me: *double clicks web browser so that I may work*

Microsoft: *opens Microsoft Teams because that's what they know I really wanted...all users are imbeciles muahaha only microsoft knows what is to be done*

work-PC with Microsoft: So you want to upload a file? Go ahead. Try clicking the downloads-folder butto-- frozen!  Your OS file manager is FROZEN! Better try control alt delete. This is going to repeat every time you try to upload a file today. LOL maybe try rebooting! [subtext - rebooting does not help]

Me (a Mac user): 

PC: Yes, and it will crash often. 

Me: What if I just clean out my downloads folder so there’s nothing in it? 

PC: That would actually make the problem worse, somehow. 

Mac: Your file upload is...complete.

pc: boots up from sleep slowly in 5-10 minutes after installing some updates without asking

Mac: boots up from sleep in under a second ready to work

PC: Wait, you want this spreadsheet as a .CSV? What have I done to make you want to betray me? *cocks shotgun* Why do you hate me? *crazed looks sweeps across face* Why have you forsaken me? *removes shirt* Who are you?? Where am I??? Raaaaa!!!! [subtext - plz DM me if MS Excel lets you download as a .csv, that would be news to me, and Microsoft doesn’t understand SEO so their stuff is not very Google-able]

Mac / Google Sheets: Here is your .CSV. 

PC: So you downloaded a file. Let’s play a game- can you guess which folder your file downloaded to this time? The prize is, you get to access the file you downloaded. 

Me: *can’t find file I just downloaded* “Maybe if I check my recent downloads...”

PC: Your recent downloads “quick access” folder contains files exclusively from 1997 - your machine was built in 2018. Nothing in this folder can be deleted. 

Mac: Your file is ready in your downloads folder. 

PC: Icon to “Crop image” changes monthly - is not the industry standard crop icon

Mac: Image is pre-cropped with a hotkey

PC: Hey we noticed a spelling error, and have put a red squiggly line under it, HOWEVER, no matter how many times you click on the suggested correct spelling, we WILL NOT, under any circumstances, update your word for you. You are going to have to memorize the correct spelling and type it out manually even though we let you click on the correct spelling and it disappears as a result, can’t let our users get too comfy!