#metasyntacticvariable

Rating: Explicit

Archive Warning: No Archive Warnings Apply

Category: M/M

Fandom: Teen Wolf (TV)

Relationship: Derek Hale/Stiles Stilinski

Characters: Derek Hale, Stiles Stilinski, Lydia Martin, Vernon Boyd, Erica Reyes, Isaac Lahey, Laura Hale

Additional Tags: Neckz 'n' Throats, Alternate Universe, Mates, Knotting, Everyone Is Alive, Anal Sex, Fluff and Smut, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, Spark Stiles Stilinski, But no real sparky stuff, Bottom Derek Hale, Top Stiles Stilinski

Language: English

Words: 7610

Summary:

“Lydia, it's 9am on a Saturday. Someone had better be bleeding or on fire.”

“Get dressed and come to the studio,” Lydia responded sweetly.

“Lydia,” Stiles explained again, patiently, “9am. On Saturday.”

I didn’t want to spam the OP of the other post any more than necessary, so here, enjoy some of the newest Cats For America’s Libraries! 

@aemiliajane, @aedensolus, @ivy-n-ash, @nonolemog, I hope you like them! @metasyntacticvariable, I couldn’t find a name for your cat with a quick skim/search of your tumblr so I just said THIS GOBLIN CAT but if you send me their name I can go back and edit it in! 

And of course, Dearborn has finally figured out how to get up to the bookshelf, so I may be printing a companion poster to the one on my wall currently. 

That’s a bit tricky since I’ve been pretty consistently halfway behind since the beginning of the second campaign (I’m slightly less behind after I started knitting while watching it - I can’t handle this format very well unless I can do something with my hands). And I never actually watched the first campaign, only bits and pieces. But here’s some moments I loved, in some vague order:

1) Fjord’s dream. I’m a simple human with simple needs, a handsome dude having awful probably-eldritch dreams and then vigorously obfuscating, with hints that he may be lying about more of his background? It’s tailored to me.

I also liked Beau’s fight club encounter, though, so it’s kind of hard to choose between those two. The fact that Beau’s not entirely unlike Starbuck, except sometimes even more of a disaster? I’m weak against that, too.

2) The nergaliid fight (and the fact that some imps were a very serious threat), followed by Caleb trying to talk with lawmaster Norda back in Trostenwald and being about as Done as she was. “I’m a dirty hobo and I reek like yesterday’s garbage.” Spoken like a dude with one hit point left, indeed.

3) Nott’s Cha-based rolls, both the unnatural one and The Zero. Also the way Matt disappeared laughing at the latter.

4) “Dear mom, all of the money is gone...” and basically any other Jester moment, all the way back to “I’m just a little blue tiefling, with blue hair”. She’s extremely adorable.

5) and to put something from the first campaign here, I can’t choose between Pike’s flashcards and that time Percy went to Vex’s door with alcohol and Vex caused percy.exe to encounter an error. They were both pretty good. :D

I have decided to pick five; bless you for this, kind human

How did you start shipping Enjoltaire?

Like a lot of other people here on Hell Dot Com, I didn’t know shit about Les Mis (other than tidbits from @faeriviera) until the 2012 movie. I’d heard a lot of good shit about it, so like three days after it came out, I decided to see it—and immediately fell in stupid slackjawed love with the dumb cocker spaniel in red, and wanted to cry because of his stupid pining wannabe boyfriend in green. And then saw it again on my birthday. And then three MORE times. And started doodling the stupid idiots on everything and scouring AO3 for fanfic and following anyone who blogged about them and RPing them with @faeriviera, both canon-era and modern AU (I’m Grantaire). It has been fiVE YEARS AND I STILL DON’T HAVE MY LIFE BACK

Why do you think Enjoltaire is so popular?

