#meatball problems

It's not the pet name I expected from my husband and as such I thought he was talking to the cat, who was (bad bad) sitting on the counter. That is until he came up and laid his hand on my stomach.

"Whaaaat?"

Moses, sitting at the kitchen table, facepalms so hard he nearly slaps the shit out of himself. "Ohhhhh, Ted. What have you started?"

Eli looks at me, grimacing but does not move his hand. "I like meatballs, remember? And they're so cute and..."

"Round?"

"Technically? But you will be, soon. I'm just looking ahead, milyy."

It's impossible to be mad. He's never insulted me before and it doesn't seem like he's the type that would ever start. So, the only thing left to do is laugh.

Moses partially uncovers his face. "Hey Snooki, where's the beach?"

"WHERE'S THE BEACH?!" Eli squints. He has no idea what we're talking about. "Jersey Shore? Gym, tan, laundry? The Situation?"

"It's a movie? A book? A podcast, what?"

It's unacceptable to me and Moses that he's never seen Jersey Shore so we force him into the living room and make him watch it. After a couple of episodes, he taps out.