Apparently people like me floating around purposeless and without set goals are ruining it for everyone else lol… I don’t understand why people get unusually worked up when I say I go with the flow … wherever life takes me … this is the 2nd time this week someone was triggered by this…

Anyway it doesn’t bother me_ their comment_ it’s different people and different lifestyles… I don’t value other people’s opinions who I don’t respect so …

Honest to god, I fucking despise that I am still running so so so much on external validation that a person I barely talked with not wanting anything to do with me fucks with my mind so much.

I do not want to feel rejected by anyone. Therefore I sometimes have a hard time rejecting people in my life myself. That's my problem.

And I am extremely angry that they did not tell me what I did wrong. And then again, I am kind of proud of them rejecting me. Good for you, if you think I trigger something in you to not interact with me. Honestly, I wish this will solve your problems for you, although it makes my life more problematic.

I suppose I just need to accept the fact that I am scared of this changing my position in the constellation we found ourselves in but not giving it any more weight than that. It's not fine at the moment, but it will be alright. One person hating you does not equal all of them to do so.

So all in all it's been an eventful day. I have a lot of complex feelings I kind of have to deal with.