#metamorphgal

JF!

All moved in! Where you ask? Hogsmeade!

Long distance has never been my strong suit, but then I thought about it and realized it didn’t need to be. I did some searching and found an amazing little pub on the main drag that’s looking for a manager, and I got the job!

Of course I left out the part were my boyfriend knocked a guy out once at their bar, but that’ll be our little secret.

JF!

I’m a big fan of the multiverse theories and all that they entail. Like, theoretically there is a universe out there where magic isn’t real! Everybody is a Nomaj, and whenever weird stuff happens they just have to accept that it’s coincidence or a fluke of regular old science.

Weird, I know. I don’t know if I could handle that. Thankfully I live in a normal universe where magic exists.

Jess Faux!

Halloween Tip #1 Reminder! It is against the rules to use magic to carve a pumpkin. You 100% have to carve it by hand.

Why you might ask?

I’m a firm believer that pumpkin carving is a precursor to The Purge. Early celebrators realized that humanity needs to take the time at least once a year to completely gut something with a knife. It’s therapeutic. So carve a pumpkin, and make the world a safer place.

Jess Faux!

Halloween Tip #3 I get it. Pet costumes are all the rage, and it is arguably pretty cute to see rats in little pumpkin sweaters and even the IT department’s pet pig dressed up. This yeah he’s going as Pey'j from Beyond Good & Evil! But please, stop putting costumes on your owls. Nobody should be looking at one of nature’s most fine-tuned nocturnal hunters and think “I need to put a princess dress on her.”

Jess Faux!

Hello again friends! Jonathan and Emily have let me take over as your Halloween “Master of Scaremonies” for the rest of the month! Get ready to set your dial to spoopy as we count up to the best holiday of the entire year!

I’m of course talking about November 1st! The day when we all go out and buy Halloween decorations on clearance to use as everyday house decor the rest of the year!

Jess Faux!

Halloween Tip #2

Humor aside, be cool this year. If you haven’t already grabbed some kind of non-candy treat alternative go for it. Even just something small you can get in one of those “party favors” bags they sell anywhere that has birthday goods makes a world of difference to kids with allergies. If you want an alternative to both candy and toys, try using your metamorphmagus powers to make your face look just like their mother’s and say something outrageous in a silly tone. Kids get a kick out of that. Parents not so much. .

Jess Faux!

>Halloween Tip #4 So like, if you want to do something creative for Halloween just… Um…. Well you can always like- take a sheet and maybe put it over a lamp or something and I guess you have a lightup ghost? Listen I’m way too deep into the new season of Stranger Things right now to be creative!

JF!

So of course I’m getting a lot of questions about who I went as for Halloween, mostly because I can literally change my face to become almost any character...

I went as “Not Harley Quinn”. It was the most original costume at the party. I just got a white shirt and sharpied the words “Not Harley Quinn” on it. Amazing I was the only girl at the party who was not Harley Quinn this year.