#miky

Taking your phone out, you call one of the top contacts in your phone, only having to wait for a few seconds before the other side picks up. “What do you need, boss?”

“Make sure to send someone to retrieve the body inside the building. Bring it to the Shibuya hideout.”

“Got it.”

Walking by the sidewalk, you try your best to maneuver around the crowd, not in the mood to be brushing shoulders with a bunch of strangers, not when your body’s aching all over from running around town all day. From working a shift in a cafe then quickly having to freshen up and play at some fancy party. Your feet ache from not having your bike to ride all day.

“How am I even allowed to work when I’m just 13?” You question yourself, hands stuffed in your jacket pocket as you make your way to Shinichiro’s bike shop, hoping that your bike will be fixed by now, you don’t think you have the energy to walk to the hospital right now. Looking up, you see that all the lights inside the bike shop are off but you just take it as a sign to use the back door. Taking the spare key from your wallet, you insert it and open the door, not forgetting to lock it once more after you’ve entered the shop.

“Shinichi-nii, are you here?” Calling for the dark-haired male, you look through the small storage room first, taking a bottle of water from the small fridge before heading your way to where Shinichiro usually stays to work on bikes. Spotting the male, you wave your hand in greeting as you see him look up from tinkering with the bike, a cigarette in between his lips. “All alone tonight?” Sitting yourself down beside him, you look over at what he’s doing, but after a few seconds of blankly staring at random pieces of the bike, not knowing what they all mean or do, you give up and take your phone out.

“Nah, Mikey and the others are on their way here, said that they’ll be waiting for you here, turns out you got here first.” Taking the cigarette from his lips, he taps it on the side where an ashtray awaits him. Putting the cigarette back, he nods towards your bike which is placed on the corner of the shop. “I just finished fixing it, should be good to use by now. Just had to clean off some of the rust and replace some old parts.”

Muttering your thanks, you stand up and make your way to your dad’s old bike, looking it over and noticing some new parts here and there. “Y’know, you don’t have to work all those jobs if it’s that difficult for you. I can hire you here, I pay big, y’know?”

Facing the male, you scrunch your face. “I don’t know a single thing about bikes. I only know how to ride them, but ask me what this does and I’ll come up blank.” You say, pointing at a random part of the bike.

“Well, you can just clean around and stuff, hand me tools and all that.”

“So you’re basically giving me free money.”

Chuckling, Shinichiro shrugs. “Well, it’s better than having to work yourself to the bone. Did your mother start asking you for money?” He asks, remembering how your father had started taking more medicine the past month, his state worsening.

Shaking your head, you make your way to him once more, taking the seat beside him as you look through your phone. “Nah, but the electricity keeps getting cut off and my brother sometimes doesn’t have money for school so I gotta give him some of mine, y’know? Don’t want him to feel like he has to be all responsible for money and shit.”

Sighing, Shinichiro gives you a look. “And you also don’t need to be responsible for things like that. You’re 13, barely a teenager. How’d you even get yourself a job? Why not ask your older sisters for help? They have a job, right?” He gives you a pointed look which you avoid.

“They’re already helping with the medical bill, they send over food and school supplies too. I also use my sisters’ old dresses for when I need to play the piano in some of the parties.” You mutter.

“Well, I thi-”

“Hey, Y/N, guess what! Shinichiro just got dumped earlier, it’s his 13th time.” Suddenly, the door bursts open, Mikey, Emma, Baji and Draken entering, the first two holding two plastic bags filled with snacks.

Taking this as an opportunity to change the subject, you turn to Shinichiro, a teasing grin quickly plastered onto your face as you make an ‘o’ with your mouth. “Is that so? Aren’t you worried, Shinichi-nii?” Wiggling your brows, you head over to the others, looking through the plastic bag as you take out some bread. Your stomach grumbling from only having some appetizers at the party.

Knowing that you’re already over your previous conversation with him, Shinichiro just goes along with your antics. “Worried about what?”

“Y’know, it’s your 13th rejection, don’t you think that that alone is bad luck? Shouldn’t you quickly get rejected again just so that it wouldn’t be in the number 13 anymore?” Your question makes Mikey and Baji stare at you in amazement, their eyes lighting up as they process what you said while Draken and Emma only roll their eyes, pretending to not hear what you said.

