#medboy789

context: before Arkn: Legacy, before Unity, when I was just starting out in the Arkn Mythos, there were a handful of popular series in what is now called the Old Arkn Mythos. Michael's Camera, ACryFromWinter, and Medboy789 were considered the "big 3."

me and a few other minors, as stupid minors do, had this Skype chat we called "the Sin Chat" where we explored our sexualities and such, talked about NSFW content, the way stupid teenagers are.

at one point, one of the actors in Medboy789 - the guy that played Asmodeus - was added to this chat. something about his behavior didn't quite sit right with me, but I could never pin it down for certain. it later came to light that he was leading on another one of my minor friends and attempting to groom them. this became an open secret to the point where me and others often privately referred to the actor as "kiddietoucher [his name here]". 

the guy that ran acryfromwinter also played "kink games" with us, where he would ask us to name our kinks and then name some of his own. we thought he was joking. again, it came to light later on that his joking about "consensual cannibalism" was an /actual thing he was into/. the worst part about this was that he seemed to know it was wrong and apologized for doing it several times, but kept on doing it regardless

I have very few images from that time. All of it lies on the scrubbed clean Skype servers from years past.

there are so many other genuinely creepy fucking stories I can point to, like people in the "inner circle" of arkn using my special interest and natural infatuation with my at-the-time crush Michael to get me to keep talking to them and outright grooming it into something nasty and sexual... but it's just. it's a lot to handle, coming out about all of this. I am still so fucking afraid that friends or coworkers of mine might get hurt by my discussing this, and I want to do my best to make sure that isn't the case.

I'm so fucking afraid to come out about this. I'm so fucking afraid and it's taking all my strength not to delete this shit right away but it's out in the open now and I can't take it back. 

/This/ is the shit I went through trying to create in Old Arkn. The grooming, being lied to, being screamed at because people thought I was one of Michael's "mindless little drones," having my work outright vandalized because people were aiming for Michael and hit me instead.

It was /exactly/ the kind of shit I wanted to avoid when making Arkn: Legacy, and it was the reason I kept pressing on while making it, because I never want any of the wonderful fucking creators I've called my friends to deal with the shit I dealt with.

I have to live with what they did to me and the things I did because I thought I could trust D-vid and T-ny, once upon a time. Because it was cool to be sexual, then. Because it was cool to bully another innocent creator, who was a lot like me, out of the Arkn Mythos.

Never again. Never the hell again. This is what I went through as a young creator in the Arkn Mythos, and as one of the Administrators of the current Arkn Mythos, as the Lead Director of Arkn: Legacy, I won't be silent about it.

sidenote, but this is also why I used to break the fuck down at any of the slightest criticisms of Arkn Mythos, because it felt like I metaphorically bled myself at the altar to continue working inside it and to make a space where creators could feel safe to create inside it.

there was more than just Asmodeus's actor, Kyle, and Tony being creepy to me. there was another member of the community known as Wander who sexually harassed and stalked me. he also harassed another person who I will not name, as I would rather they come forward when they wish.

he would often ask how big the breast sizes of my characters were, and speak incredibly lewdly in my DMs when I was still a minor. this was behavior I called him out on in public chats. when I blocked him, he proceeded to go /to my Tumblr/ to dm me, unasked. (important note: -I didn't give him my Tumblr,- which implies he did his cyberdigging and found it himself).

wander was caught masturbating on call to the sound of another creator's voice during a q and a session, and yet people in the community still didn't outright push him out even though he was known to prey on AFAB creators in the arkn mythos. old arkn was full of that kind of shit.

the thing is? not only was Tony, one of the "big three" creators of the Arkn Mythos, one of its original -founders,- a creepy sleazebag, not only was Kiddietoucher Kyle known for preying on younger high school girls and bragging about it in private

David, the creator of Medboy789, fucking knew about this behavior from both of them and tried to cover it up. Not only did he try to hold the Arkn Mythos wiki hostage over a petty feud he had with Michael and erupt in a screaming rage that left me traumatized, not only did he lie and let jokes from his friends about me sucking Michael’s cock, having nudes of Michael’s, slide unchallenged, but the whole time he was covering up the shit that’s been weighing down my shoulders for fucking years now and it makes me furious.

that fucking sickens me that Tony, Kyle, and all the others would groom me into what I became and then let others make lying, hateful jokes about me doing nsfw shit with a good friend of mine. That they would constantly try to manipulate me and others into whatever they needed at the time - “bully this person out of the Mythos,” “be a creepy little shit,” and more.

Working in Old Arkn as a minor was a nightmare precisely because of people like this. Tony and David played favorites and if they didn't like you, you would be pushed out or they would do their utmost to make your time working in the Mythos hell. Whether they intended it or not, talented and brilliant creators like me, Flynn and Iyana were pushed out of the Old Arkn Mythos due to their manipulation, fighting with Michael, pettiness and covering up of sexual behavior.

It's why I'm glad Arkn: Legacy, the part of the Mythos I run, has become a space where people like me can share their trauma through beautiful and meaningful narratives. So much of my work there has been informed from the grooming and manipulation I was put through and the effects it had on my mental state for years afterward. 

The fact that people now have a safe space, free of predators, in the Arkn Mythos makes me more glad than anything I can think of. I’m going to try my hardest to keep it that way. 

I guess what I'm trying to say is, well I'm glad I've gotten this all off my back. Thank you, all those who have come forward to support me and my experience. This has haunted me for years. The fact that I have it off my back now is not only cathartic, but freeing.

Others can confirm what I went through. Did I do some stupid shit when I was younger? Yes. Was I manipulative and cruel, and contributed to Tony and David pushing out people because I trusted their word? Yes. 

SO MUCH OF IT was because Tony, David and others manipulated and groomed me into the behavior I had, but part of that came from me and I own up to that. 

I’ve made my peace with accepting the wrongs I committed in the situation when I was a young, stupid and foolish minor - and believe me, there were many - and now it’s time for me to make my peace with speaking out about what they did to me, my friends and my work. That’s all I have to say.

SHORT EDIT: Michael was one of the people that helped me feel safe enough - and gave me the platform - to come out about the wrongs David and Tony have done to me and others He’s a good friend of mine and for the sake of keeping things clear, I would rather not hear him talked about as if he is on the same level as those two. There are many things he’s done wrong in the past, but he’s a changed person and helped bring the full extent of what Kiddietoucher Kyle was doing to my attention.