#mentality.

A.   DANDELION     ——     YOU GREW UP TOO FAST,   &   all you know is the calluses on your fists   &   the thousand invisible scars that you pretend don’t ache.   your anger burns so bright, so hot, or maybe not at all, so deep you could never tell it was there.   you are yours   &   you will defend that to the death after so many years of being ripped apart,   &   denied your own agency,   &   maybe you are still facing the bastards who stole your innocence but you will survive  BECAUSE THAT’S THE ONLY THING YOU KNOW HOW TO DO WITHOUT BREAKING,  the only thing you know besides protect, protect, protect, protect.   yourself, or sometimes those few others who you claim as yours.   you are a thousand sharp edges but impenetrable, a traumatized child so covered by thorny armor that you promised yourself you’re grown now, you’re stronger than anyone who has ever hurt you.   you’re safe.   nothing will ever hurt you again.   you’re so alone though sometimes, in a world that sees you as too much or too broken or too angry or too hurt,   &   you want to scream with the too much of it, prove that you’re okay, that you’re self reliant, that you are  STRONG ENOUGH TO STAKE YOUR CLAIM,  on your body, on your mind, on your heart, on your people,   &   protect it from any who dare take it away from you.   you are the sea in a tempest, a howling sky, a tsunami in action,  a force of nature,  no matter how much you sometimes yearn to be still, to be safe, to be small.   you are a dandelion, stubborn   &   determined to grow in the rockiest of soil,   &   bloom again in spring.

A.   MELANCHOLIC ROMANTICISM     ——     corroded kisses,   riding the subway at 3am,   reluctance  :     you’re melancholic romanticism.   like old coffee gone bitter   &   sharp,   melancholic romanticism is not all as bad as it seems.   there’s often solace to be found in this type of romance,   &   many find it comforting.   you’re most likely   a lone,   free thinker,   plagued by your own thoughts   &   feelings,   or so you think.   partners never seem to love you enough,   &   you discover their imperfections all too soon.   you’ve noticed you feel more   ALONE   with them around than you do by yourself.   you don’t hide from people themselves,   you simply elude love,   which isn’t to say you’re not interested in a bit of romance here   &   there.   sometimes you just wish you could fall in love with   the moon,   she’d understand you.     “     every word has consequences.   every silence,   too.     ”     —jean-paul sartre.

friendly  reminder  that  faith  knew  of  joseph’s  plans,  that  joseph  may  have  trusted  her  that  much  but  she  literally  fucking  says  ‘if  he  doesn’t  get  his  way,  he’ll  blow  up  montana.’    faith  is  the  one  that  predicts  the  end  of  the  game  and  nobody  believes  her  because  ‘she’s  a  liar,’   she  says  the  deputy  will  save  the  sheriff,  also  leaving  open  the  fact  that  his  control  on  the  sheriff  was  lessened  because  she  probably  didn’t  want  to  kill  the  man.   she  predicted  everything,  told  the  deputy  out  right  that  joseph  was  incredibly,  incredibly  dangerous  and  the  continuous  pattern  of  violent  rebellion  will  set  him  off  BUT  DID  THE  DEPUTY  LISTEN.

𝐀 :    BECAUSE YOU WERE MEANT TO.    ——    it was built into you.  designed for you.  there is pain here because it was meant for you,   &   how fucking dare they ?  your suffering is not their right.  you hurt because they gave you ways to suffer   &   carved it into you when you could not breathe,   because the intention always was that they could  WEAPONIZE YOUR PAIN  against you.  it is yours.  you are yours.  how fucking dare they.  they cannot make you theirs ;  do not let them try.