Hi, friends! Today I'm going to give you a mini recap/review of It! No, not *that* one! It! aka Curse of the Golem, is a 1967 movie starring Roddy McDowall.
Well. I say it's *a* movie. It's really about three movies smashed together.
The first movie is: Screenwriter saw Psycho and said, "Hey, I can do that!" Much like Norman Bates, Roddy lives with dear old Mummy's mummified corpse, just chilling in her rocking chair in the apartment. He "borrows" priceless jewels from the museum where he works as assistant curator for Mummy Dearest to wear. This whole Mother Dead and Dearest storyline is baffling and adds nothing to the story (you could remove it and it wouldn't change the plot at all), but there's something morbidly charming about it. The man loves his mom, all right? Even if she *is* a moldering corpse! It's sweet! Not creepy at all! Stop looking at me like that!
Movie the Second is our main plot: the golem. Roddy and his boss at the museum find this "statue" (actually the Golem of Prague) in a still-smoldering burned out museum warehouse. The golem, by the way, looks like a rude houseguest who sneaked into my medicine cabinet and smeared my expensive clay face mask on himself from head-to-toe while clothed in a bathrobe. It does *not* look like a stone statue, as the characters in this movie keep trying to convince us it is, but it's cool. There were clearly budget constraints.
The Golem kills Roddy's boss for . . . reasons, I guess? *shrug* It gets taken to the museum Roddy works at, where he finds out that Curator is not a position you get to inherit when a creature from Jewish folklore murders your boss. Bummer. At the museum, we also meet Dead Boss's daughter, whom Roddy is in love with, but she's put him so far into the friendzone that it's forcing me to use the term "friendzone," which I despise.
Eventually Roddy figures out this "statue" is a Golem, (with some help from American Jim, who works for a museum in NYC), and figures out how to control it and make it do his bidding. Namely, killing his new boss in the hope that *this* time he will inherit the curator position; and having it collapse a bridge to impress the Love Interest girl. Not sure why he thinks killing multiple innocent people in a bridge collapse would be a welcome declaration of love, but okay. By this time, Roddy had already inadvertently pushed Love Interest Girl and American Jim together, practically lighting the candles and turning down the bedsheets for them, so . . . good luck.
Roddy finally has his "I've made a huge mistake" moment upon being reminded that the Golem will run amok if used for evil (this wasn't new information; I guess he just has a really bad memory), and thus spends several attempts trying to destroy it. Despite being told it can't be destroyed by fire, water, force, or anything man-made. Our Roddy sends it into the sea (it comes back to the museum immediately after), then sets it on fire. Did . . . did you forget how you found it? IT DOESN'T BURN, GENIUS! Also, somewhere along the way, he commanded the Golem to swallow the scroll that brings it to life. Why? *shrug* Because, that's why!
Which brings us to Movie the Third: In which American Jim has somehow convinced the police that the Golem is murdering people and destroying bridges at Roddy's behest. Literally no one seems to think this is out of the ordinary. Roddy is carted off to an asylum, where he escapes, steals a hearse and dear old Mother's body, kidnaps Love Interest Girl (who has really cute hair, btw) with the Golem's help, and fucks off to the countryside to hide out in "the cloisters," which apparently have something to do with the museum. The military surround the place; the Golem throws the Cloisters Woman off the roof; the military and police dudes decide to drop a nuclear bomb on the building. But don't worry; it's "just a small warhead," I'm sure it's fine. Love Interest Girl runs out of the cloisters; with two minutes until the bomb drops, American Jim manages to steal a motorcycle and rescue her, getting to a safe distance before the bomb drops. The building is demolished, Roddy is presumably dead, and the Golem . . . casually strolls out of the dust and wreckage and fucks off into the sea. Roll credits.
I ended this movie not quite sure what I had just watched. The writing is a mess; the backstory with Dead Mom is nonexistent; it feels like there are at least a couple of scenes missing; and then it just . . . ends. However. HOWEVER. I think I might love this movie. I know, I know, what even IS my taste in trash movies? There's something charming in what a mess this movie is, and I love a beautiful disaster, what can I say?
