#miles things

Jasmine: What’s one thing your character wants?

Miles is a really simple man. He doesn't want things on a grand scale. Right how he's kinda hungry and wouldn't mind a sandwich and a beer. Or a handjob. He'd kinda like a handjob.

Acorn: What would your character do if they lived forever?

Honestly? If MIles lived forever he really wouldn't do anything different. He'd still go to shows and kick it with Josh. HIs wardrobe would never update and he'd probably still own a RAZR phone and a Walkman 700000000 years into the future.

Love-lies-bleeding: Has your character ever done something even though they didn’t want to?

It was half past midnight when Maxine had made her way to the Astronomy Tower with a bottle of Firewhiskey in her hand. She was settled by the balcony where she had her legs swinging over the edge, and her eyes searched the dark skies for constellations she knew. Her head was pounding like a drum but she refused to retreat back to her dormitory to get some well-needed sleep. She had been awake for the past seven nights, only sleeping when her free periods came around. Her insomnia slowly ate away all her energy, but each day Maxine showed up to her classes with a bright smile, despite how much she wanted to turn away and cry till her eyes turned into the most furious shade of red.

I’m such an idiot. Such a stupid idiot.

Lately, her mind had constantly been on Miles, even more than it had before. Last time she spoke to him was several weeks ago and on that day she spoke that harshest of words to him. She’d spat out lies, and took out the anger she had been keeping to herself and unleashed it all on the one person that didn’t deserve it most of all. She spoke words that destroyed Miles’ self-esteem. She told him that he was pathetic and worthless and everything that he truly wasn’t. Only Maxine knew that the words she had spat out at Miles, were in fact words that she had been telling herself the past few months. It wasn’t Miles who was worthless, it was herself. But, it was too late to explain. Too late for apologies. Too late to be forgiven. She had lost her second chance at living a happier life to the careless actions she made, and she hated herself so much for it.

Fuck. I’m such a mess. This wasn’t how my life wasn’t meant to turn out.

Life would’ve been so much easier if she had been sorted into Hufflepuff. She would’ve acted like how she was really inside. She would’ve made friends that weren’t intimidated by her. She would’ve grown closer to Miles. She would’ve been different. So, so different. There wouldn’t have been a reason to hide. There wouldn’t have been a reason to keep everything a secret. There wouldn’t have been a reason to keep all her real emotions tucked away in a corner that only she could find.

He hates me. He absolutely hates me. And, I hate myself too. I absolutely hate myself too.

She always imagined what life would’ve been like if she grown up with Miles. She secretly hoped that the moment Miles had graduated, they would’ve travelled all over the world. They would travel to places where they didn’t have to hide. They would’ve seen the world together. They would’ve kissed in front of millions of people without a care in the world. They would’ve made memories that only they could create. They would’ve been happy to share their love and be happy together. But, those dreams would never happen. They all might as well been burnt to ashes because there was no chance that they would ever rise in her lifetime.

I chose being stupid rather than to be happy. Merlin, I’m such a fuck up.

She messed up, she knew that. She reminded herself about it every single night and every single morning. Miles never left her mind and she doubted he ever would. But, every night she would down bottles upon bottles of whiskey in attempt to at least forget him for a few hours. It worked, yes. But, the next day her memories always grew stronger.

I think I was born a fuck up. Can’t do anything right. Slytherin. Miles. Everything. Fuck.

Tears began to stream down her face as she watched the sun begin to rise. She had been sitting so still, thinking about Miles the entire time that she had lost track of the time. She was creating a picture of Miles in her head because she never wanted to let go of his face. His eyes. His smile. His nose. His lips. She couldn’t forget. She wouldn’t allow herself to. Because if she forgot even the tiniest detail, she knew she’d go insane. She’d kill to hear his voice again or to inhale his comforting scent. But, she never saw him around anymore. Not in the Great Hall. Not in the hallways. Never. And she doubted she ever would.