I will, Tom Hanks, sir. I will. The Creature Commandos were introduced to the DC Comics universe in 1980, well after World War II, when comic books were at peak popularity. However, they were introduced in the classic comic book series Weird War Tales, written at the time by legendary comic book writer J. M. DeMatteis, who was inspired by the very concept of a book called "Weird War Tales." Lemme describe this series before anything else, because it's one in a long tradition of anthology series in DC Comics.

Originally launched in 1971, Weird War Tales told war stories from across history, incorporating horror story beats whenever possible. Understand, this was during the time of the tyrannical Comics Code Authority, which was meant to establish a conservative censorship in comics in response to backlash during the 1950s, thanks to a moral panic taking place at the time. Before then, comics were allowed to incorporate horror, unfettered violence, a little bit of sexuality, and all the stuff that makes stories fun to read. In other words, it created the Silver Age of Comic Books, forcing DC into the wacky, weird, and nonsensical. I mean, hell, it was so restrictive that author Marv Wolfman almost had to change his name because it was too scawy. Ridiculous.

However, when the '70s rolled around, the moral panic was coming to an end in the USA (to a certain degree), and changes to the code where made in 1971. In fact, comics were now being seen as a way to connect with the youth of America, leading to a number of stories about drugs and violence, meant to act as warnings and cautionary tales. This led to legendary stories in Marvel and DC, but also incidentally led to new opportunities for stories, including the return of horror comics. DC, formerly one of the kings of the genre (second, arguably, to the now dead EC Comics that created Tales from the Crypt), brought back multiple titles, like House of Mystery. In the process, they also created a new title: Weird War Tales.

The way these books worked, by the way, was that you would have a narrator introduce the book, maybe going through their own side story or drama at the moment, then would launch into a few stories, sometimes with a theme, and sometimes without. Said narrator was usually a creepy keeper of tales. The original Tales from the Crypt, of course, had the legendary Cryptkeeper. House of Mystery had Cain, who would be used to great acclaim and legacy by...an author who used to be prevalent on this platform, but has since been disgraced by certain allegations...and Weird War Tales, soon after it launched...had Death. And, no, not the one from that author's famous comic book series, I mean stereotypical Death.

Spoopy.

The above iteration of Death, who changes appearance issue-to-issue, is seen in Issue #93 of Weird War Tales, in which he introduces "the weirdest warriors of all": the Creature Commandos! Yup, the titular characters finally make their appearance in this post. So, let's talk about them. If you're reading this essay, you've likely seen, or at least heard of the recent animated series and its now-beloved characters, so I don't really need to introduce them. But, hey, I'm a talker, so I will anyway:

Lt. Matthew Shrieve: an intelligence agent for the U.S. Army, Shrieve is the fully-human, unaltered member of the group, acting as their liaison with the government, and commanding them on the European front of World War II. However, he's the face of the operation. The person creating these monsters is...

Dr. Mazursky (never given a first name): The brilliant biochemist who developed various methods to turn men into monsters, in order to take advantage of the archetypes within the collective unconscious to frighten the enemy off the battlefield with real monsters! Kind of. With Shireve, he leads Project M...for Monster!

Private Warren Griffith AKA Wolfpack: A kid from Oklahoma who was denied from the military, due to his psychological disorder that makes him think he's a werewolf. However, Project M offered him the ability to serve his country, and actually turn into a werewolf! Kind of! Elective surgeries and chemical treatments grant him the ability to turn into a werewolf, independent of the lunar cycle, but still uncontrolled. Hence, he takes the codename Wolfpack!

Sergeant Vincent Velcoro (or Velcro, depending on the run): A suspected spy and information leak, Velcoro is given a choice: go to prison for 30 years, or get turned into an artificial vampire. He chooses the Morbius route, and becomes...Vincent Velcoro! He never gets an actual alias in the comics.

Private Elliot "Lucky"Taylor AKA Patchwork: A Marine private in the Pacific campaign of World War II, who accidentally steps on a land mine and gets blown to bits. Doctors go Frankenstein on him for weeks, putting him back together (without vocal cords) as the monstrous-but-mute Patchwork, a real Frankenstein's monster!

