#schoolfriends

दोस्ती सिर्फ एक रिश्ता नहीं, ये जिंदगी की सबसे खूबसूरत कहानी है। बचपन के वो दिन याद हैं जब बिना किसी वजह के घंटों बातें होती थीं, हंसी के फव्वारे छूटते थे और हर छोटी खुशी मिलकर मनाई जाती थी। वक्त के साथ ज़िम्मेदारियां बढ़ीं, मुलाकातें कम हुईं और दोस्ती की चमक जैसे फीकी पड़ गई। लेकिन सच्ची दोस्ती कभी पुरानी नहीं होती, बस उसे फिर से जगाने की जरूरत होती है। इस फ्रेंडशिप डे पर शिकायतों को किनारे रखिए और अपने बचपन के दोस्तों को वही पुराना प्यार महसूस कराइए। उन्हें फोन की एक घंटी या एक प्यारा सा मैसेज भी पुराने दिनों को लौटा सकता है। छोटी-छोटी बातें, प्यारी यादें और दिल से निकली हंसी ही तो जिंदगी को आसान बनाती हैं। क्योंकि दोस्त वही होते हैं जो मुश्किल वक्त में भी मुस्कान ले आएं। तो चलिए, इस बार सिर्फ फ्रेंडशिप डे नहीं मनाते, बल्कि दोस्ती को फिर से जीते हैं – जैसे वो बचपन के दिनों में जीया करते थे।

Is it just me or do adult friendships feel like they require a lot more maintenance than they did before.

I mean, it makes sense in a way coz you’re not always around each other anymore since school or college got over, so you would need to put in extra effort to share the same kind of dynamic, but at the same time it also doesn’t make sense coz as an adult you clearly have a lot more going on in life and it just becomes so overwhelming to be on top of everything and be answerable to a friend at the same time about why you don’t call enough?

Sure there is that whole saying that “If they care, they’ll make time” but that just feels really unfair and puts a lot of unnecessary pressure. There is genuinely a lot on my plate and do I wish I could share that with someone? Of course. But do I want my friendship to become nothing but a vent bag? No. So I choose to make contact when I can offer both the good and the bad, but I think that’s whats causing an issue on the timeline and I have lost a couple of friendships over the last two years alone, just because of this.

I've had half-assed friends all my life, people who I just talk to everyday about mundane things, people I just greet regularly or do things together occasionally. But then there are 'Friends' who stay by you through stuff we go through we forget their presence, who tell you things that you need to hear rather than the things you want to hear, who reachout to you despite all the distance and hurdles, who genuinely want the best for you, who smile unknowingly when they know you are happy, who defend you without you ever knowing you, who aggressively shower you with love and care and so many many things.

Highschool was the time I found my friends and where millions others too found them. Highschool friends are a different kind of comfort, where we are so unashamedly ourselves. Because they would've witnessed a very juvenile, embarassing version of us and for most of us that is the best way to stay grounded. We don't have to reintroduce ourselves to them despite us remodeling ourselves every other year to be a better individual. They are the friends that we can wear sweatpants with and lean on eachother, eyes closed. They're either the friends that we can be completely intimate and homely with or comfortable enough to try every ridiculous thing this world has to offer.

But then there are the friends that we make in college, where we already have a developed personality and know ourselves and what we expect from friends. College friends are usually a whole new genre, where everyone are so different and unique but somehow all of us would be co-existing perfectly well. Somewhere between school and college, I think we all learn to place our judgements aside and make friends beyond it all. And that's where the fun comes in, where we see things beyond what we usually would have, and experience life on another level.

Friends from different communities bond over different things and have a different way the relationship works. A couple of friends from work are more realistically functional, whereas friends from an art class are supportive of each others works. So many communities, so many levels of friendships and yet more than half the population of this world feel so alone in it. Not because of the lack of support from them, but rather our expectations from the ideal of friendship.