@defira85 MADE MY EDGY BABY

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@defira85 MADE MY EDGY BABY

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I don't think Alde figures it out until sometime after the first kid. I think it takes a long, long time of normalcy and safety and almost more happiness than Alde can stand, first. And then it's watching Adana (Adran) come out of his shell, laughing and playing and being gentle and joyful with their daughter while wearing a man's face and calling herself husband and father that finally makes it... click, makes the quiet, tightly coiled misery around Alde's heart start to unwind for the first time in his life.
I want that. I can have that. I can be that.
And from there, everything starts to fall into place. All of the self-loathing and repulsion finally starts to fall away. Alde's always had a bit of an odd relationship to his sexuality, in that he wanted to be present, but absolutely wanted no part in it-- sex and murder are far, far too entwined for a Bhaalspawn, and between Alde having had violent compulsions toward 2/3 of his romantic partners (and having enacted them on one of them!) and being horrifically dysphoric over both the Bhaalspawn AND the gender things, it was most comfortable just to Not involve himself in it at all beyond spectator and/or heckler.
And well, what's the point of being besties with an Archmage (and of all the tadfools Alde isn't sleeping with, Gale is absolutely his bestie and favorite) if you can't needle a True Polymorph assisted transition out of 'em-- so there's the dysphoria solved.
What effect that has on Alde's Bhaalspawn nature and/or conditional immortality I'm still not sure of-- Gale could totally vivisect the godhood out of Alde if Alde asked him to. Alde would certainly be happier if he didn't have to terribly outlive 2/3 of his spouses. The pseudo-immortality was more of a self-flagellating compromise on the part of very miserable little girl Alde-- Alde would play whatever part he had to play in his loved ones' happiness until they died, and then he'd get to go on to his sad, lonely journey of penance as a traveling paladin.
But if we're ALREADY getting our best buddy the archmage to throw around 9th level spells for fun & dysphoria reducing purposes...
Yeah. Alde would be so, so, SO much happier as a regular degular human. Are murder daddy and his lackeys going to still have a terrible fixation on Alde for as long as Alde lives? Yeah, probably. But giving Alde a normal human lifespan?
That's...
All Alde has ever wanted was to die before the people he loves. I mean, previously that was because he was certain that otherwise he was going to be forced to murder them himself, but--
There's a kind of poetry to it, that. Alde finally getting what he has always wanted-- and getting it as an old man, of natural causes and in bed, surrounded by the people who adored him and kept him alive (...or oversaw his resurrection) during his worst suicidal and homicidal tendencies, as well as a whole host of children and grandchildren besides.
There is no penance for him to earn-- there's just the one and only life he has to live, and finally he can live it for himself, and the people he loves.
no,,, no i really DO have to make Alde bard 3/paladin 9. i SO wanted all the gloomstalker goodies for her but. even from the very first ANYTHING i ever wrote for her, she describes music as something that helps keep her urges at bay. there is simply no fucking way she doesn't desperately follow that lead.
girlie was desperate enough to turn to RELIGION. she's definitely not above joining an emo band picking up the lute.
For the character ask thing: 5, 11, 12 and 19 for Adana and Alde; 11, 12 and 19 for Tristana <3
oh wow!! so many :o thank you Elle <33333
questions from here!
under a cut for length
Your OC as a Flower
I was tagged by @defira85 a good bit ago, picked out everyone's flowers, and then completely forgot to make the post. oops!
Adana Taveth
Daffodils, the first flowers of spring, the first pop of sunshine after the gloom of winter. They pop up first, and then they keep coming back in the same place, year after year after year. This is also why they're her favorite flowers, too.
Alde the Dark Urge
A pale flower almost exclusively used for weddings and funerals. To quote one symbol dictionary, "Purity, Innocence, Tranquility, Love, Unity, Lifetime partnership, Restored innocence of the soul (funerary)" Alde is a fiercely loyal little baby bird born only yesterday, and her past self had to die for her to get here.
Tristana Bergen
A beautiful, striking, tough little thing blooming in terrible and desolate places, in muck and stagnant water. Symbols of death, transformation, and rebirth. Spider lilies are believed especially 'to grow near graves or abandoned children.' To give someone a spider lily is to 'give them permission to die.' Perfect for my 'festering wound of a woman' (affectionate)
Aaaaaand I will uhhhh give an open tag to anyone who wants to play! idr who's been tagged already

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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the image of Alde, not quite sure what her place is in all of this and her relationship to the bear in question once Adana and Shadowheart start sleeping with Halsin, stumbling into the little farmhouse kitchen half-asleep and blinking at him a few times before climbing up onto a chair so she can reach to kiss him on the cheek before going on with her day,
has officially got me fuckin good so. that's happening now. that is happening.
bloodspattered baby.png
An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works
Three people who shouldn't be alive. Three people who have something to hide. You've already trusted these people with your life; trusting them with something else should be easy, right? Right?
Or: the girlies are having a no good, very bad beach episode, actually.