Dr. Myrra Rhodes, AKA Medusa: A later addition to the group, this plastic surgeon was transformed by mistake (and a mixture of spilled mysterious chemicals - remember OSHA guidelines for a safe disposal area, kids), with her hair transforming into snakes...and that's it. Um. Yeah. Medusa? Look, even the nostalgia can't save this one, this was a dumb one, not gonna lie. A group of chemicals, random-ass, medical-grade chemicals, turned her hair into snakes? No wonder Gunn didn't use this one.

...Oh, right! I assume the joke is through at this point, and we can acknowledge that NONE of these characters make an appearance in Gunn's Creature Commandos, except kind of one in the form of Mazursky, and even then...not really. But there is one more character, which we'll get to a bit later.

But yeah, obviously, this group is completely ignored by Gunn's iteration of the team. And this isn't without precedence, because this is just the FIRST version of these characters in the comics. If you would like to see this version in other media, though, feel free to check out either the two DC Nation shorts I've posted just above (which are kid-friendly translations of the characters), or the episode "Four-Star Spectacular" from Batman: The Brave and the Bold, which features the original team in one segment. There's also a DC Showcase with the team, Sgt. Rock, but I can't find that thing ANYWHERE. So, good luck looking for that one.

Either way, adapting the original Creature Commandos wouldn't be impossible, but would be tough. To be uber-faithful, you'd have to make it a period piece, set during World War II. Which, honestly, could be very cool! At the very least, I like the idea of the Creature Commandos and Project M existing in the DC Universe during World War II, and acting as inspiration for the modern group.

Speaking of, let's talk about the modernization really quick. The original team was rebooted after Crisis on Infinite Earths, in the year 2000. This iteration of the group added three members: Aten, the mummy with healing powers; Bogman, a...kind of generic version of the Creature of the Black Lagoon, honestly; and Gunner McKay, a World War II soldier resurrected by Mazursky (who's STILL ALIVE) as a cyborg. Now led in the field by Captain Lucius Hunter, the grandson of famous Korean and Vietnam War heroes, the team operates in the modern day (2000) for Project M, fighting against supernatural threats like Tazzala and Lord Saturna and Simon Magus and what's that?

Sorry? Nobody cares, you say? Only 7 issues, you say? Almost completely forgotten, you say? So completely forgotten that DC's officially placed it in a separate part of the multiverse meant specifically for failed reboots of Pre-Crisis characters, and still, nobody cares at all, even DC, because they forgot they did that and still brought the characters back for a cameo 10 years later?

Hopefully now, you can see why Gunn opted not to use these characters for his Creature Commandos. However, that still doesn't address where each of those characters he chose DO come from. I won't go into that yet, but three major characters from the show's iteration come from the third attempt to reboot the Creature Commandos, as a part of the New 52. For those in the know, your mental "yikes" is understood. To be fair, the characters associated with the team both predate the reboot, and are also a direct product of it. And I'll make that make sense in a moment.

The way that the DC Universe was rebooted was, notoriously, Flashpoint. Flash fans and comic book fans alike know this as the tine Barry Allen travelled back in time to save his mom, only for Eobard Thawne to fuck with everything, and make the timeline reboot into a nightmare reality where Batman's dad lived and kills people, Superman landed in government custody and has never seen the sun, and a war between Themyscira and Atlantis has enveloped the entire world. Oh, and Barry's mom is alive. Yaaaaaaaaaaay.

In this new timeline, Frankenstein's Monster (yes, like the one from the novel) is revived in 1942, and works together with Myron Mazursky's Project M. He works together with Matthew Shrieve, Vincent Velcoro, Warren "Wolfpack" Griffith...and Mazursky's adopted daughter, Nina "Mermaid" Mazursky. Yeah, Nina comes from Flashpoint originally. The team, known as the Creature Commandos, fights against Nazi Germany, with the sword-wielding Frankenstein stabbing Hitler through the chest in his bunker! Oh, don't worry, I will get to the incredible character that is Frankenstein, and the ABSOLUTE BULLSHIT THAT GUNN DID TO HIM. It's honestly one of the greatest sins of this show.

Anyway, the Creature Commandos is disbanded in 1945, by which I mean they're tricked into going into a stasis chamber, and trapped there for 65 years. In the modern day, they find the remnants of Myron Mazursky's work, and find out that Matthew Shrieve tried to replace them in the modern day with Solomon Grundy, Man-Bat, and...Doctor Phosphorus. Starting to see what's happening now? Well, we aren't done yet. After the group revives, they're chased by Shrieve's granddaughter, Miranda Shrieve, who hates monsters because the new group killed her grandfather. However, they're saved by the new government organization, S.H.A.D.E., and one of their top agents: the Bride of Frankenstein.

