#microsar

“Come on, Reg, please? No one’s around. It’s late, and I haven’t seen you in days.” James knows he’s being reckless, but he can’t help it. He didn’t mean to run into Regulus, but when he spotted him during his Prefect rounds, he couldn’t resist catching up, feeling drawn to him like a magnet. He’s missed him more than he probably should admit—more than what’s acceptable for two people who’ve been secretly dating for four months.

It all started by accident. A few months ago, James found himself in the library needing to study, but it was surprisingly crowded for a Thursday. He wandered around, searching for a place to sit, and the only available seat was at a table with Regulus. Reluctantly, Regulus let him join, and by the end of the night, James was completely smitten. After that, hallway run-ins where James would change course just to walk Regulus to class, and Quidditch changing room chats became weekly occurrences, and it all fell together naturally. Neither of them had expected to fall for the other, so they’ve been taking it slow. 

Now, four months later, they’re still together, and James couldn’t be happier. But with how protective Sirius is of his brother, Regulus has insisted they keep the whole thing a secret. James gets it, but part of him hates lying to his best friend. He’s been trying to convince Regulus that they should tell him now that they’re serious. Thankfully, Regulus is warming to the idea.

“We could go back to my dorm? I think Remus, Sirius, and Pete are at the library,” James offers.

“After the other day when I was trapped in your room under the invisibility cloak, I don’t want to take any chances. I missed Potions because of that, and Sirius nearly caught us.” 

“But he didn’t,” James grins. Regulus rolls his eyes, the way James loves because he only does it when he has no snarky comment to say back.

“Anyone could find us here, we’re not exactly hidden.” Regulus’ body betrays his words when he steps closer to James, his hands reaching out for his robes. James instinctively brings him in, pulling their bodies flush. 

Running a hand through the soft strands of Regulus’ curls, he tips his head back, their eyes meeting. “Regulus,” James starts, feeling completely lost in his storm grey eyes, “I really want to kiss you. Can I kiss you?”

There’s a war going on behind Regulus’ eyes, weighing his options, debating the risks. Ultimately, he gives in, sending James a small nod before leaning up. The moment their lips touch, the rest of the world falls away. There’s only thoughts of RegulusRegulusRegulus.

This is what always happens with the two of them. They get utterly sucked into each other’s orbit, and are unable to notice anything else. Even the other day in James’ dorm, they were much too close to getting caught, not realising the door had clicked open until they heard Sirius and Peter’s voices. Regulus practically rolled off the bed, and James had to cough and stomp his foot to cover the thud of Regulus’ body hitting  the floor as he covered himself with the cloak.

“James, I missed you,” Regulus whispers against his lips, and it makes James' heart sing. It always takes a few minutes for Regulus’ walls to come down, but when they do, when he gets soft and open with how he feels—there’s nothing like it.

Heart fluttering from Regulus’ words and his body lit up from Regulus’ touch, James stops worrying about where they are. Unfortunately, he probably should start paying more attention.

“What in Merlin’s name is this?”

They pull apart, James whirling around to find Sirius. His arms are crossed, a scowl on his face, and he looks pissed. James has half a mind to run, but that thought fades when he turns and sees Regulus, whose expression mirrors Sirius'—scowl and everything.

“What does it look like, Sirius? I’m kissing James,” Regulus says dryly. 

“I can see that, Regulus. What I’m confused about is why it doesn’t look to me like a first kiss,” Sirius responds. 

James’ palms start to sweat. If there’s one place you don’t want to be, it’s in the middle of a fight between the Black Brothers. “Sirius, we were going to tell you—”

“Tell me what? That you’ve been kissing my brother? Cus it sure doesn’t seem like you were going to tell me.”

“I—we—the thing is—” James is floundering. He knows it, and he doesn’t know how to fix it.

“We’ve been seeing each other for four months. We weren’t going to tell you unless it became something worth telling. Which it has, so surprise! James and I are dating.”

Heart flooding with warmth, James can’t help but look at Regulus, likely with a dopey look on his face. Regulus’ lips twitch quickly when his eyes shift sidelong to James.