Because first of all, George “Are You Fucking Kidding Me” Blagden and Aaron “I Can’t Fucking Look At You” Tveit personally came after all of us in our homes, murdered us, cleaned up the crime scene with our baby blankets and made themselves a sandwich in our kitchens, and we thanked them and asked if they wanted our social security numbers too, because they are Captains of Fanservice and we are not remotely worthy. And because it’s pretty goddamned refreshing to see the gay subtext (and the “sub” part is generous) so clearly represented in the mainstream (movie OR theatre) adaptation of a classic novel. And also, we’re all big fat masochistic suckers for angst and pain.

What’s your favorite headcanon of Enjoltaire?

This is only for the modern AU, but I love the one (and everyone seems to have their own version) where Grantaire ends up drawing on Enjolras one day—in mine, it’s a lazy morning, and Enj has expressed that he never really “got” why anyone would want a tattoo, so R ends up rather earnestly explaining the passion behind that kind of expression as he draws a freestyle design near his hipbone with a Sharpie (and I actually drew that design, and ohp, would you look at that, it’s right here)—and after R leaves for the day, Enjolras ends up thinking about what R said, and he realizes he doesn’t ever want to wash that Sharpie off. So he consults Bahorel for the name of a good tattoo parlor (and Bahorel is sO PROUD), and he gets it tattooed on, that same day. And when R gets home, he’s stunned when he realizes it’s permanent. And then it’s fluffy and then it gets smutty and I am a happy human being.

What’s your favorite canon moment of Enjoltaire?

I’m going with the movie because I still haven’t officially gotten through the book, fUCK YOU WATERLOO—and BESIDES the beautiful and awful moment of their deaths when their faces make me want to tear mine off and cry, I’d say it’s probably the whole “ABC Cafe/Red and Black” bit where Enjolras is in full-on revolution mode and Grantaire is in Little Shit mode—“Don’t let the wine go to your brains~!” / *SWIGS AT HIM*—and every single expression they both make at each other is like deconstructed angerfucking.  

What songs remind you of Enjoltaire?

why do u have a cow parade. why dont we have a cow parade. look how beautiful they are i want a cow parade.

1. cows are good and we want to appreciate them

2. ??? I have never really learned the origins I guess to support the local farming heritage of vermont and show off some sweet cows

3. okay googling yeah it’s about supporting local farmers. it’s based on the running of the bulls but the creator wanted a ‘slower, friendlier’ version where people could appreciate cows and then end of parade there’s an expo where they could meet farmers and know more about it. we get a few thousand tourists and it’s 15 years old

5. Top 5 fictional characters?

It varies from day to day. The current ones: Steve Rogers, Rose Lalonde, Cordelia Naismith Vorkosigan, Agatha Heterodyne, Maia Drazhar.

10. Favourite planet?

...Trappist-1e?

Nah, it’s Earth, as I live here. Mars is also pretty neat and Venus is nice to look at in the night sky.

15. Do you have any obsessions right now?

I wouldn’t call it an obsession, but I am going to get that one (hilariously specific) version of Baltic Sea map even if I have to write a program that draws it to me from text data.

20. What is your favourite fairy tale?

Hm. It’s been a while. I remember liking the Madame d’Aulnoy ones when I was small, because they tended to have these extremely detailed descriptions of various fairy tale things, clothing and places and so forth.

I also kinda like the “devil attempts to marry his son to poor orphan and the rich girl (guess which one manages to not marry devil’s son)”, mostly because it’s such an Estonian story (to be precise, the two versions I’ve heard were both in books of Estonian fairy tales, but there may be international versions I simply haven’t read). I mean. Devil as some kind of global-level bad guy, the ultimate evil et cetera? Yeah nah, he’s a rich guy who’s dumb enough that every clever person can trick him, he has a family, he just happens to live in hell and be the devil.

25. Most ravenclaw thing you’ve ever done?

I can’t believe there is still Fye fic being written and also that Sasha and Ledilien encounter is wonderful I would read 50k words of it even though I wasn’t in Sasha game

This got long, as is usual for me, so under the cut it goes.