S.H.A.D.E., headed by a body-changing mystery-man named Father Time, sends its agents and scientific freaks against metahuman threats and supernatural disasters. She tells Miranda that her grandfather was actually killed by General Sam Lane (yes, Lois Lane's dad; Flashpoint be crazy), and she joins them to fight against Lane and his new agent: G.I. Robot. After G.I. Robot is destroyed, they find out that somehow, FUCKING SOMEHOW, Myron Mazursky is still alive after 65 YEARS, and they defeat Lane and his forces, while reuniting Nina with her father. Which, after watching Gunn's series, feels...bad. It feels bad. After all of that, the Creature Commandos disbands, and we go back to the story of Flashpoint.

And THEN...we get to the New 52.

Written by Jeff Lemire (yes, THAT Jeff Lemire), this series follows Frankenstein and his wife a agents of S.H.A.D.E. in the rebooted DC Universe, with a squad consisting of, yes, Wolfpack, Velcoro, Khalis (new version of Aten the Mummy), and Nina Mazursky. And yes, in case you didn't know, the Bride DOES have four arms in the comics, and it IS cool as shit, and I'm not completely goddamn crushed that that was apparently TOO HARD TO ANIMATE. Anyway, this group lasted for 16 issues, and then just...vanished. Like many of the first 52 titles of the New 52, this was a failed series financially, and ended suddenly. DC wasn't done with Frankenstein, 'cause he's rad as shit, but they were done with the Creature Commandos.

Well...these ones, anyway. Because hey, hey, they're back! Yeah, out of NOWHERE, and seemingly completely ignoring the iteration that already existed in a New 52 world, there is now a Rebirth iteration of the team as of this year. Written by David Dastmalchian (yes, Polka Dot Man himself), the team features Vincent Velcoro, Wanda "Wolfpack" Griffith, the return of Mina "Medusa" Rhodes and Elliot "Patchwork" Taylor, led by Dr. Barbara West (new character, got something mysterious going on) and Matthew Shrieve, just as much of an asshole as he usually is in the comics, and commissioned by General Wade Eiling (notorious Justice League opponent known as the General), who's working for...Brainiac? Yeah, this series is a mystery, but we're only 4 issues in, so we'll wee how it goes!

The Creature Commandos, true to form, have never died in concept, and the characters from the original team keep getting resurrected. Which is why it's absolutely insane that Gunn's lineup comes almost entirely from an alternate universe version of the team. Take a look again, and you'll see that I'm right. The only character not introduced as a part of that group is Weasel, and he's only in Gunn's Commandos because he loves the character so much from The Suicide Squad (and to take the place as the werewolf of the group). It's just such an odd choice for this iconic team to feature...none of them. Why not apply that Gunn philosophy of changing characters and improving blank slates onto these guys? And hell, as much as most of us would hate it...you could easily kill some of them and replace them with other characters. I dunno, this seems like completely ignored potential to me. And I'll keep it in mind for my own version of the group.

Oh, almost forgot to mention this. G.I. Robot was invented in the 1950s, LONG before the Creature Commandos was even conceptualized. However, when Weird War Tales was getting written with the Commandos, who else would get pulled into that but one of the weirder characters of World War II comics, G.I. Robot? So, yes, G.I. Robot has long been considered a Creature Commando, making him a great candidate for this series. No complaints, and he was one of my favorite characters. Cheers for the Tin Man, baby.

So, now what? We've seen the history of the group, but where do we go from here? Well, obviously, Gunn put together his group, then threw them into a story. Cool, I'll do the same. The major question here is, who are my Creature Commandos? Well, as said, I have two approaches to consider: purist and creative. I can either go by the comic book team, as written with few changes to the roster, or I can come up with a new team that's inspired by the comics and the original, but with a priority being in telling a good story. Now, that said, this post is getting...long. And, to be honest, I'm still nailing down by favorite choices for the Creature Commandos. So, methinks this is a good place to pause until the next essay.

Next time, we'll look at the first episode of the series, and consider what makes a good set-up for the Creature Commandos and Project M. We'll also answer the most important question: do we really need to put Amanda Waller in here, especially because she's just straight-up not good at her job? At all? Like, a literal zero success rate, let's be honest here?