Scoffing at your words, Shinichiro goes back to tinkering with the bike, cigarette wobbling as he speaks. “You’re quite hurtful with your words, did you know that?”

“Trust me, she knows. She practices her hurtful words when we’re alone.” Mikey says, happy to speak up for you as he lets you take a bite out of his own snack.

“Yeah, sometimes, I can hear her mutter some insults under her breath before asking me what I think about them.” Baji adds, taking a seat by the counter.

“You should still listen to what I said though. It’s not like you’re gonna lose anything, better safe than sorry, right?” You urge, waving your phone in front of your face. “You can just call one of my sisters, quickly ask them out on a date and then I’m pretty sure that they’re gonna reject you.”

You hear Emma hum in agreement, finally deciding to side with you in teasing her brother.

It takes a few more encouragement from your friends before Shinichiro finally gives in. “I really don’t know why I even listen to anything you say when it only leads to my ego dying.” Taking his phone out, he looks through his contacts, searching for one of your sister's phone number.

Letting out a heavy sigh, he presses the call button, eyes slightly shaking, hoping that your sister won’t pick up just so that he can spare himself the embarrassment. But alas, just as he thinks that the call is gonna drop, your sister answers. Gulping, he presses the loudspeaker button after the others started walking nearer in order to hear what’s about to happen.

“Hey, uhm, are you busy?”

Shuffling can be heard from the other side before your sister answers. “No, not really. Why, is there something you need? Are my siblings okay?” Sending you a look as you start laughing to yourself, Shinichiro shakes his head.

“No, it’s just, uhm... would you like to go on a date?” Shinichiro asks, the last part sounding way too uneasy for it to be not funny.

Silence greets him on the other line. Shinichiro starts to apologize but he gets cut off. “You do know that I’m married, right?” That makes the five of you laugh, Emma and Draken trying their best to hide their laughter while you, Mikey and Baji start hysterically laughing at the look on Shinichiro’s face. Mikey leaning his body onto yours as he starts leaning back from how hard he’s laughing at his brother’s demise.

“I know, I just, I need you to reject me, please. Just do it now.”

Your sister laughs from the other side, words getting cut off from her laughter. “Did my sister tell you to do this? Is that it?”

Making a sound of agreement, you hear your sister laugh again. “Okay, okay, but can you ask the question again?”

You can see the way Shinichiro’s skin is starting to redden, the sweat on his temple quickly running down his cheek and onto the floor as he takes a deep breath, “Do you mind going on a date with me, L/N-san?”

“I’m sorry Sano-san, but I’m happily married and have a kid. I hope that this won’t change our friendship.” You can almost hear the teasing lilt in your sister’s voice as she bids her goodbye to Shinichiro, the call ending soon after that. The embarrassed male quickly stuffs the phone in his pocket, face making contact with his arms as he covers them, hoping that that will be enough to block off the laughter coming from the five of you.

It takes a few more seconds for the laughter to die down and for Baji to break the silence.

“By the way, was this the flower that you were gonna give the girl from earlier?” Holding up a beautiful bouquet of sunflowers, Baji hands them to you as he notices your wide eyes.

Taking the flower from him, you smell the petals, a faint scent emitting from them. “Can I have them?” You ask out of the blue, making the rest of them look at you in curiosity.

“Sure, I guess. I didn’t know that you liked flowers.” Shinichiro remarks, now standing up from his seat on the floor and taking the water bottle that you were drinking from earlier, taking big gulps before throwing it in the trash can.

Shaking your head, you wipe your hands clean on your pants, putting the snacks that you got in an empty plastic bag before making your way to your bike, the bouquet of flowers in your hand. “It’s not for me, it’s for papa. Mama said that he likes flowers. Even said that when they go on dates, mama usually gets papa flowers.” You giggle, remembering the laughter coming from your dad whenever your mum would tease him about being more feminine than her. You see them let out a smile as they try to imagine your dad, a tall man with a somewhat burly build just accepting a bouquet of flowers from your dainty and much shorter mum. “Well, I gotta go, still need to visit papa at the hospital and bring mama food.”