“Please don’t be mad, Sirius. I really like him. I wanted to tell you, I swear—”

“Prongs, relax.” Sirius’ expression softens into a small smile as he steps forward, placing his hands on James’ shoulders. “I’ve had a hunch about you two for a while. The way you look at each other? It’s not hard to figure out. Also, you’re not as sneaky as you think. I knew Regulus was in the dorm the other day, why do you think I droned on about nothing for an hour?” Sirius grins. “Honestly, I’m ecstatic. My best friend and my brother? How could it get better? Just don’t hurt each other, and I’m all for it.”

Shocked, James looks back at Regulus before his head turns towards Sirius, a wide smile on his face. 

“You’re really fine with this?” Regulus asks.

“I’m fine with it. I’d just prefer not to see it. And don’t ever lie to me again, James.”

James smiles. “Wouldn’t think of it.How did you even end up over here, anyway? This isn’t on the way back to the dorm.”

Sirius pulls the map from his pocket, waving it in the air. “Next time you try to hide something from me, maybe don’t forget we have a map that shows us where everyone in the castle is.” His lips curl into a mischievous smirk and James laughs.

“You have a map that shows you where everyone is in the castle?” Regulus blurts out in disbelief.

Whipping their heads toward him, Sirius and James share a sidelong glance.

He should have fucking known. Dropping his bag with a loud thud Regulus walks to the edge of the rink, eyes trained on the familiar body gliding around the ice. James skates like the ice is a natural extension of his body. Effortless, smooth, and fast. He’s bloody fit, and Regulus absolutely hates him for it. Hates how easy he makes it look, how James glides in perfect circles, tracking the puck with precision, then seamlessly sending it into the goal. 

Regulus has despised hockey players his entire life. Always fighting for ice time, even back when he was a teenager in his hometown. He thought things might be different at University, but it turns out hockey players are just as insufferable here as they were back home. And James? He’s the worst. Because he’s nice. Regulus can’t stand how genuinely kind James is, as if being captain of the University hockey team somehow makes his niceness even more unbearable. But Regulus isn’t buying it. Refuses to buy it no matter how many interactions he and James have proving otherwise. He’s not sure how someone could be so consistently kind, especially someone with so much power and ego wrapped up in their position. 

“Oi! Potter!” Regulus calls from the side of the ice. James whips his head, hazel eyes piercing directly into Regulus’ as a sly smile fits his face. He skates over nonchalantly, coming right up to where Regulus stands, only the boards between them.

“Black, what are you doing here?” James takes off his gloves and helmet.

“Well, I came to practice, seeing as there’s a competition coming up and there’s usually no one here this late. Why am I not surprised to run into you though? You always seem to just be here whenever I don’t want you around. Which, now that I think of it, is always. Like a gnat.”

James grins, “Well, I have a big game this weekend, so I wanted to practice a few drills on my own. Plus, it’s not like we signed up for the ice, so it really is free reign, you know?” He says, leaning against the boards and into Regulus’ space. 

“Okay, but I need the ice now. You’ve had your time, now go.” Regulus waves his hand out in a shooing motion and James responds by laughing. Laughing.

Instantly the heat of annoyance extends through Regulus’ entire body.

“I’ve got an idea,” James says with a grin. “What if we shared? I take one half, and you take the other?”

Regulus rolls his eyes. “Over my dead body am I sharing the ice with you.”

“Well, write me an obituary then, because I’m not leaving. I have every right to be here, same as you.”

Regulus huffs. “I need the whole rink to practice, Potter. I can’t get enough speed without it.”

“No, you don’t, Regulus. You just don’t want to share it with me. Either split it down the middle, or you can leave. I was here first.”

James turns and skates off, leaving Regulus to make up his mind. With a frustrated sigh, Regulus resigns himself to sharing the ice, knowing deep down he really does need the practice.

He can ignore James.

He can.

Regulus groans as he sits down to lace up his skates. Almost all of his annoyance fades the second he hits the ice, the smooth glide calming him as he begins to meticulously practice his routine on his half of the rink.

But he can feel James’ eyes on him, the weight of his gaze following every move. Despite his focus, Regulus can't shake the sense of being watched as he skates, jumps, and spins. He tries to shake the feeling of James’ eyes as he gears up for the move he needs to practice the most: his hydroblade. He starts skating, slowly bending his leg and sinking closer to the ground until the ice is underneath his fingertips. A smile pulls at his lips as he nails the move, intensely focused. As he stands back up, slowing down to a stop, he can't help but let out an excited yelp.

