#michael ellsberg

Knock and Knock Again

I learned sales and marketing from knocking on a hundred doors a day. You quickly discover that you’ll get 99 slammed in your face before you make a sale. — John Paul DeJoria, quoted in The Education of Millionaires by Michael Ellsberg

While John Paul DeJoria knocked on doors to sell hair care products, as authors and publishers, we knock on doors over and over again to sell books, pitch…

Nền Giáo Dục Của Người Giàu của Michael Ellsberg

Nền Giáo Dục Của Người Giàu

Phải học đại học thì sau này mới thành công? Điều đó chưa chắc đã đúng! Một số người thông minh nhất, thành công nhất trên thế giới chưa từng có bằng đại học.

Vậy những kiến thức họ học được, những kỹ năng họ sử dụng, họ đã lấy từ đâu? Cuốn sách Nền giáo dục của người giàu sẽ cho bạn biết điều đó và giúp bạn tìm ra một con đường mới để đi tới thành công.

Thành công là…

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(0 minute read)

Today I finished reading Michael Ellsberg’s The Education of Millionaires: Everything You Won’t Learn in College About How to Be Successful. A great book about a very successful man who made it all happen without any kind of degree or special education. After reading this book you have absolutely NO reason why you should not be able to achieve anything you want out of life. By giving you a huge amount of real world examples of highly successful people, it really pushes the mindset of high-achievers into your head and gives you some major insights into the mind of self-educated and great people.

The difference between focusing on outcome and focusing on output was one that really resonated with me at that very moment.

He talks about the kind of people who only work because “they supposed to be” working. They only put the minimum amount of effort into their daily routines. Whatever their boss orders them to do, they will execute with the least amount of effort, and personal thinking. They might get the job done, but they won’t overextend in any way or form. This frees them from any responsibility. They can always blame others for their non-action and passive acknowledgment. These people focus on output. Basically they try to look busy.

People who are focusing on outcome are different (and will always be more successful in the end, because they have the right mindset). They are only interested in measurable outcome. If the work can be done in less time by doing it differently, they might do it this way, even if it is somehow “unusual” or “uncommon”. As long as it produces the required outcome, everything is fine. Usually these people put extra effort into their work. When they see a potential area in their work environment where they can improve something, they just do it. They spend extra time to fix it. They do not wait for orders to fix it, they do the work first and then cash in the bonus for doing it. Bosses love these guys, they are the first people who get promoted and the last ones who get fired. Try to be such a person, focus on being effective not occupied, focus on being productive instead of being busy, focus on outcome instead of output and everything will work out in your favour!

(Photo: Flickr)

By Michael Ellsberg, Washington Post, June 19, 2015

This essay is adapted from a June 10 post on the author’s Facebook page.

A huge piece of my emotional puzzle fell into place last week. For years, I had a story in my mind that my dad did not pay much attention to me when I was growing up. There was a lot of evidence I could marshal in support of this story. After he released the Pentagon Papers to many newspapers, including this one, in 1971, he devoted himself full-time to activism. By the time I came around, in 1977, he was immersed in the global movement for nuclear disarmament. He was often away for long stretches of time, and we didn’t spend a lot of time together during my childhood.

One of my clearest memories as a boy was waiting for dad to walk through the door after a long trip, off saving the world. He would always bring me a stuffed animal, which made me ecstatic. I was proud of what I saw as his heroism. And I was proud to have the greatest stuffed animal collection of any of my friends. Yet there was a bittersweetness to this delight: Why did I have so many of them?

Over the years, I had come to my own peace with his choices about where his focus went. As an adult, I greatly respect the work he did throughout my childhood. Even then, though I only had a child’s understanding of it, I had the sense he was up to big and important things. I was proud of daddy. But as a young boy, I longed for time with and attention from him as well.

At lunch with my father last week, he shared information with me that changed my understanding of that time. My parents have been married almost 45 years, and from my vantage point, it has always looked like a happy marriage.

At that lunch, he told me that, despite loving each other deeply, they had a very challenging marriage for about the first 15 years of my life. They managed to keep this hidden from me. He said there were times when he just couldn’t take any more of the challenges, and was ready to leave.

But he stayed, because he just couldn’t bear hurting me by leaving. He had already divorced once in his life, with two children, and he didn’t want to cause that pain again. They went on, after that period, to have decades more of a wonderful marriage, and they’re still happily married today.

I started crying when he told me this. It just blew my mind and my heart open that a man would stay in a difficult marriage for 15 years in large part to avoid my suffering. That’s more than twice as long as my six-year relationship with my ex-wife--and most of our marriage was quite happy, until the end. I could not believe the generosity of his heart. All my stories about him not caring, or not being there for me, instantly vanished in one conversation.

It got me thinking about the stories and interpretations we come up with and fix upon as adults, often based on emotional reactions we have as young children, based on not knowing the full story.

I say this not to shame anyone for divorcing with children. (As a divorcee myself, that would be rather lame of me, wouldn’t it?) Though I don’t have children, it is clear to me that sometimes divorce can be the most compassionate and loving act for children as well as parents.

Rather, I say this to share that, often our parents express their love in ways we didn’t realize when we were children. I am flabbergasted at the dedication and sacrifice my father showed to avoid my suffering. I cannot imagine enduring 15 years of a difficult marriage. I feel a bit silly at the stories I created about him in my head.

At the same meal, my father apologized for not being more present during my boyhood. He even said that, looking back, he felt he hadn’t been a great father to me. Even a day earlier, I would have relished this apology and recognition. Finally, that thing I had longed for out loud during so many therapy sessions!

But after hearing of my father’s stubborn resolve to keep in the marriage for my sake, suddenly his apology felt unnecessary--and his sense of failing as father felt like an insult to his caring heart.

As I assured him that his apology was unnecessary, I listed all the ways he had been a great father. It was the first time I had made such a list in my mind, let alone shared it with him.

I went on to tell him:

Of all the talks I've ever given, this is, in my judgment, the best. At Jazz @ Lincoln Center, speaking to the students of the Institute for Integrative Nutrition.