#meyer davis

They have been handing out a book for each man to read called "How to Abandon Ship" and I had to laugh at some of the things they said. Here are a few excerpts, see if you think they are as funny as I do: 'Liquor should be rationed out during squally weather, and to the men on watch during stormy nights' (They mean in the lifeboat. I can just see our crew getting liquor rations!!) 'Despite the discomfort, wear heavy underclothing the entire voyage' (This may be good advice, but there isn't one man in over two hundred on here that does it.) 'A Messboy from the same tanker came up, fought the flames back, took a breath, and swam under water again. He was severely burned. A woman's bathing cap, fitting over the ears and fastening under the chin, would have greatly reduced his burns' (Where do you get that bit of equipment in the middle of the ocean, or should we be wearing one all the time?) 'Concentrated food should be carried in a large-sized money belt' (That makes a bathing cap and a money belt to wear. Watch how the stuff mounts up.) 'If you are on watch, you should have your lifejacket, extra clothes, and abandon-ship package with you, so you will not have to lose time returning to your quarters.' (Extra clothes, too, – a double-breasted suit I suppose so that you would look good in case of rescue. An abandon-ship package too, whatever that is.) 'Every man should have a whistle made fast around is neck, so that if he is in the water, he can blow the whistle to draw attention' (The way the ships are being torpedoed nowadays, right and left, I suppose that he could also direct traffic out there so that the torpedoes wouldn't hit each other.) 'A toothbrush not only will help keep your mouth from being constantly foul; but also by freshening your mouth, you will ease the sensation of thirst.' (This will make a good advertisement for some toothbrush manufacturer.) 'Take a roll of toilet paper with you' (This will come in handy, especially if wet.) 'Do not hesitate to take along a knife.' To sum up, the well-dressed survivor has the following equipment, not counting the porter to carry the stuff: 1. Bottle of Calvert's Special. 2. Heavy underclothing. 3. Woman's bathing cap. 4. Concentrated food in a money belt. 5. Extra clothes. 6. Abandon-ship package (?) 7. Whistle. 8. Toothbrush. (Tooth-paste?) 9. Roll of toilet paper. 10. Knife. 11. Life-jacket. 12. Flashlight.

The quarter-master and the helmsmen spent one whole watch arguing whether it was better to hitch up a mule team before or after breakfast. The were both from Tennessee, so I suppose that they were authorities – anyway I got some useful information in case I ever live on a farm. By the way, I kind of came to the conclusion that it was better to come out during breakfast and hitch them – but I'm probably wrong.

I certainly envy the Commodore (as you know the Buck is the Flagship of the Squadron) because he parades around the bridge in a very comfortable pair of bedroom slippers, and really supplies the homey touch to such a business-like place. I hope you won't misread that to mean homely touch. He is quite a nice fellow, and knows enough to let our own Captain take care of our ship. He has his troubles worrying about the squadron, and seems to be doing alright at it too.

Let's talk about Navy humor today – . . . The favorite one of most everyone on the Buck actually happened to one of the sailors. He happened to be the signalman on the bridge one night, although he wasn't a rated man. During the course of the watch, a British man of war passed close by [censored] and – as is the usual procedure – we were challenged by them by means of a flashing light – 'Who are you?' Whereupon, this signalman replied, by his lights – 'My name is Aycock, seaman second class.'

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