The sound of clapping rings in the air and he turns to see James standing and cheering him on. Regulus attempts to roll his eyes, but the smile pulling at his lips betrays him. Skating over to where James is, he sends him a pointed look. 

“Are you really cheering for me right now?” His voice comes out like honey, which is unintended, but with a bitter edge to it.

“Well, yeah, of course! That was amazing! You look incredible on the ice, you know. Angelic almost.”

They’re only a few inches apart, and Regulus hates the way his cheeks heat at the compliment and his breath hitches when James closes in on him. 

“You okay, Black?” James says with a self-satisfied smirk.

“M’fine,” Regulus chokes out, his voice faltering as James skates another inch closer.

“Am I making you nervous?” James asks, a cheeky smile tugging at his lips as he leans in a little closer.

“No, you could never make me nervous.”

“I’m not so sure about that,” James teases, his grin widening. “You seem a little tense right now.”

Unfortunately, they’ve been here before. As nice as James is, he does also have that cocky side to him. The one that reminds Regulus how he’s made it so far in this sport, how he has his entire team wrapped around his finger. And that’s what makes this game between them so fun.

Regulus musters up whatever strength he has in him to push back. Closing in another inch too, the space between them is almost nonexistent now.

“Are you sure I’m the only one who’s nervous?” Regulus asks with a tilt of his head.

James’ pupils blow wide, and Regulus tracks the way his Adam's apple bobs, eyes flicking down briefly to Regulus’ lips.

Their breath mingles in the close space between them, and Regulus can practically hear his own heart pounding in his ears. He never knows which one of them will break first, but it’s inevitable that one of them will. Whether it’s locker rooms, parties, or empty classrooms, somehow he and James always find each other.

Regulus hates it. But he also loves it. Craves it. The bickering, the teasing, the push and pull—it’s a game they can’t seem to quit. And Regulus honestly isn’t sure which one of them is winning anymore.

However, when James leans in, his lips brushing the spot behind Regulus’ ear—the one that drives them both crazy—He decides he doesn’t even care anymore. Not when James is this close to him, the smell of his sweat filling Regulus’ senses, and the thought of his skin being within reach makes it all the more intense.

“Get in the penalty box, James,” Regulus whispers, savoring the low rumble that escapes from him.

“So it’s James now?” There’s a glimmer in his eye, one that pisses Regulus off. “I had a feeling we’d end up here,” James says confidently, his hand wrapping around Regulus’ as they skate toward the box. “We always do.”

“Fuck you, James,” Regulus mutters, giving James a gentle shove into the box.

“Oh, I intend to, sweetheart. A nice reward for nailing that trick.”

Regulus tries to stifle the sound caught in his throat, but it slips out anyway as James pulls him into a kiss, and he melts into it. Just like he always does.

fics n stuff

jujutsu kaisen

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to be known the way you should: 1/1 | 2.8k | bakugou katsuki/izuku midoriya | T

aftg

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thoroughfare: 1/1 | 30k | jerejean | M

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link click / shiguang daili ren

you and i, we’re alive (don’t let go): 1/1 | 2.5k | shiguang | E

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[ multifandom ] anime/manga mostly, but lots of other things too

“Regulus,” James whispers against his neck, for no other reason than just to taste his name, he’s sure. The smell of alcohol on his breath lingering still, surely still on Regulus’ breath too. 

The funny thing is that Regulus didn’t even want to go out tonight. But Lily dragged him anyway. Promises of you’ll have fun, it’s been so long, Pandora and I miss you. And it’s true, Regulus hasn’t seen them much since starting his graduate program. But his studies come first, they’ll always come first. So when he showed up at the pub, he realized how much he missed everyone. Barty and Evan were practically hanging off of him, like they tend to do, Pandora and Lily were smiling, so Regulus let himself indulge. He probably should have said no to the third drink, but he was having so much fun. It had been so long since he had fun.

Then the night took a turn. Regulus went to the bar to grab a glass of water, attempting to offset the sharp buzz in his mind, and when he turned around, the breath was knocked from him completely.

James. 

They hadn’t seen each other in nearly a year, not since James moved three hours away, but Regulus hadn’t gone a single day without thinking of him. Two years of a relationship don’t easily fade away, especially when the only thing that tore them apart was circumstance. Well, not the only thing, Regulus admits. Toward the end, they both said things, hurtful things, that left scars harder to heal than distance ever could.

