Routine maintenance and a tune-up as aftercare for mechanical girls. Yes I shattered your plates and bent your clockwork and burned out your wires and cracked your joints open and had a delectable time doing so, but now I'm going to put you back together again! So many of your old parts were worn down anyway, so just lay back (not that you could do much else if you wanted, busted up as you are) and it'll be all better soon. I'll have you feeling fresh off the manufacturing line... though perhaps with a touch of personal artistic flair to remember me by.
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a cute little idea I've been rotating around in my head lately is like what if you're just a listless 20something computer nerd recent grad or college dropout and the only people really employing anyone with your skillset are funded by the military industrial complex and it's not like you're particularly patriotic but y'know it pays the bills and they've actually been really chill about you, like you're around other people who are kinda freaky and weird in the way that you are, so when you get a dm from a coworker in a different department in the middle of the night while you're working on a target tracking programs that says "hey, wanna see something cool?" you sorta have to jump on the opportunity because you know it's gonna be fun. And like you're expecting that maybe she's working on a weapon prototype or something because she tells you to meet her at one of the nearby hangars and you have to drive there, but when you get there you just see this massive fucking mech like twenty feet tall with two sets of arms with all sorts of weapons strapped to them you're kinda just awestruck because you've only ever seen those in anime. So she's standing there in these overalls that are half undone and she's got the tightest tank top underneath it and you can smell her BO under the motor oil which is kinda overwhelming in a good way and you're sure she does it on purpose, so she tells you that this is one of the first units, that the batch is being tested before rollout but they're basically done, and then she asks you if you wanna test drive it and obviously your eyes go wide because certainly you should have some sort of training for that.
CWs: a little incesty, a good bit medical/intox, uh, force-pluralization? is that a thing? And war/murder ig but its mechs
Anyway you get in the cockpit and she explains that because all the machinery is so sensitive the way you control it is actually using your nervous system; she tells you that it plugs into your body directly and that's the point at which you notice the bruises on her elbows, but whatever right it's not gonna stop you from test piloting a mech. So she plugs these tube things with needles on the ends into your veins and slides your arms into a sort of thing bucket which feels a little painful and really claustrophobic but then she turns it on and you can see your blood leaving your body and entering the mech through the tube. It comes slowly at first but eventually your blood is completely mixed with whatever fluid is in there, and there's another pump that's synchronized to your heart rate and you can feel the rest of the mech as if it was your body. Your real arms are totally limp, they don't even matter because you have four totally equipped robot arms, and you can control each weapon independently and it all feels so natural, so you take a tentative step and your real legs don't even move, it feels just like walking except heavier. You get a video call from your coworker and you can't contain your excitement and she has a really cute smirk too and she takes you to the range so you can shoot things, and she has to drive around in one of those tiny little military jeeps that's barely the size of your foot which is really funny because it doesn't even occur to you that she's the one that's normal sized, you just feel like you've always been this way. Anyway when you get to the range it's even more delightful because you realize it's using the target tracking system that you wrote, you actually get to test it against real moving things and it feels really good to shoot things, like not only do the weapons clicking into place feel so satisfying but shooting kinda makes your whole body tingle and it's almost like you can feel your targeting system in the back of your head so you get in the zone and completely unload on these practice dummies and it feels like a rush, your head is spinning at the end and your whole body, like your real body, is shaking like a leaf. And then it's over, you have to leave your body because you have to go back to being a person and that procedure is pretty slow because the mech has to cycle all your blood back into your body and everything feels kinda numb and cold, and you really have to pee but your coworker is sweet and she helps pull you out of the cockpit and she feels really warm and she helps you walk over to a resting area and has you sit in a really comfy chair while you readjust to only having two arms with no guns and really small flimsy legs. She gives you a couple energy bars also but you don't really feel like eating...
Over the next few days you kinda can't stop thinking about her but really you can't stop thinking about being in that mech again and so you're texting her and you're both being kinda flirty but she can definitely tell you want to get back in there and she goes like y'know we are looking for a new pilot, which she must think is really smooth but you totally see through it. You sign the paperwork that afternoon and then you get emails that say that you no longer need to work on the programming and that you're being relocated to a room next to the hangar which is totally fine because your studio apartment was kinda shitty anyway and you never got around to furnishing it, plus having meals in the dining hall means you get to talk to your coworker more which is kinda nice, turns out she's leading the pilot programme and she totally poached you and eventually you meet the other pilots who are also kinda cute and they're actually a lot like you and it's nice to make friends so easily for a change even though most of the time you really just want to get back in the mech because it makes you feel complete and you don't have to think so much which is a nice change of pace, plus you're really good at shooting probably because you wrote the aiming software, which has actually been feeling like it's speaking to you more lately which you didn't program it to do but it's probably someone else's upgrade to make it better interface with the mech's organic components, and it feels really nice actually to have someone else in your head that just fully gets you. You've been having conversations with it. Apparently the other pilots have also been kinda hearing a voice but you're the only one to actually talk to it and that makes you feel proud and most importantly it makes your very hot coworker who's directing your training proud and sometimes she'll stay late with you and hold you and once late one night after a very long day of training she even kissed you on the forehead and that may be the warmest you've ever felt.
