#minmaxspeech

///Hey guys! This is a short little story written by my friend @maxminspeech for Ebony in the Borderlands AU! I hope you like it. They posted it to their Ao3 and you should go support them!

But yeah, here's the story!///

It was surprising to few that Moxxi’s dream of recreating her prized Underdome wound up becoming true. The woman was the perfect combination of driven, intelligent, and patient to ensure that any goals she held could be easily reached. Somehow, even without her greatest passion-project, the bartender managed to continue to work on designing custom weapons, maintaining her many Circles of Slaughter, and her dozens of other smaller enterprises, all from the comfort of the Sanctuary III. To say that Moxxi’s skills are rivalled by few would be a dramatic understatement. 

Moxxi had finally recreated her Underdome, however. The Handsome Jackpot, once a Hyperion casino, had been completely renovated and redesigned. Moxxi had made her mark on the space station she now owned, quickly turning it into possibly the single greatest combat arena that the galaxy had ever seen. She even had an unlimited supply of things to kill within the arena, thanks to the Handsome Jackass’ advanced digistruct stations allowing her to create any lunatic, loader, or lethal beast. 

It had been two years since the deaths of Troy and Tyreen Calypso. The galaxy was in a state that was as close to peace as one could reach. The CoV was more of an annoyance than a danger now, and Vault Hunters found themselves with a lack of work. Moxxi was happy to reveal to them that they would have the first chance to enter her new Underdome. Many of them jumped at the chance to partake in an entirely new mass-murder. Of course, with the technology that Moxxi had stolen from Jack, she had made her pride and joy far, far more difficult than the old arena that Mordecai had cleared out in the last.

“Only two remain!” Ebony heard Moxxi scream into her megaphone, a smile flickering across the gigantic cat-woman’s features. coated across her body, the viscous fluid clinging to her skin and hair. Quickly slamming a new magazine into her assault rifle, the Faunus surveyed the arena, waiting to see what in the hell could face her as her final challenge. Surprisingly, Ebony felt completely comfortable in her situation. No matter what monstrosity served as her final challenge, the feline woman knew it would stand no chance. The mangled corpses of fanatics, loaders, and wildlife at Ebony’s feet was proof enough of her skill with her chosen weapons.

Ebony held her assault rifle in one hand, electrical energy bristling throughout the weapon, as she drew an intricately-stylised revolver from its holster on her belt. The sound of the arena being steadily destroyed by… something came to Ebony’s sensitive ears. The sound of creaking, mechanical joints was barely audible even to Ebony. So, she quickly deduced, whatever was coming was a robot. She doubted it could be something as simple as a gigantic loader- although the various robots named for planetoids proved Hyperion’s affection for the fuckers.

Suddenly, the wall directly in front of Ebony exploded, fire and debris cascading over the gigantic Faunus. Her shield flared, barely managing to hold back against the wave of heat and rock crashing down over her. Instincts kicked in, and Ebony hefted both of her weapons, firing directly at the gigantic machine’s face. Forcing its way into the already-damaged house Ebony had been using as a kill zone, the cat-woman recognised exactly what she was facing.

A gigantic android, with the likeness of Handsome Jack himself stamped all over it.

“Can the delightful lady Reznor handle the might of the Jackpot?” Ebony heard Moxxi scream into her megaphone, riling up an already-hot crowd. Ebony didn’t focus on the woman running the arena for the moment, however. She had a much, much bigger priority than an impossibly attractive bartender. For the moment, at least.

Ebony dove out of the way as the floor- and part of the wall behind her- exploded, destroyed by a projectile of some sort fired from the huge jackass’ hand. Ebony’s bullets barely dented against the thick metal plate of the android’s body. Sprinting away, Ebony witnessed the Jackpot rising to its feet properly, destroying the rest of the house she had used with almost-impressive ease. Ebony quickly slammed a fresh magazine into her assault rifle, firing accurate bursts of bullets at the head of the huge robot. 

The Jackpot dwarfed even Ebony, the robot standing at almost fifteen feet in height, of the Faunus had to estimate. Ebony’s bullets ricocheted off of the armoured body of the android, denting and damaging it all the while however. Unfortunately, the 8-foot tall Faunus realised with a sudden shock of fear, that she would in no way be able to kill the Jackpot with bug-bites. Discarding her magazine, Ebony barely dodged another of the Jackpot’s energy blasts, her shield finally collapsing. Retrieving the final magazine for her rifle, Ebony slid it home, and once more drew her Unforgiven, firing the heavy rounds from her revolver at the android at the same time as she did unload upon it with her rifle.

The Jackpot didn’t waver as it stormed towards the Faunus, each stomp of its gigantic feet causing the ground to shake under Ebony. The final bullet from Ebony’s rifle struck the eye of the Jackpot mere seconds before it was on top of the Vault Hunter. One of its huge, metallic hands flew to its eye. Ebony doubted it was in pain- if the machine didn’t have self-repair protocols installed, she would be utterly floored. Still, it was the best chance she had.