Looking across the bar at James was like looking at his own mangled heart outside of his chest. His ribs split open and echoing the empty space where it used to be, the bloody mess of it James still holding in his hands, and probably always will.

And when James caught his gaze and gave him a small smile, it felt as though a flower bloomed suddenly, fragile and beautiful, amidst the wreckage of his caved-in chest.

Like magnets, they were drawn to each other. Fumbling through awkward hellos and how are yous, slipping quickly into familiar touches, soft glances, and palpable tension that hummed between them.

Deciding to go home together was easy—almost as if it wasn’t even a question between them. Regulus should have anticipated the reactions from his friends: murmurs of it’s not a good idea, this never turns out well for you, and are you sure? But of course, Regulus was sure, because it was James. He would always be sure of James, no matter how much they’d hurt each other, or how much they likely will again. What was once beautiful between them had twisted into something painful, love now tangled with hurt, binding them both together in a way that made them willing to face that pain all over again whenever the opportunity arose. 

The ride back to Regulus’ was quiet. A hand on the thigh, a cheek rested on a shoulder, lips pressed to a temple.

“You want this?” James had asked.

“Always,” Regulus answered. 

It’s a sigh of relief when they both slide into Regulus’ bed, his back against James’ chest. It’s a delicate dance they both know well, careful not to push things too far. The way their bodies slot together like the last missing pieces of a puzzle you thought were lost and finally found after months only makes it worse. James’ hand splayed across the expanse of Regulus’ stomach, finger lightly flicking his navel piercing, skin touching skin everywhere they can. 

“I miss you,” James says, lips grazing so lightly along Regulus’ neck, a ghost of a feeling.

 He cranes it to give James better access against his better judgement. “You shouldn’t say things like that.”

“I’m just telling the truth.”

James pulls Regulus’ body closer, as though they could fuse together, and Regulus lets him. James could flay him open and take him apart completely, muscle by muscle, bone by bone, and Regulus would be okay with it. 

“James, we shouldn’t,” Regulus says unconvincingly to even himself.

“You keep saying that word,” James whines.

“What?”

“Shouldn’t.”

“It’s true,” Regulus admits, even though it feels like a lie in his mouth.

“Do you want me to stop? Just say the word Reg, and I’ll stop, you know I will.” And Regulus knows it’s true. One word and this would end, James would roll over, and maybe only their shoulders would touch and neither of them would sleep. Instead they’d lie there awake silently, not saying any of the things going through their minds. “Tell me, do you want me to stop?” James asks again.

“No–no I don’t want you to stop.” It’s a whisper, a hint of desperation in his tone.

So James doesn’t. His hands once again pulling Regulus against him, fingers squeezing his waist as a low noise rumbles in the back of his throat, vibrating against Regulus’ too hot skin.

“James.” This time it’s Regulus, saying his name just because he likes how it tastes in his mouth.

“Please.” He noses along Regulus neck again, lips pressing to that spot behind his ear that always drove the both of them crazy. 

It’s that word—that soft, desperate plea—that fractures Regulus. Shifting his hips back, their bodies grinding together like they can’t help it, it feels inevitable, as if everything leading up to this was destined the moment their eyes met across the bar. James presses a kiss to his neck, slow and deliberate now, but neither of them makes a move to turn their bodies, to face each other and the truth of what’s happening. A part of Regulus knows they both understand that if they do, this fragile moment will shatter. They won’t be able to stop, not once they acknowledge everything between them. He can’t bear to look into James’ hazel eyes—the eyes that have always seen him more clearly than anyone ever could. Eyes that read him like an old, well-worn book, every word etched into James’ memory.

Regulus’ eyes slip shut, falling into the sensations of his body. James’ skin, the calluses on his hands as they roam up and down his sides, soft lips that he’s missed sucking bruises into his neck, sending him to a place he hasn’t been able to reach since he and James broke up.

At some point, they lose the small shreds of clothing either of them were wearing, their bare bodies flush. One of Regulus’ hands has reached behind him, tugging at the strands of James’ wild hair, pulling small gasps and quiet moans from him, the sounds bringing goosebumps to Regulus’ skin. James is hard against his back, and all Regulus wants is to feel James inside him, but he knows they shouldn’t. If he does, if they do, Regulus will be back at square one, grieving the relationship between them, grieving the lost friendship between them. And that might have been more painful than any of it. When trust is already difficult, losing one of the few people that you’ve given it to is world shattering.