Waving them goodbye, you walk your bike out the back door, Mikey following you. “Want me to come with you?”

“Sure, you wanna sleep over at our house?”

Humming in agreement, you hand him a helmet along with the bouquet. Accepting the items, he jogs inside the shop, telling Shinichiro where he’s going before sitting behind you, arms carefully wrapping around your waist with the bouquet safely pressed onto your stomach.

Riding your bike back to your house you quickly got off in order to take the packed dinner that you brother made for your mum, your brother waiting for you in the living room while your grandparents sleep in the extra room upstairs. “You should sleep after, still have school tomorrow, right?” You hear Mikey tell your brother while petting the two dogs. Your brother nods and soon after, Mikey closes the door behind him, hopping onto your bike.

It takes 20 minutes but soon enough, you’re now making your way to your dad’s room where he’s going to be staying for 3 days in order to recover from his leg surgery.

Apparently, the wound on his calf started getting bigger and infected since it wouldn’t heal on its own due to him having Diabetes, at least, that’s what you heard from when your mother was explaining it to one of your sisters through the phone.

Knocking on the door, you peek your head through the door, looking around to see if it’s safe to go inside. Deeming it safe, you usher Mikey inside, silently closing the door behind you. Making your way to your dad’s bed, you silently grete him, minding the other sleeping patients.

Setting the food down, you finally show your dad the bouquet of flowers, his smile instantly making its way back to his slightly pale face. Sunken eyes lighting up just a bit as he weakly grasps the bouquet. “Thank you, I didn’t think that my prince charming would be visiting me tonight.” He teases, taking a whiff of the flowers before carefully handing it to your mother who’s starting to take out the packed dinner. “And it seems that my prince charming’s princess is here as well.” Your dad gestures to Mikey, a cheeky grin on both of their faces as Mikey holds up an imaginary skirt, doing a little curtsy which makes both the males laugh to themselves.

“Just wanted to visit you, pa. Been awhile since I saw you.”

For 3 days straight, you managed to ask Shinichiro for the flowers that the girls rejected, and everytime, you’d bring it to the hospital for your dad who’s always happy to receive the flowers. His eyes always lighting up whenever he’d take a whiff of the colourful petals.

This becomes a habit of yours a week after your dad gets home from the hospital, Shinichiro always manages to have a bouquet of flowers for you to take whenever you’d drop by, even when he says that he didn’t ask any girl out that day. Even so, you don’t question it, not when your dad always seems to enjoy the flowers, smile and laughter surrounding the house whenever you’d come home with the arrangements.

But then, one night, as you were just about to enter the living room, flower in hand, your dad asked you something which made your blood run cold. “Why didn’t you tell me that you were in a gang?”

Turning around, you see your dad’s pale and sunken face stare at you, the once smile lines that always appeared on his face erased from his features, only a hard glare can be seen. His jaw is clenched as he waits for your answer but you remain silent. Taking this as a sign for him to continue, he gestures for your mum to take your little brother to your shared room, hoping that that will be enough distance for your brother to not be able to hear what’s about to happen.

“I gave you my bike because I thought that you were just jealous of your friends for having one. I let you hang out with Mikey and those other boys because I thought that all of you knew what you were doing, that you wouldn’t intentionally cause trouble. I trusted you and your friends because I thought that you’d know better than to do something stupid like join a gang, but instead, you went and made your own gang?! What went through your head when you agreed with that?! I thought you were smart! I thought that you’d think more about the consequences! Tell me! What went through your head!” Your dad’s voice booms against the walls, hands slamming onto the coffee table in front of him, the wood making a rattling noise as he does so.

“For years, I tried my best to protect you, but you go out there and get yourself beaten just because?!”

You’re not quite sure when and why you started crying, but the tears slowly streaming down your face makes their presence known. Maybe the tears were caused by your father’s anger towards you, something he rarely does. Or maybe it's the fact that his voice is ringing in your ears, the hurt in his voice only adding to the growing guilt building up in you as you start to think about why you had even tried to hide Toman away from him. Or maybe it’s the fact that you can see just how glassy his eyes are from his unshed tears as he tries to stand up, hands and knees shaking.

