Top Posts Tagged with #mentalness

4 out of 10 on life scale :]

yquenada, Six is a good place to be i guess!

I’m at a 4 because I hate the place I live in( I just moved back to this city and it’s where all my trauma occurred) , I’m sick (also drinking robotussin, I hope I make sense) at the moment, Kaji , my fluffy cat number 2 won’t cuddle with me and I keep having nightmares. I don’t what to do about school. All of my friends are going through hard times and I wana be strong for them (which I am) but it makes me feel isolated because I usually tell my best friends my night mare stuff. I have no therapist, because I moved here, I really need one, for the dream/ ptsd stuff, because I’ve become such a such in. Like I count the scale as:

1- the worst you’ve ever been

4- is kinda like, I’m not doing too well, but I know I will get there.

10- the longest best moment in your life.

so yeah I’m at about a four. I should take an average of my life throughout my ages, because I’ve had some good times.

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I know all this shit will get better. The dreams get better when I am less stressed..

#mentalness #yquenada #aniexty

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So going along with my last post I really wish I could change the way I think. The way my mind works. I don't even want to be able to move things with my mind (even though that'd be pretty cool). I just want to be able to think...fluidly. I don't know I just feel like my thoughts are..boxes. They sit next to each other and touch only just barely. Once one thought is finished another starts up but not without that break. Does that make sense? Like there's no continuity with it all and I feel like that's wrong. Like there are times when I'm in a great mood and don't hurt at all and I can feel myself thinking differently like I want to. How do I keep that? Why do I go back to this strict thinking style? And why is there ALWAYS at least one song playing behind all of my thoughts? Always? Is that normal?

Also I feel like I don't feel things the way I should. Normal emotions normally don't register with me. Like death. I don't get really upset. I don't cry hysterically or even at all at first. It takes a while and it takes me thinking about it a lot before I shed a tear. I've always thought that was weird.

But then there's other things in my head that make me cry so easily. If I'm listening to a song and the singer hits the right tone. Anything to do with relationships in my life, say my friend ignores me for too long. Being yelled at. I guess it's all kinda normal and I'm just over thinking things but at the same time I've always felt like my brain was wired wrong..

#thought #mentalness #weird

It's a weird dichotomy to know you don't want people to talk about you, but worry that no-one is.

#life #mentalness #brain stuff

TVDMe: I'm going to miss TVD tomorrow D:

Me:But then again baristaing is a lot of fun..... Sooo maybe it'll make up for it.

Me: BUT I'M MISSING TVD!

Me: Then again...

Friend: Um... Rhea.... STOP TALKING TO YOURSELF.

#TVD #Coffee #Mentalness