorns himself, because his heart can’t take any more jabs at what’s underneath.  

gren detests himself naked, and he can’t stand to be naked around anyone besides his friends;  nudity is just nudity, but to him, it’s also trust.  grendel’s ribs show, his bones ache.  he is ashamed of the fine, narrow curve of his collarbone, and the slender neck atop.  he has been taught to be ashamed of his dark skin and curly hair, of his scars and hips and lips and claws.  he has been taught that he is ugly, time and time again, body after body, year after year.