Jul 15
my brother dragged me into watching the second tom holland spider-man movie and genuinely what the fuck was that
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my brother dragged me into watching the second tom holland spider-man movie and genuinely what the fuck was that
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The MCU:
Remember Cynthia Glass, the infamous love interest of Steve Rogers who wound up being a Nazi spy? Yeah we renamed her Peggy Carter (because our Peggy Carter has nothing in common with her comics counterpart besides her name) and she's meant to be a good guy now
Remember Gilmore Hodge, the notorious bigot candidate for Project Rebirth who wound up being a Nazi spy? Yeah he's just a regular asshole now
Remember Helmut Zemo, the notorious son of Nazi Heinrich Zemo who tried to murder Steve Rogers and Bucky Barnes and was also a Nazi in his own right? Yeah he's just a morally grey antagonist now
Also the MCU:
Remember Jasper Sitwell, the loyal SHIELD agent who was one of Natasha Romanov's longest friends in SHIELD and one of Bucky Barnes's only friends in the modern world? Yeah he's Hydra now
Remember Alexander Pierce, the loyal SHIELD agent who was very anti-Hydra? Yeah he's in charge of Hydra now
I know I've bitched on here before about how just execrably bad avengers: infinity war was and how it completely killed my interest in the MCU to the point that I had no plans to see endgame and wouldn't have if my boyfriend hadn't given me the puppy dog eyes about watching it with him. and endgame WAS better than infinity war but only because it's impossible for a movie to be worse than infinity war because infinity war is the fucking worst movie ever made. at least manos: the hands of fate was a passion project for somebody
but my boyfriend likes to put bad movies on to fall asleep and he put infinity war on so I saw part of it again, and it has reminded me that although the entire movie was extremely bad and stupid, the thing that actually made me incandesce with rage and still enrages me is that everybody didn't disintegrate at the same time from the finger snap. the entire point of a FINGER SNAP is that the results are INSTANTANEOUS. what the FUCK is the rationale behind nick fury not disintegrating until like fifteen minutes after everyone else. everybody was weeping over that fucking "oh mister stark I don't feel so good" scene and I was like WHY THE FUCK IS EVERYONE DYING IN ORDER OF DRAMATICNESS
Absolutely love that in Loki season 2 they blatantly make fun of Norse culture and say that the wooden Norse Odin, Baldr and Thor statue carvings are "dramatizations" and "highly insulting" and "glorified dioramas"
Real nice Disney real fucking nice/s /neg
With Captain Marvel being one of the MCU’s most pushed characters for several years now, why do you think they have yet to introduce Noh-Varr and Moonstone?
Because MCU Wave 582 or whatever is made entirely by people who don't read and have no passion for comics, and thus no impulse to uplift niche faves not selected to be mentioned by some sort of corporate popularity analysis hotbox? Idk man.
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I have discovered Peter Parker in Gotham fanfics (subcategory: Dick is his bio father) and I love them
But FUCK do I hate MCU Peter and they’re all at least some degree of MCU Peter!
Why does he need to make vibranium for his suit???!!! It makes me want to tear my hair out!!!
(It’s not that serious but it does pet my peeve)
reposting my old twitter thread regarding venom (2018), which a friend once said should be printed on the back of the dvd case. screenshots aren't working but they'd be redundant with the image ID anyway. if you want the 🌟Full Experience🌟 the original thread is [here].
[1/10] ok i just watched the venom movie for the first time and yall? let me level with you. real talk. full frontal honest hot take.
shit was amazing.
[2/10] like you know that whole shit with video games where people just get so into it and the completionism and the competitive scene and the graphics and whatever and youre like yeah ok but is it like. fun
thats me with venom vs mcu
[3/10] like goddamn. i had fun. i loved it. i saw it and it was an enjoyable experience for me and i liked watching it.
with mcu im all no i get that this is an installment of a series that has a greater overarching plot and shit but like.... am i gonna enjoy it? at all?
[4/10] me looking at mcu movies like am i gonna feel an echo of an iota of entertainment anywhere in my being at any point during this movie or nah?? and most of the time its a solid nah!!! but tom hardy just showed me a good goddamn time!!!!!
[5/10] like man. you talk about disaster characters? i thought i had seen disaster characters. eddie turbofucks his life into the ground with great prejudice. he makes dysfunction an art form. he hits rock bottom and pulls out a jackhammer and thats BEFORE the alien
[6/10] like i spent the front half of the movie going dude. who even allowed this dude to be a protag of anything. who said yep lets make this guy the main character, that seems acceptable
and then around the climax i realized that they HAD to for the plot to work
[7/10] like just imagine how shit wouldve gone were eddie not an eighteen wheeler fucktruck tire fire. if the man were capable of catching a whiff of a phantom of the dessicated corpse of his own common sense none of this would have worked
[8/10] like any human being who is even .0005% more functional than eddie (i.e. anyone on the planet) would not have responded like 'hey actually? i LIKE having this cannibal monster alien controlling my body. i think this is GOOD. im gonna KEEP IT.' like eddie what in the whole fuck.
[9/10] this guy is not even there!!! the whole time!!! nothing behind this dude's eyes. he started dissociating shortly before meeting the scientist lady and he just never fuckin stopped. the lights are all off upstairs. this dude is checked out and he is NEVER coming back.
[10/10] final point the dialogue was just fucking phenomenal start to finish. just absolutely batshit nuts what was coming out of everybody's mouths. and the delivery was stellar, like the wack shit they were saying was completely normal and fine. i'd like to shake that writer's hand
BONUS:
[ID: a graphic that reads, in all caps: "disclaimer: black panther and thor 3: ragnarok are exempt from this statement" and in lowercase: "(captain america 2: the winter soldier you're on thin fucking ice)". end ID]
It's MCU so the bar is... Down there but I'm still afraid they're going to give Mantis this big role in the special and continue to underplay/ignore her abilities and keep her as "weird bug ditz"