See you next time (maybe, no pressure)!

I think it's hard to deny that Amanda Waller is having a bit of a moment in DC Comics right now. This is a character that's been around since 1986, meaning she's going to have her 40th anniversary next year. And let me be clear about something right now: I adore Amanda Waller. She's always been one of my favorite characters in DC, ever since I got into this whole comic book fanboy thing. She's a no-nonsense taskmaster who cares about two things: her country and her family, in that order. The most lawful neutral character that's ever existed, with the occasional tip-over into lawful evil. And that word, occasional, is very important. Because Waller's personality has resulted in her...kinda being messed up in recent years.

Amanda Waller starts in comics in the way that most black female characters start: a single mother originally from the ghetto who clawed her way up to the top. And OK, it's incredibly overdone and mildly offensive by today's standards. And yet...I honestly think it works for every incarnation of Amanda Waller. This is an incredibly tough woman, and she has been through some shit. Doesn't matter what that shit is or was, because what matters is that she's at the top of her game now, and she's gonna stay there, no matter who she's standing on top of. And why? Because she's best for the protection of this country, and you'd damn well remember that. And she'll use anyone to get her way, no matter what happens to them, and no matter who stand in the path to victory. And because of that, she has no friends. Only subordinates, enemies, and those who are both.

Amanda's been a major player in comics for years, running Task Force X, AKA the Suicide Squad, from the lit shadows, having them do the dirty work for the USA beneath the radar. And they were good at it, because they knew they needed to be, or be killed in the process. Waller was a manipulative asshole, but she was an asshole on the side of good...probably. She ran organizations like Checkmate, Argus, and very prominently in the DC Animated Universe, Project Cadmus. I mention this because the DCAU is almost certainly the best incarnation of the character in other media. CCH Pounder's version is incredibly iconic, leading her to play the character for years. I won't spoil anything else about her, but if you haven't seen Justice League Unlimited, PLEASE FUCKING DO I BEG YOU.

Outside of this iconic iteration of the character, Waller's appeared in Young Justice as the warden of Belle Reve (playing the same role with slightly less authority than usual); in Batman: Assault on Arkham as head of the Suicide Squad once again; in Smallville as head of Checkmate (and played by Pam Grier, ooooooh); in Green Lantern, as head of the Department of Extranormal Operations (and played by Angela Bassett, OOOOOOH), in Suicide Squad: Hell to Pay as the New 52 skinny version of the character (don't ask, it was a stupid, sexist, fatphobic era for the character. Oh, and played by Vanessa Williams, ooh); and most recently in Suicide Squad: Isekai, doing this:

That show is a fucking trip, and not one I really wanna take again. Yeah, I have issues with that one too, don't ask. If you really wanna know, ask me after I get over this essay series. Anyway, like I said, she's having a moment, and understandably; she's a great character. Which is why DC Comics has been turning her into a straight-up villain over the years, which I think is a mistake. Most recently, she went full-on, straight-up supervillain, taking charge of her own government division responsible for destroying all superheroes permanently, in exchange for her own little Legion of Doom. She lost, and was thrown in a prison of her own making...which is a choice, and maybe not the best for the character. I dunno, watching Amanda lose is fun, but we all knew she'd lose the fight. You go up against the Justice League, you best not miss, is all I'm saying. And, uh...she missed. Badly.

Fact of the matter is, to paraphrase a dude playing a dude disguised as another dude, you never go full villain. That's a surefire way to lose. But OK, enough about the comics version and other adaptations; I just love Amanda, and it kinda sucks to see her mistreated in recent years. What about Gunn's version?

Let's start this (again) by saying Viola Davis is basically perfect casting, and obviously loves playing this character. She's genuinely an excellent version of the character, and one of the only things about David Ayer's film that I thought was almost perfect. Almost perfect. Waller, unfortunately, shares something with her modern comic book counterpart, in that she dips into the villainous a little too far sometimes. In the first film, she murders a room full of technicians in cold blood, no remorse. Waller's not the type to get her hands that dirty, frankly, and doing so with no qualms makes her...well, straight-up evil. "No witnesses" isn't exactly a heroic statement.

