#meanders

I tend to use words without defining them a lot. This is because defining my terms makes me want to shrivel up and die most of the time. Writing definitions is as much a losing proposition for me as writing introductions in discord servers. It's like, you mean I have to tell you EVERYTHING about myself or a given topic in only a few words/sentences?

But I'm going to do it anyway because life has taught me that if I don't define my terms, they get misused, and this term is important enough to me that I'd really like for it to not be misused if at all possible.

meander

noun | me·​an·​der

1 : a winding path or course

… the new path, which he supposed only to make a few meanders … — Samuel Johnson

2 : a turn or winding of a stream

The meander eventually became isolated from the main stream.

3 : any of an expansive category of activities, relational dynamics, or narrative tropes in which the full personhood of all participants is experienced erotically, but not sexually

Alice and Bob enjoy a variety of meanders, some of which overlap with conventional kink activities and some of which do not.

The great thing about meanders is that literally anything can be one. Something like nonsexual artistic bondage, which obviously overlaps with and can be considered a conventional kink, can be a meander for those who want it to be one. But so can something like making dinner together, learning ballroom dance, playing co-op video games, or simply holding each other while watching a movie.

Disclaimer: This is an opt-in term. If you don't feel like you need this language, you don't have to use it. If you do feel like you need or want this language, welcome to the club. I made this term because I'm a sex repulsed trauma survivor who does not fit into conventional kink spaces and generally does not vibe with the attitudes they espouse.

Fig. 117. Old channels of the Mississippi. The earth. 1877.

I’ve been having fun with some map making recently; I’ve always liked a good meandering river, especially since spending time in Louisiana last semester for fieldwork.