Silently making your way to his side, you try to take his arm in yours, wanting to help him stand and walk to his room, knowing just how difficult it is for him to walk with the still healing wound on his leg. But instead of taking your hand like he always does, he just shakes you off, a stoic look on his face as he looks away from you.

Slowly, you watch your dad limp to his bedroom, lips bitten as he tries to silence the painful grunts that’s trying to spill from his lips.

Taking a seat on where your dad used to sit, you start to wipe your tears away but they never seem to stop flowing. Anger starts to boil in you, hands now aggressively wiping the tears away only for your sobs to start escaping your lips. Gripping your hair, you pull your knees to your chest, trying your best to bury your face in them in order to silence the sobs. Your scalp stings from just how hard you’re pulling at your hair but you only stop when you hear footsteps.

Your mother slowly appears from the hallway, and as soon as you spot her, you put your feet down, hands immediately letting go of your hair as you desperately wipe your tears away, sobs forcefully being held back as you face her, trying to look as normal as possible. Trying to look like you weren’t just having a mental breakdown.

Making her way to you, she has this soft look on her face, something that you’re not familiar with anymore. Not when she’s almost always away for work. Not when your daily interaction with her is through text. Not when your usual conversation starts with her saying that she won’t be home tonight. Not when the only reply that you can manage is ‘Okay, I love you, stay safe’ before she leaves you on read until the next time she sends you a message saying that she won’t be home once more.

Placing her soft hands on your cheek, you almost flinch with just how cold her skin feels on your burning cheeks. “Forgive your dad, he’s not feeling well today and the medicines are stressing him out.” She whispers, her thumb wiping off your tears.

Nodding at that, you quickly stand up, back facing your mother as you make your way to the bathroom, hoping that you’ll make it before your sobs spill out.

Locking the door, you turn on the shower and sit on the toilet, back hunching as you lay your arms on your lap and cover your face, sobs finally spilling out as you try to desperately think about what to say to your dad tomorrow.

What are you gonna say to Mikey and the others?

Are you going to leave the gang?

How are you gonna explain all this to your dad?

You spend an hour in the bathroom, crying your eyes out, mind muddled with what you’re supposed to do when the sun comes shining through once more, jumbled thoughts about what you’re gonna say to your dad tomorrow. But when you make your way to your room and rest on your bed, you will yourself to sleep, the ache in your bones helping with making you fall into unconsciousness. Not a single hint as to what tomorrow has for you.

Waking up early, you quickly get ready for school, eyes a little swollen from just how hard you cried last night but instead of panicking, you made up an excuse in your head to be ready for when your friends question you.

Taking your bag, you sling it on your shoulder before silently creeping in your parents’ bedroom. Your dad asleep on the bed while your mum passes you, mumbling about how she’s probably gonna be late to work if she doesn’t go now. Slipping into the room, you silently make your way to your dad’s side, a heavy smell drifting in the room, the scent feeling heavy in your lungs as you try your best to not inhale it for long.

Looking down at your dad, you quickly place a chaste kiss to his cheek, lips pressing onto his slightly cold cheek but you don’t notice it. Not when you’re trying your best to not inhale the heavy air, scent almost making you nauseous as you quickly slip out of the room.

Bidding your mother and brother goodbye, you exit the house, mind finally clearing up in order to be ready for school and work.

You’re in the middle of work when your boss - your sister’s friend - calls you, making you halt your dishwashing duties as you wipe your hands on a towel and make your way to her. You warily take the phone from her hand, the look on her face making you feel all panicky as you put the phone to your ear, your sister’s voice quickly greeting you.

“Papa’s gone.” She croaks out.

Silence.

You don’t know what to say.

Maybe it’s the surprise exam earlier that’s making your head a little slower than usual, or maybe you’re still preoccupied with work, but you can’t quite comprehend what she just said.

The phone call ends after a few more seconds of your silence and you turn to your boss who’s face holds a look of sympathy as she gently takes the phone from your hand and pulls you in for a hug.

Accepting the hug, you let her caress your head even if you don’t know what exactly is going on.

What the hell does that even mean?

Papa’s gone?

Papa’s gone?

“Y/N, I’ll let you go home early, okay? Do you want me to call Shinichiro? So that he can pick you up?”

Papa’s gone...

Papa’s gone...

