#minneappolis

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God,You know our foes are endlessThey are armed to the teethWith gunsnefarious policiesand hateAnd many are saying God cannot help youFor these White SupremacistsAre they not calling on the same God?But God, you are my protectionBecause, you sustain the Love Within my heartreminding me of small childrenin bunny hatsOf women in carsAnd disarmed observersAnd police officers leading Jan 7th…

The rioting we are seeing now in Minneapolis – a city I’ve loved ever since the Flapper and my two brothers adopted it as their own – isn’t just about a policeman’s knee on the throat of George Floyd. Breaking his neck, cutting off his airway, murdering him on the street in broad daylight just a few days ago. It’s about Philando Castile shot by police at a traffic stop. It’s about Amadou Diallo…

One Year in Music: Week 20

Howdy Folks, this week’s song is called

Overwhelmed

. It is a fictional account of someone who is having serious trouble falling asleep. After weeks of what she perceives as sleeplessness, in the middle of one night out of sheer desperation and exhaustion, she makes a deal with the devil: her soul in exchange for some sleep. Next thing she knows, she wakes up well rested. Now she sleeps peacefully each night, but she can no longer distinguish between the dreamworld and when she is “awake”. She is caught forever in a subconscious like state. This song was inspired by a night of tossing and turning. Restless leg syndrome, too hot, can’t get comfortable, minutes turn to hours, all of a sudden your alarm clock goes off and you swear you never caught a wink. You must’ve slept a little. Right? I am fascinated by the times when we can’t determine whether we are dreaming or awake. Once again we come to perception vs. reality. Does it really matter if you slept 6 hours if you felt like you slept 0? Unless you are doing a sleep study, you won’t really know the difference.

When I started writing this song I started singing it from the first person perspective but when I was singing, “I sold my soul to the devil, so I could sleep at night” I felt a little uncomfortable that I might summon Lucifer by accident. Changing the perspective frees up more emotions. I think people’s natural assumption when they hear a song is that it is a firsthand account. Often times it is, that’s the point, to be vulnerable and share your truth. But sometimes, you get tired of sharing your truth, or your truth doesn't really feel that interesting at the moment. Ditching the first person point of view, opens up a judgment free world of possibilities. 

One thing I think everyone can relate to is a restless night. The first half an hour of tossing and turning isn’t so bad, but once you acknowledge you aren’t able to fall asleep it slowly manifest into a self-fulfilling prophecy. The harder you try to fall asleep, the harder it gets. I feel like all of your senes become more acute and you notice the most minor discomforts of temperature and sound. You being to obsess over how long it is taking you to fall asleep, and how tired your going to be in the morning. Soon you are overwhelmed and you could see how someone could make a deal with the devil. 

The last lines of the song I repeat, it’s you and no one else. Even if you are sharing a bed with a loved one, if it’s you who is unable to fall asleep it is such an isolating feeling. It feels like the whole world is sleeping peacefully and you are the only one still awake. It’s you, an no one else...

Process: I wrote this song over winter break this year. I was out of my studio and all I had was my small midi-keyboard. I started messing with a bunch of new synths and found some fun sounds. At this same time I was listening to a lot of Trent Reznor and early Nine Inch Nails. I had never really gotten into NIN before, and I was blown away that Pretty Hate Machine came out in 1989. For the Chorus I was really trying to blend industrial synths and guitar to make things rock extra hard. Did it work???

Lyrics: Well I confess to say It's kind of hard to miss if you never go away It's kind of hard to kiss if you never ever stay right by my side She sold her soul to the devil so she could sleep at a night Now she gets 8 hours or more but still she don't feel right Oh nevermore, she can't make it right oh never more

Why are you so overwhelmed Why it’s you and no one else Why are you overwhelmed It’s you and no one else Why could I confess I never get replies to my home address I never get denied when I repress my ancient light of nevermore  My ancient light Oh nevermore She sold her soul to the devil so she could sleep at a night Now she's lying in the middle both her after lives Oh never more, Both after lives, forever born Why are you so overwhelmed Why it’s you and no one else Why are you overwhelmed It’s you and no one else Oh I confess to say I haven't been this high since second grade I haven't seen a light shine down on me Long lost goodbyes forevermore  She sold her soul to the devil so she could sleep at a night Now her dreams are nothing more than just a tunnel light Forever more, she'll never reach that light, forever more Why are you so overwhelmed Why it’s you and no one else Why are you overwhelmed It’s you and no one else