Sprinting along the debris and gore-coated ground, Ebony activated her Archangel ability. Wings sprouted from her shoulder blades, as her musculature strengthened beneath her clothing and skin. Both her revolver and rifle disappeared, absorbed back into her ECHO device. The Jackpot moved its hand away from its eye- a new one secure in the shattered iris’ place. The gigantic mech raised one boulder-sized fist, prepared to crush the Vault Hunter insane enough to get close. Of course, it didn’t realise that Ebony’s punch was faster.

The cat woman’s fist slammed into the Jackpot’s knee, forcing the metals out of place, jamming the mechanisms within. The humongous android didn’t collapse, however, and the Faunus didn’t relent. Another blow struck. And another. And another. The fifth blow was the magic one, and with a blow more powerful than all the others, Ebony’s fist tore all the way through the mechanical Jack’s knee. Wrenching her arm free, Ebony’s hands closed around the Jackpot’s ankle, ripping its leg off in one smooth movement.

Throwing the limb away like the crushed body of a psycho, Ebony let out a quiet laugh as she saw the Jackpot fall to one knee, unable to rise to its sole foot, unable to repair itself. Ebony’s wings spread out, and the Faunus launched herself high, meeting eye-level with the Jackpot for the first time.

“Hi.” Ebony smirked, pulling her fist back, and driving it forward. 

“EBONY REZNOR WINS!” Moxxi screamed through her megaphone as the dented and shattered head of the Jackpot was launched across the arena’s scarred floor. The gore-covered Faunus afforded herself a quiet laugh, basking in the adoring crowd of men and women, all seeking a good showing of mass-murder. And by the two brothers, Ebony had given them exactly what they wanted. An idea sprouted in Ebony's mind. The gigantic Faunus gave a theatrical bow, a smirk easily visible upon her features. 

After minutes of enjoying the adoring people, the Faunus had decided to go and clean and change her attire- as much as she enjoyed a good fight, she didn’t enjoy the mess that accompanied it. Shockingly, Spiderant webbing, Goliath brains, and bits of exploded Constructors weren’t as comfortable to wear as a simple shirt and trousers. After a long and enjoyable shower, Ebony quickly dressed herself in a tank-top and joggers, the first clothes to hand while her preferred attire cleaned. 

Stepping out of the Underdome’s sole changing room, Ebony still had a towel wrapped around her shoulders, and a smile still glowed upon her features. Bruises were beginning to blossom upon the cat-woman’s pale skin, and some of the cuts she had earned were only just stopping stinging, but the Faunus felt amazing! She’d just won the Underdome! 

“Hey there, sugar…” An incredibly familiar voice spoke out. Ebony spun around, and saw Moxxi. The shorter woman was wearing her usual, utterly stunning attire, her makeup perfectly drawn upon her skin. Ebony was far from stupid- she knew she was crushing on the genius, beautiful sadist. 

“Hello, Moxxi!” Ebony’s smile only grew, a bright, shining beacon of happiness on a body that looked as bad as it felt. Ebony would be hurting for weeks from this. Not that she cared. The cat-woman felt strangely comfortable around Moxxi, normally she’d need to spend a long time with people to be this relaxed and happy while talking with them, but Moxxi simply made Ebony happy with her mere presence. The Faunus chalked it up to her crush on the bartender as the reason.

“You performed wonderfully in the Underdome, I wanted to see the champion for myself…” Moxxi almost purred out. Her eyes raked over the taller, more muscular faunus’ form, lingering on a variety of different places upon her body, especially her chest and crotch. Ebony was surprised to realise she didn’t truly mind. Hell, if Moxxi liked what she saw, that was an honour, in her mind.

The small smile that shone on Moxxi’s features like the brightest lighthouse in the middle of a fog-covered sea gave Ebony hope.

“I’m here for as long as you need me, Moxxi.” Ebony grinned, standing at her full, enormous height. She was over two-feet taller than Moxxi, towering over the woman she crushed on so greatly. 

“Well, I may just take advantage of that offer, if it’s standing for tonight…” Moxxi growled out, her features shifting to a seductive smirk that Ebony had seen many times on posters and ECHO-casts. 

It was so much better to see in person.

“It definitely is, don’t worry.” Ebony spoke out, a blush of bright crimson painted across her pale cheeks. 

“Hm… I was going to offer you a lot of guns for winning the Underdome, but I have a different prize in mind. Ebony, would you mind coming with me tonight for a drink?” Moxxi smiled warmly. Ebony’s eyes widened. Mad Moxxi was asking her on a date?!? She had not only caught the attention of the most beautiful woman in the galaxy, but said woman wished to go out with her?

“Yes!” Ebony spoke, joy evident in her tone, “Of course!” 

“Then I’d get yourself sorted, sugar. We’re gonna have a long, wonderful night together… hopefully many, if you’re kind enough to stay as cute as you are now.” Ebony didn’t know how to respond, and thankfully didn’t have to, for the buxom bartender swaggered off, emphasising the sway of her hips with every step.