And funnily enough, that leads to the main problem I have with Davis' Amanda: she loses a lot, and makes a lot of mistakes. Amanda is one step ahead, always, even compared to powerhouses of planning like Batman. But she makes a number of mistakes in her live-action appearances that are...bad. Most egregious is Suicide Squad, where her complete lack of preparation unleashes Enchantress on the world (yeah, entirely her fault, that one, hard to unsee that). The Suicide Squad spins out of her control, but her actions in and of themselves aren't the cause of the problem. Peacemaker is similar in that way. Finally, there's her role here in Creature Commandos. While she technically doesn't make any massive mistakes, the show proves she would be very easy to fool, in multiple ways. The master manipulator is manipulated. Twice.

We'll get to Circe later, by the way, because that's an even crazier situation that I straight-up don't understand the logic of. But as for Amanda Waller. She's obviously a favorite character of James Gunn's, understandably. But does she need to be the organizer of the Creature Commandos? To be honest...I don't really see why not. But also, no, not really? She's not a horrible choice, but she's far from the only choice available. Government leaders are a dime-a-dozen in the DC Universe, and while I think giving Waller an appearance in this series isn't a bad idea, I honestly don't think she needed to be in charge of this team. More on this later. Let's raise the flag real quick.

OK, real talk here: why Rick Flag, Sr.? This is a completely arbitrary choice that makes very little sense to me? Is it because he has a connection to Rick Flag, Jr., played by Joel Kinnaman who died in The Suicide Squad? Maybe, must is that a character that people were super-devoted to? He was great in the end, and I like Kinnaman in that move for sure, but...did it have to be a character associated with him? Is it because Rick Flag Sr. has a link to the Creature Commandos? Well, no, he's got a link to the original Suicide Squad, who fought in the 1950s. Yeah, that's a whole other thing. Is it because he's hot? No, you made him hot, and sure, that was an important plot point, but any character can be hot! WHY RICK FLAG, SR.?

I guess an important question is, why NOT Rick Flag, Sr.? Well, first off, you wouldn't have to have that awkward-ass scene where he explains how he's so seemingly young, but had a son in his 30s. Plus, you also wouldn't have had a scene where a man in at least his early 50s HAS GRAPHIC SEX WITH A WOMAN IN HER 20S? KINDA WEIRD, GUNN! Granted, you didn't need that anyway, except, again, it was an actual plot point? That's...questionable, at best. Anyway, without using Rick Flag, Sr., you also wouldn't need to establish that The Suicide Squad was canon. Maybe that was the point, though. Maybe Gunn really wanted to establish that that film is canon. Real weird, though, that Shazam: Fury of the Gods and Blue Beetle weren't confirmed to be canon, despite happening after Gunn's projects. Huh. That's not nepotism at all, NOW IS IT???!??

It's also at this point I should mention John Economos, played once again by Steve Agee reprising his role from The Suicide Squad and Peacemaker. This is another blank slate character from the comics, having been the warden of Belle Reve Penitentiary that housed the member of Task Force X. Gunn and Agee's version of the character? Fine. I think Agee is fun in the role, and there's also nothing inherently wrong with this character. But again, there's no real reason to include him outside of being one of Gunn's favorites. In the show, even, there's not a lot of reason for his presence outside of comic relief, and there's already a LOT of that in the series. So, is Economos necessary? I don't think so, frankly. Plus, again, his appearance is confirmation of the events in Peacemaker, considering his broken leg, and mention of an alien invasion in episode 4.

It's at this point that you may be thinking: "Wretch, you're complaining A LOT. Don't just criticize; make constructive suggestions!" Yeah, yeah, OK, you're right. Who should be the humans in charge of the Creature Commandos? And a second question: which one? I won't go into my full planned roster(s) as of yet, but I will say this: I love the idea of the team in my hypothetical series being the modern Creature Commandos, succeeding a previous long-gone team of Commandos that fought during World War II, and possibly more. But for now, let's focus on the leaders of the modern team, sans Economos' replacement. Like I said, his role isn't entirely necessary, so let's simplify things for the time being.

Last thing, though. I don;t think Waller and Flag are inherently bad choices for leadership; I just think they come with a lot of baggage and complication, and it feels like the only reason these characters are included is to form a connection with Gunn's previous DC projects. And is that enough of a reason? Not sure that it is. Having an opportunity to build up the DC Universe further feels like more of a priority to me than having something we've already seen. Maybe this was a choice to make the series more attractive to the unaffiliated, but I'm not sure anybody's going to be brought in by specifically Amanda Waller and the father of a previous character. Just saying. Let's look for more interesting choices here.

