#meanparents

I open up about the trauma. I confess how scared it made me every day to return home. I cry as I re-live the memories that I try so hard to suppress every day. You sigh a sigh of sympathy and say but it mad you strong it built your personality it made you as tough as you are today. 

I just nod and say I guess your right. 

However you will never understand that yes while I can deal with a lot due to the misfortune of my childhood I hate that this is true because I was a kid. I didn't deserve to learn so early to be tough to hide the bruises because if anyone found out and talk to my parents those bruises would worsen. I was a kid I didn't deserve to have to fight every day to be strong and not cry I deserved to be loved to feel safe in the walls of my own home. I deserved to wear summer clothes I the heat of summer and not long sleeves to hide the bruises. I shouldn't of had to say ever day of I am just clumsy and ran into a wall. But to the luck of my parents I could blame all the visible bruises on being blind in one eye and wearing a patch as therapy to re gain sight for all the bruises as I couldn't see where I was walking. 

but yess I am strong and yes I have an easy going personality and don't over react to small little mean comments because the trauma has taught me how to hide but you will never understand why I take a double look at the skinny under feed child because I see my self in that child and I die a little bit each time.