Your boss lets go of you, taking her phone out as she starts to dial up Shinichiro.

Papa’s gone...

Papa’s gone.

Oh.

Papa’s gone.

As if everything cleared up, you bow at your boss before heading to the backroom when you changed into your clothes, body going into autopilot as you mindlessly walk to the back of the cafe where your bike is.

Not even remembering to tell your boss that you’re going home. You hop onto the bike and drive home, mind now blank as you swerve on the road.

A loud honk from a car wakes you up from your stupor, eyes now clearing up as you immediately swerve to the right to avoid an oncoming car. Just like that, tears are clouding your vision once more.

You don’t know how you managed to make it home without causing an accident, but when you do, you see your mother hysterically crying by the living room while your grandparents look after your brother who’s silently playing in your room. Your oldest sister is outside by the porch, talking to someone on the phone, saying things about when they’ll pick up your dad. You can hear crying from your dad’s room. But you don’t go upstairs just yet. You sit yourself on the floor where the dogs immediately run over to you, they nuzzle your face as you pet them, hoping that this will calm you down now that the situation is finally crashing onto you, emotions going haywire as you listened to your mother’s cries and your sister’s stoic words from outside.

Noticing your still form, your mother silences her cries as she motions for you to head to their room where your dad probably was.

Taking the dogs with you, you seek comfort in their warmth as they follow you to the room. Your sisters walk out as soon as they see you. Taking their place on your dad’s, you stare at his face.

He looks like he’s peacefully sleeping.

He doesn’t look like he’s gone.

He’s right there,

He’s sleeping right there.

What do they mean that he’s gone?

Reaching a hand out to the cheek that you kissed earlier this morning, you almost flinch with just how cold and firm his cheek was. Your hand trembles as you touch his cheek once more. The tender flesh now firm and hard. Unlike your own.

Your tears fall harder when you watch your dogs nuzzle your dad’s hand, rolling onto their backs as they wait for him to scratch their tummies much like how he usually does when he’s at home.

Grasping his hand, you rub your thumb against his hand, hoping that he’ll feel your touch and hold onto you tighter, hoping that this is all just some messed up joke that he played on you in order to make you feel bad for what happened last night.

Then, your thoughts started to spiral.

What if you’re the reason why he’s like this. You didn’t even get to say sorry. Didn’t even get to explain the situation. What if you caused all of this.

You know just how difficult everything is for him right now. Know how stressed your dad is from being in and out of the hospital for so long. Know how much pain he’s feeling from his physical wounds along with his heart condition. Knew that aside from all of that, your parents have been silently fighting whenever your mum would actually come home for the night.

And now, you just added to his problems.

You broke the dam that’s holding onto all of his problems.

You caused this, didn’t you?

You did all of this.

You did this to your own father.

You were selfish enough to not think about what would happen if you kept Toman to yourself. If you didn’t tell him. What would happen if you had gotten hurt? That will only add to the growing bills that your mum had to pay for. Your dad will be worried. Your selfishness brought this upon him, and your sisters, your mother and even your brother will hate you if they find out.

They’ll hate you. You caused this.

Guilt eats at you from the inside out, body heating up as you start to sob harder, lost in your own thoughts as you don’t even notice the door opening, nor do you notice two males walking in, along with a certain blonde female.

The only indication that you’re not alone anymore is when you’re engulfed in warmth. Body pressed against someone taller than you, their arms wrapping around your body, while someone holds your hand and another caresses your head.

Looking up, your eyes still blurry with tears and your nose clogged with snot, you hiccup when you see Shinichiro, eyes softened as he offers you a small smile. The sight of him makes you pause as you see the way he’s holding back tears, his smile shaking as he looks away from you. Turning to Mikey, he looks at you, tears freely flowing as he lightly pulls you towards him, lips gently pressing to your temple as he whispers ‘it’s gonna be okay’ over and over again. Lastly, Emma, who’s now leaning her head on yours. She can barely look at you as she cries onto your back. Sobs louder than yours as her hand falls from your head and to your shirt where she grips it much like how she did when you first met her.

With a shuddering breath, you pull Mikey into your embrace and bury your head onto Shinichiro’s chest, hoping that this warmth that you’re feeling will last forever.

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