So, as I said in the first post, I'll put up two proposals: the purist option and the creative option. The former will try to stick to the comics as closely as I can, either through homage, or through direct adaptation. The latter will examine these characters narratively, and look at who can make the most sense (for has the most fun storytelling potential) for this role. Without further ado...

The Purist Choice: The General and the Hunter

For the administrator role, if we're choosing from the comics, let's put Wade Eiling in this role. A modern choice in the comics, but also a genuinely interesting character to use here. Like Waller, Eiling is an ardent believer in putting his country first and foremost. He's also a believer in making controversial decisions in terms of soldiers. In the comics, Eiling is a part of Project Atom, which aims to turn a soldier into a nuclear-powered super-soldier, and succeeds...almost. Said soldier, Nathaniel Adam, disappears for years, after Eiling had blackmailed him into being altered for the project. He seemingly dies, and Eiling honors his memory by...marrying his wife and having children with her. Ah. Yikes. Not a great guy.

Bringing Eiling in means that we not only get the possibilities of Captain Atom in this universe (which is awesome), but also get the possibility of Eiling turning into a monster himself, as he becomes a character known as the General in the comics. The Creature Commandos could not only be Eiling's second attempt at the super-soldier game, but also would be foreshadowing for his own villainous future. Plus, in the purist spirit, this is replicated by the recent comic-book run of the Commandos. Honestly, even without that series, I think this is a good choice. We'll also assume in this universe that Eiling is inspired by the original Creature Commandos. As a general of high clearance, he'd be made aware of that group, and seek to replicate it thoroughly. And to do that, he'll need a human agent to control the Commandos in the field. So, let's stick to tradition.

Our human field commander is Miranda Shrieve, a badass monster hunter, and granddaughter of Matthew Shrieve, the original field commander of the Commandos. Not only is this tradition, which would be important to Eiling as a conservative patriot, but Shrieve is a blank slate of a character that you can do anything with. Technically, this is a version that doesn't even exist in the mainstream universe of DC Comics, so go nuts! For our purposes, we'll say that Miranda was inspired by her grandfather's legacy to join the military, and was trained as a hunter by him when she was young. An excellent tactician with a stellar record of service, she's an obvious choice for Eiling to lead his new commandos as a liaison. And, honestly, she should hate it. But again, her personality is somewhat of a blank slate, which can be modified in whatever is the best creative direction.

Having Miranda here is not only an homage to the original Commandos and the Flashpoint team, but also references the Flags. If Waller hadn't snatched him up (and perhaps if he hadn't died in The Suicide Squad, if that's canon in this universe), maybe Rick Flag, Jr. would've been in charge of this group. Instead, we throw a different legacy character in the role, and the Shrieves are in charge of the Commandos then and now. She should be played, ideally, by someone in their '30s, and portrayed as such. Race, by the way, if flexible here; just saying. Broadens the field considerably, and the same goes for Eiling.

So, out first set of options: Wade Eiling and Miranda Shrieve. We're also solidly placing this team under the purview of the military, now. Let's get into the more inspired possibilities for these roles.

The Creative Choice: The King and the Soldier

For the administrator role, let's throw King Faraday into this iteration of the DC Universe. Faraday is a classic character in DC, essentially a more hand-on Nick Fury. A spy that was young when the Cold War was old, he should be played by an actor in his '60s or so (maybe late '50s), and should be mostly no-nonsense. The Creature Commandos, in this context, is a government-approved organization with a bit more oversight than Waller's Suicide Squad, and you can even reference them in the beginning of the show and have fans question what exactly is canon, if anything. The idea of using superhuman assets, however, is a good one, and Faraday would approve of it.

I also think it's a fun idea to see Faraday interact with Waller, as two allies with somewhat opposed moralities. Waller runs her Task Force X with no regard for human life in sacrifice for a presumed greater good. Faraday also serves the greater good, but puts more value in life, human or otherwise. Also, unlike Waller, Faraday should be played as somewhat of a cool customer, more seemingly relaxed, but frighteningly competent, even in his age. Again, similar to Nick Fury. A secretly scary customer, and somewhat of a monster himself, he should be able to prove himself pretty much immediately against any threats. You come for the King, after all, you best not miss.