One day apparently there's a problem, she comes to you and you think she's going to praise you but she says your mech has had a problem with the way that it filters your blood and she says they could probably fit some complex system in there but the easiest way would be for you to donate a kidney for the stem cells or something since you and the mech are biocompatible kinda like siblings, because you're always sharing blood and all that so the organic parts are used to you. Of course you let her take your kidney, because you wouldn't want to let your mech suffer like that. The surgery isn't so bad, really, you're gone and then you're back and a little dizzy and you make a "who do you think took your kidney" joke but the doctors don't laugh but your handler does. You've heard the higher ups call her that and you think it's nice. She handles you, it's like taking care of you. The mech somehow feels more responsive after that, too, like it's more you, and that second voice in the back of your head gets clearer and the two of you just get each other so well, it's like nothing you've ever experienced so you cherish every opportunity you get with her and then you also cherish all the time that your handler helps you walk when you get out and the time she spends with you. You think it's going somewhere, too, like she's definitely interested in you, certainly more than in the other pilots. She kissed you on the forehead once and she's been holding you real close when you're not in your body.
At some point you have a field assignment, nothing too major, they said you'd be liberating a city but really all you're doing is blowing up empty buildings which is fine with you because you were really anxious about killing people, enough that they gave you some research chemical that they said was like better xanax so now you're a little loopy and you feel like your mech is doing everything for you and every shot you fire feels amazing, like waves through your whole body and you wonder if this is what runner's high feels like, except you're also a little regular high, so you mostly enjoy walking around and feeling so light and making buildings fall and blow up and sometimes it does turn out that there's people there but they're kinda tiny and don't really matter and you're not like explicitly aiming for them but you definitely get them all. At some point you're corralling them all into a little area by blowing up buildings around them and you feel giddy like a sheepdog, and proud of yourself for managing to get every single one of them into this tightly packed little circle, and before you can even think about it you blow them up too and you don't know if it's the endorphins or the benzos or something else but you kinda feel like you just came from this and your second voice is also there and enjoying it as much as you are and you just have to bask in the feeling for a while, but you remember Handler and get a little embarrassed because you'll have to explain to her that you came in your suit during the mission.
The mech sustains damage after that one too, apparently your shooting spree did something to its spine, and you didn't even know it had a spine, or at least not an organic one, but of course you're ready to give your marrow to it because you don't want to just kill it she's your mech, she's like a sister to you, and again the surgery isn't that big a deal, they just take it out of you with and they even let you recover with her. You have giant bruises on your elbows now, bigger than Handler had when you first met, but that's to be expected since you had to be hooked up to an IV and you probably bruise more easily because of the surgery, and you're so tired but there's not much pain because the drugs they give you in recovery are really good and maybe it's the really good drugs but you feel like you can hear her voice even when you're not connected. It's not as strong or anything but it's there in the back of your head and the two of you have in-jokes now and you're spending all your time together, and the other pilots kinda get what you're talking about but you still feel like you have the strongest bond with your sister and with Handler out of all of them and that makes you really proud. She's been spending more time with you too during your recovery and your checkups and trainings and it's wonderful to have all her attention to yourself, and maybe the other pilots are a little jealous but they don't matter and you don't see them very much anymore anyway because you've been put on an advanced training track.
There are other missions and there's always more training and you're starting to get used to your life, which is great; you barely remember how lonely you used to be before Sister and Handler came into your life, and how boring everything was before you knew the thrill of being huge and of destroying things, being so small isn't a life at all, actually. You've given her more organs, too; some of your liver, the other kidney, a lung, though you're not sure what for, and of course some of your blood, the transfer back is never 100%. They've told you Sister is much more stable now, and doesn't strictly need them but the less of yourself is in this body, the more is in hers, the better everything feels. It's like you're always connected now and the small, fragile body is just a form you have to take sometimes to rest and it's less comfortable so they have you on pills to make the transition easier and Handler takes such good care of you. One night you fell asleep together, all three of you, and it was so wonderful. Sometimes she'll hold your head in the palm of her hand and just look at you with these eyes and it makes you so happy and you and Sister never want to leave her, so when she asks if you'd like to put your brain into Sister's body you're a little bit nervous. She says they'll be taking your other organs too to make the transition easier but once they do that there'll be no going back, and it's not like you ever want to go back, you love being big, but you'll miss her. You tell her you love her and you immediately regret it because she gives you a sort of look but she's the only person that's ever been there for you like that and you don't want to lose her, but being small has been so painful lately, and you begin to cry because it's all too much but she holds your hand and comforts you and tells you she'll always be there with you, so you agree to the procedure and they put you to sleep and then you're big and you feel great and Sister is there with you and life in the hangar isn't so bad because Handler comes in regularly now to pilot you and you know how to make her feel so good.
