Send 📱 for five texts my muse didn’t send yours, and one that they did

five she didn’t:

american pancakes are shit i feel like im eating styrofoam

I’m a Mutant and a Faerie. I’m one of the people the Dominators want gone.

found out a friend of mine got hurt my an insane clown asshole pls talk me out of finding this man and killing him

need a 2nd opinion should i rick roll this guy or

[ attached picture of a cupcake ] ur my cuppy cake, sugar

and one she did (well two but they’re technically one text, sent in two parts for emphasis):

send help ive been listening to 90s music on youtube for the last hour. and by that i mean the meme ones

me: YOUR UNCLE DIEEEED, YOU'RE FEELIN' LOWWW, YOU GOT TO BURY YO MAMA, BUT YOU DON'T KNOW WHERE TO GOOOOO, YOUR PAPA NEEDS, HIS FINAL REST, YOU GOT YOU GOT TO GIVE THEM THE BEST! (woaaahhhoh)