My inspired choice for human field commander is...definitely controversial. But hear me out, I beg of you.

John Edward Brown is a veteran of the Iraq War, having served since he was 18, and climbing the ranks to become a sergeant, and known for an excellent service in the process. Still a member of the military over a decade later, he's called back for active field service by King Faraday, who brought him in based on his reputation, and upon rumors about certain aspects of his service. Regardless of this, when Brown is brought into this group, there's a serious question as to why. Oh, and he's Black American. Vital to his character, and absolutely cannot be changed.

But over time, he proves himself as an incredibly effective field commander, who also seems to be able to access surveillance information...without performing surveillance. He's not a metahuman, magic, or otherwise psychically gifted, so there should be no reason for this, outside of the occasionally heard mutterings and whispers to himself, often tinged with frustration. But we won't find out the reason for this until close to the series finale, possibly the penultimate episode. Turns out Brown is part of a long line of military men, with the family having served in every post Civil-War conflict. However, during his service in Iraq, John became the first military man in his family...to die. Not for long, however. When John, now a sergeant in charge of an armored tank division, and his command were ambushed by the enemy, John's heart stopped for exactly 31 seconds, until being restarted by his troop. However, when he awoke, they were still under attack...only to be saved by something truly unexpected.

FOR THE LOVE OF GOD JUST HEAR ME OUT

OK. So, the ghost of a Confederate Army general, J.E.B. Stuart, is protecting the members of this armored tank troop. After the dust settles, it appears that he's protecting Jeb Stuart, a young soldier in the tank troop from Virginia, named after this famous general who died young. Everyone in the tank can see him, though, including Brown, who's understandably not pleased about having a Confederate ghost in the tank. But, he's actually incredibly valuable, if not also very intolerant and stuck in his old ways. However, Stuart does begin to get along with the group, despite their differences. Except, of course, for Brown, who's literally named after abolitionist John Brown, whom J.E.B. helped to kill during Bleeding Kansas. But still, whatever, there's a ghost on the team, he's helpful and folksy.

But then, Jeb leaves the troop. Maybe he's reassigned, maybe he's injured, doesn't matter. Jeb leaves, and J.E.B....stays. He's still here. Huh. I guess he just haunts the tank now, rather than protect a descendant, right? Well, uh...no. He's still protecting a descendant. But it turns out that the descendant was John Brown. Yeah. Oh shit.

So. Again. Hear me out. The Haunted Tank is one of my favorite forgotten DC characters, and a GHOST most certainly would fit in the Creature Commandos, not to mention a military ghost at that. But obviously...this could easily be a problem. But it's one that I think somebody like Gunn could actually work with.

The Haunted Tank actually dates back to 1961, and is one of the classic weird war characters in the DC roster. However, that ghost of J.E.B. Stuart actually did haunt a good ol' Southern boy in a tank named Jeb Stuart, who was his descendant. But then, the character disappeared after an appearance in Crisis on Infinite Earths in 1985. Vertigo Comics, an R-rated subsidiary of DC, brought the character back in 2009 in the series pictured above, starring Jamal Stuart instead of Jeb, and set in 2003, during the Iraq War. And lemme tell you...DON'T READ THIS SERIES. Holy shit, this book is offensive as shit, so if you'd rather not read a racist (and especially Islamophobic), overall offensive MESS of a 5-issue series, ignore it. It also RUINS J.E.B. Stuart as a character at the very end, and while I won't spoil it...it explains how he has a black descendant. In unpleasant detail. It's just not the most fun read in 2025 hindsight.

Again, though, I think this character would be Gunn's vibe. And even without Gunn, I think this is a character worth adding, and sets up a tank in the last episodes of the series. And really, who doesn't like a tank? I recognize that this is a crazy choice, but I also think it's an interesting one, and a good excuse to bring in a human character, especially with some of the characters I have in mind for the creative version of the Creature Commandos.

OK, this post has obviously been very long at this point, but I had a lot to say about both Waller and Flag, and needed to establish their potential replacements. Feel free to comment your thoughts, opinions, questions, etc., etc.! There are more posts to come, and the next one is going to jump forward to episode 2, The Tourmaline Necklace. Didn't really "review" episode 1, but that's coming in the future when we discuss the villains of the piece. Because lemme tell you...I have problem. Still, next time: the Frankensteins.

See you next time (maybe, no pressure)!