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Koala Cookies [Batfam x Reader]

Summary: Someone ate batsis’ beloved cookies, but who’s to blame? Kind of a crack fic.

Code:

F/IC = favourite ice cream

Y/N = your name

Y/L/N = your last name

The weather outside the manor was searing compared to most parts of the manor so you took it upon yourself to take a trek to the kitchen in order to prepare yourself a much-deserved ice cream sundae after your training session in the gym. You had been waiting for Alfred to stock up on some ice cream for over a week and now that he had returned with all the necessities, you were ready.

Humming to yourself, you walked past the boys in the family room hearing them bicker about which channel to leave on, knowing full well they would be settling for the latest episode of this new crime show you had all been watching lately. If only someone would just remind them…

You arrived at your destination, grabbing all your essentials, a bowl, an ice cream scoop and a small spoon. You popped open the freezer to pull out your tub of (F/IC) ice cream while mumbling a ‘thank you, Alfred’. With everything set, you decided to grab the final ingredient, the secret koala cookies that you hid on the top shelf, tucked sneakily behind cans of soup for emergencies far away from your hungry brothers.

Grabbing a chair, you climbed onto the counter and peeked into the cupboard but to your disliking, your cookies weren’t there. You pushed aside all the cans and you furrowed your eyebrows.

“Where are they?” You whispered more to yourself as you climbed down to check the other cupboard.

I couldn’t have possibly misplaced my own cookies could I?

“Could I ask what you are looking for Ms. (Y/L/N)?” Alfred inquired as he walked in amidst your furious stomping around in the kitchen.

“My cookies are gone” you huffed to him as you re-checked every possible nook and cranny there was in this kitchen. You were the queen and main inhabitant of this place beside Alfred and he knew better than to go stealing your favourite snack.

“Ah, the koala march one with the strawberry filling?” Alfred calmly asks as you let out a heavy breath.

“Exactly those ones,” you muttered as you stared angrily at your new tub of ice cream, the frost from the sides were melting onto the counter, taunting you to find your cookies before the ice cream itself started to melt too.

“I think your-”

Unable to finish his thought, you were quick to stomp out of the kitchen marching towards the living room where the bickering over the channel was still happening. To make your presence known, you snatched the remote from Dick’s hand and moved to stand directly in their line of vision of the television.

The boys all let out a chorus of retort, pausing their fight to give you their attention, “Which one of you idiots ate my cookies?”

They all looked at one another before Dick rubbed the back of his neck. “I’m sorry, I didn-”

“Shut it, Dick, I know it wasn’t you,” you glared at the oldest, knowing Dick never liked the strawberry flavoured ones and Tim had respect so he would have asked you beforehand.

“It was either Jason or Damian.”

Damian gasped, “Why would it be me?! I dislike storebought cookies!”

“WELL HOW AM I SUPPOSE TO KNOW YOU LITTLE SNEAK? YOU’VE BEEN HAVING MAD CRAVINGS SINCE YOUR BIRTHDAY! YOU OF ALL PEOPLE WOULD BE THE LEAST TO ASK FOR PERMISSION BEFORE DOING SOMETHING!” You argued as your hands came to sit at your hips.

“IT WASN’T ME! Todd hasn’t even said a word, it was probably him,” Damian pointed and Jason’s face contorted into disbelief.

“Don’t point your little demon fingers at me. I didn’t eat any strawberry koala cookies.” Jason stated as he glared at Damian, the tension started rising between the two of them. “How did you know it was strawberry flavoured then?” You asked as you squinted at her older brother. “I didn’t tell you what flavour it was.”

“BECAUSE YOU ONLY EAT THE STRAWBERRY ONES, WHAT DO YOU MEAN HOW DO I KNOW? YOU’RE MY SISTER FOR CRYING OUT LOUD!” Jason shouted as Dick stood up.

“Look, whoever ate it just fess up and buy (Y/N) another box. Simple.”

Nobody said anything.

Alfred was watching from the doorway as Bruce joined his side, looking into the hostile room. It was rare to see one of his daughters mad, especially from you.

“It appears somebody ate Miss. (Y/L/N) last packet of koala cookies that she has been saving,” Alfred eyed his master. “You wouldn’t happen to know anything about it would you?”

Bruce thought back to the time he had snuck into the kitchen during a late night in the cave for a snack. He was hoping for soup but his hands grazed a tiny packet. Pulling it down, he realized it was one of your beloved koala snacks, but without much thought, he took it under his arm and headed back to his work.

At this point, you were on the brink of attacking one of your brothers as the argument over your cookies still took place.

“Nope, no clue,” Bruce replied with his usual stoic expression, fingers fishing out his wallet from his pant pocket. He pulled out a couple notes, handing them over to the butler. “If you would be so kind as to pick some up and replace them before they destroy the family room, please?”

Alfred took the money with a quaint nod before disappearing down the hall.

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