If there were - hypothetical - three mice waiting to be named, and someone - hypothetical - considers naming them after his favourite detectives on Baker Street but stood before the problem of really liking Archie as a mouse name, which, due to there only being three mice would mean another detective having to sit this mouse naming out, which three would you choose as name patrons? Archie, James, Madge or Hampton?
Ok, first of all, @angryducktimemachine , !!!
Second, I will attempt to view this objectively for advice giving reasons and address the question not on personal preference, but on your very astute pre-stated criteria: the best objective names for a mouse.
As you’ve noted, Archie is an excellent mouse name. There is no possible room for doubt here. It is both cute and distinguished, the perfect combination. It is funny for a mouse’s full legal name to be Archibald, but it innately feels right to call a small critter something like Archie when they have done something adorable or mischievous. Obviously correct, good call you.
Next, I would argue: Madge. Mouse, Madge. Alliteration from the start. Evokes the image of something small—dramatic irony for our canonically tall detective, but also objectively correct for a mouse. The choice.
That leaves us with: James or Hampton. Correct in their own ways. We face a dilemma. There are multiple ways to approach this conundrum:
Even though Hampton is a human name, I would argue it has more whimsical energy. It FEELS like a cartoon name. It’s why we chose it for the show. Cartoon names work well for mice.
Conversely, James is a human name, this cannot be denied, which would appear to be a strike against it, but NO! There is something perhaps more innately whimsical in a human name for an animal companion. You imagine him with a job, with a briefcase, with taxes, which clearly he cannot have. He is a mouse. That’s absurd. Even funnier, he is a mouse named after a man who is hot. These are the building blocks of humor themselves. You can also pair him with Mouse!Archie and make humorous tableaus about how they are in love. That is adorable. I would argue James may have the edge here.
However, there remains one factor at your disposal still in determining the answer: the vibes and style of the mouse. Is this mouse innately pathetic? Do they give the vibes of insecurity? Are they light-colored or small but trying desperately to seem big? Does this mouse enjoy puzzles, mazes, exploring, or pretending to be other mice in elaborate disguises and voices? Does this mouse struggle to stand out among the other mice? If so, Hampton.
Is the mouse innately pathetic? Do they give off the vibes of insecurity—wait, sorry, that’s not helpful, both characters have that. But does this mouse’s pathetic energy have the sheen of cool? Could this mouse day drink at 10:30 in the morning and kinda pull it off? Does this mouse just kinda, like, vibe rather than puzzle? Are they good with other mice and show an effortless charm every time they waltz into a room? Does this mouse stand out? Most importantly, is this mouse hot by mouse standards? If so, James.
I hope this helps. I doubt it will, but I had a great time!
*throws in Ambrosius as a wildcard option*