#megamander

Everyone talks about Baroness, but a lot of G.I. Joe villains are pretty hot, yeah

“Wait, you think the slithery mashup between Palpatine and Mad-Eye Moody is—?”

Excuse me, you forgot Professor X

“More like Lex Luther lmao”

Okay and—?

(Ugh, when a villain makes that scrunched up smile)

(Mf escaped in the movie, btw)

“I shouldn’t have said anything. Can we just be normal about this?”

Both of us: No

This is an essential component of the conversation☝️

But just to make ya happy~ 👋

. In the first issue, CC gets into some trouble that he may or may not have instigated because the people (they’re not humans like CC but, like, parallel to them I guess) of this secret society known as Cobra-La started finding out about his secret boyfriend that he gets freaky with “the metal monstrosity” that CC found + started researching/experimenting on/torturing um—

“Wut”

“Some trouble?”

. Aw, that blonde girl looked like my human version of Nova Storm, RIP

(And I’m startin’ to wonder if I have a thing for characters with long ponytails)

. He’s fine. Kinda…

. After recovering, Golobulus (the badass so bad that he’s all sass and no ass leader of Cobra-La) summons CC to watch him be executed personally, because he disapproves of CC’s relationship dislikes anything and everything metal, apparently, and “values” organic life

. Ya know, in the same way that Megatron “values” sentient metal?

. Most overarching theme of the EU so far, here we go:

Sentient life, whether organic or inorganic, should not be measured in how useful it is for the purposes of conquest

“Yes, war is bad, conquest is bad. We know that”

Alright, lemme rephrase:

When we look at trees, what do we see? Wood? A home for animals? Complex systems working together to create a living masterpiece of color and texture that changes with time?

“Are you starting to say that it’s bad to cut down trees? You hoard love paper, so”

TO RESPECT LIFE, NO MATTER WHAT KIND, YOU MUST MAINTAIN BALANCE

We need to cut down trees? Ok so plant more trees to try and compensate

We domesticated animals for several purposes? Food? Clothing? Transport? Companionship? Treat them as humanely as possible

You don’t like other members of your species, but need to rely on them because society?

AT LEAST. TREAT. THEM. WITH. RESPECT

And as someone who works in a service type job, some of the folks who walk in don’t show nearly as much politeness/kindness/basic respect as they really should (and they ain’t got no charisma like Megs, CC + Golo), especially when it involves providing a form of care ✂️☠️🪮

“Alright! Chill chill chill chill—”

And now you know why I started reading Skybound ☺️

“Because villains and their entertaining drama” 😑

. Golo summoning CC was stupid (or…was it? 👀), because CC manipulates him into letting him go on this road trip to locate energy signatures or whatever, one of which is located all the way in Florida

. He leaves (and he actually does plan to come back) but not before bidding Megatron goodbye via another freaky session of theirs ⚡️⚡️⚡️

(This was the only time Megatron had any sort of aura besides his escape imo. As soon as I read Issue #13 whatever aura I saw him radiate had completely decayed lmao)

*Proceeds to breakout, get into a nasty fight with Golo so bad that he’s rendered blind as the metalphobe threw a trident in his remaining eye yay*

(Too bad the writers didn’t actually do anything with his blindness tho. I hc him as having vision problems which makes his troops using him in gun mode even more sensible with all the other reasons I listed 💔 🥀)

(“Okay so get over it and make that part of your AU”)

“If Golobulus hates metal so much then what’s the trident made out of—?”

. CC didn’t go alone, as the “Enforcer” (disguised as a human) is ordered to accompany him as a bodyguard

(T-There’s no need for me to show you what he does to this snake)

. Ok I lied he’s not. He reveals his true form + tries to kill CC once they eventually beat Resident Evil 7 featuring the Dreadnoks (led by Zarana) + a scientist working with energon (an impure version but it still works and this will be mentioned later in the main G.I. Joe series) that CC frees and “hires”

. Idk too much about them outside of Skybound, but I guess they all have Commonwealth accents (based), have a biker aesthetic and behave like Insecticons in that they choose when they want to listen (and selective hearing towards superiors will never not be funny)

. The Nemesis Enforcer…yeah (that snake was invasive but wtf), CC breaks ties with Cobra-La-La Land to form just Cobra (Golo throws a fit lol your disowned son likes metalheads deal with it while Pythona leaves to explore space) + allies with Destro

. Hell yeah we do 9.9/10 but if you don’t wanna see human blood + gore skip all good 👍

. The only thing was that they explicitly referred to CC as manipulative. Show don’t tell

We can infer that Megs is a manipulative bastard (and always has been since Sunbow + Marvel, but I understand why people don’t talk about that trait of his as it certainly gets overshadowed by his constant stupid decisions hehe), but heroic characters can have good manipulation skills too as Duke manipulates Baroness in his miniseries into sparing him

Makes for a good parallel between them 👍

Ooo what’s this 💻👀

YOOOOOOOOOO LET’S GO JOE DON’T TREAD ON MEEEEEEEEE 🔥🇺🇸🐍🇺🇸🔥