#millierose

Always watching. #ameliarose #millierose #nosyneighbor https://www.instagram.com/p/CIeMYYkhpVGOkwQnM-JBb192n9cPpBNHN7lTAM0/?igshid=1augn6r7d0qwq

I had a terrible day yesterday, remembering that it was our first Thanksgiving without Jack. I cried all the way home & then some. When we got home, i laid down, so Justin & Millie came to lay down with me while i was sad. This is how we fell asleep, with Jack's ashes & collar on the bed between us. I love my family so much. I have such wonderful friends & family, but these are the top members of my fan club. They keep me together, & they know how to support me when i fall apart. For me, Thanksgiving happens 24/7. Miss you, Jackie. #anpanjackson #millierose #mamakittybooboo #jammyelisabethpie #samson #TL https://www.instagram.com/p/CIG7Lg-hGqqaOcRY7SGirz8RRLPZoRj2eLHYWs0/?igshid=md5gh1cy5za3

So, Millie's been with us 2 days shy of 2 months, & she's been doing great...until last night. It was late, she was on the couch with me (on my left) while i played video games, waiting to get tired after taking my meds. Y'all know how it is. Jammy was on my right & went to step down from the arm of couch to the seat of the couch, presumably coming towards us. All of a sudden, out of nowhere, & COMPLETELY unprompted, Millie growls, lunging across me & snapping at Jam. I grab her, stopping her, & start SCREAMING for Justin. He runs in, & Millie just stays wagging her tail, like "oh, hey! You're up!" I told him just to take her & put her up, so he takes her outside to potty, then puts her in her crate. I immediately text the trainer, & I'm like "look, here's what happened..." He immediately texts me back & says "ok, that's just a pecking order thing that we can easily solve tomorrow. Just put her up, & we'll handle it tomorrow." She's been in her crate most of the morning, but now we're sitting outside playing. She's been playing this game with Sammy, where he hides under the lawnmower tarp, so she goes to investigate, & he slaps the shit out of her. It's like the rest of the time, she's fine with them. But now, she will not be out of our supervision for a very, very long time. Jack was able to wander around, playing & coexisting with the kitties, & i always appreciated that. I keep having to remind myself that she's not Jack, & that's difficult for me. Jack was my first real dog-by-myself, so he's really all i have to go on. I've already been having a really bad time about him lately. I had a complete & total meltdown a couple of days ago, finally getting to fucking scream & cry, like I've wanted to do since his stroke. And i will be doing it again, because it felt so good to finally cry it out & be outwardly angry about it. Then this happens, & it just reinforces those feelings of missing my sweet, kind, timid, afraid of bees Brown boy. So, that's been my last 2 or 3 days, & that's not even including the shit happening at work. I'm trying with Millie. We all are. It's just a new life. Is 2020 over yet? #millierose https://www.instagram.com/p/CCygWILjmaMXoneKmV34u22SkQTFadlddWQq2w0/?igshid=7zhecwx0v01z

I look like a total dingus when i run with Millie in the yard. I run, just barely, gasping for breath, praying the next step won't take me to the ground & break my hip...as she joyously runs circles around me. I'm glad most people don't get to witness that. 😐 I need to get her involved with the swimming program at 280 Animal Medical Center in Westover. This girl has energy i couldn't have matched in my twenties. #millierose #milliemillie https://www.instagram.com/p/CCeNOJ5hUN2aBwvBXhAhUlEUHfiYF1yf2vz_Kw0/?igshid=11lldgswv6ucn

Ball. Here. Throw. #millierose https://www.instagram.com/p/CB6NRgChYkY7TRAS_Ae50Lo2T1rSpcHt21Honw0/?igshid=1x0h04hm39469