James must feel the same way, and when his cock slips between Regulus’ thighs, he welcomes it. Squeezing his legs around it when it slides back and forth. The metal of James’ piercing, the single bar on the underside of his shaft, rubs against his legs and Regulus moans loud and filthy.

“Fuck, James, I missed you. I miss you,” Regulus babbles. 

James’ hips keep rolling forward, his hand tightly gripped to Regulus’ hips, and Regulus hopes it leaves a mark. Something to remind him this was real, this happened. James was here, and his again if only for a minute. 

“I’m sorry, Reg. I–shit–”

“Don’t, not now. Don’t ruin it.”

Regulus feels the subtle nod of James’ head as his teeth nip his ear. Whimpers falling past his lips and worming their way into Regulus’ eardrum and deep into his bones.

“Touch yourself, love. Please, for me?”

Again, Regulus doesn’t stand a chance when James says please. So his free hand moves to fist around his cock, achingly hard and leaking against his stomach. Regulus times his own strokes with James’ thrusts between his thighs, and for a moment, he can almost convince himself they’re back a year ago. Before everything changed, when things were easy, when they were happy. 

But beneath the surface, there’s a heaviness, a quiet sadness between them that hangs in the air, persistent and unspoken. It lingers like tangled vines, creeping up the walls of an old building, vines you tear away, only for them to grow back, stronger each time, no matter how hard you try to rid yourself of them. 

Too much has happened, and things will never go back to how they were. 

But for now, they have this—this fleeting moment. And right now they can make each other feel good, even if it’s laced with pain. Like a bruise that’s healing, the kind that stings when you touch it, but in a strange way, the pain feels almost soothing, a reminder that something broken can still feel alive.

Both of their movements grow faster, more erratic. Whines mingle in the air and Regulus isn’t sure who they belong to. Whispers of please, more, faster, I still love you. 

James’ hand leaves Regulus’ hip, and for a second he mourns the loss of his touch, until there’s a pressure around his throat. A familiar touch that brings Regulus to the edge instantly. James squeezes under his jaw, tongue licking along his neck, rumbling vibrations against his back as James chases his own release. 

Heat builds low in Regulus’ core. Heat in his core and pain in his chest as his hips shift back and closer to James. Both of them lost in the moment, lost in each other. 

It’s not surprising, when they come together, streaks of white spilling onto the bed. Another tangible example that this was real, that it happened, that James is here. 

James is here.

Here.

And fuck, Regulus misses him so much.

Bodies twitching, coming down from their orgasms, reality shifts back into focus. James is pressing soft kisses along all the marks he left on Regulus’ neck, and now that it’s over, Regulus lets himself turn over, desperate to feel James’ arms wrapped around him, to bury his nose in James’ neck. Just one more time.

The warmth of James' body surrounds him, the musky scent flooding his senses. It burns in his lungs, like the relief of releasing the last breath while drowning, his body screaming not to breathe, even as every part of him aches for the air, the desperate, painful release that comes with it.

James mumbles something into his hair, something Regulus doesn’t quite catch.

“What?” Regulus asks into his chest. 

“It’s fine. It doesn’t count. We didn’t really—”

Regulus shifts back, blood turning to ice as he meets James’ eyes. “What the fuck do you mean?”

“I—we didn’t really—did we? It doesn’t count.”

Reality comes back to Regulus. The truth between them that at this point, all they can really do is hurt each other. “Why don’t you want it to count, James?”

James bites his lip, words stammer out of him. “I–I’m seeing someone.” The words come out broken.

Oh.

There it is.

The pain that always lingers between them. Regulus is silent for a long time. 

Ultimately, he knew this was a bad idea. Lily told him, Barty told him, everyone did. He knew it was going to hurt. 

But then again, Regulus has always been a bit of a masochist.

“Okay, It doesn’t count,” he whispers as he nuzzles back into James’ chest. Fingers threading through his curls and lulling him to sleep.

The last thing Regulus hears before falling asleep is a quiet, muttered, I’m sorry.

He doesn’t have it in him to say anything back. So he drifts to sleep.

It’s unsurprising, and probably for the best, when Regulus wakes up alone.