#mcu commentary

In how she used her job at the Bulletin and a potential story about respiratory illness as an excuse to continue poking around Midland Circle (between this and her overall behavior and demeanor, of course Ellison noticed something had broken in her life and that’s why he agreed to set her up). (x x)

In how she collected Matt’s mail and paid his rent and bills for months, and when she fell behind, asked Foggy to convince the landlord to give her an extension (after first lying to him that she’d talked to the landlord about letting the apt go and asking him to help move out boxes). But what really gets me is: 

“I’m just paying the bills—or, some of them—until Matt gets back.”

Just the casual matter-of-fact-ness—Obviously he’ll be back soon, I’m just holding his life in place in the meantime. Then there’s her other little ritual of opening the chest where Matt keeps his Daredevil suit, just on the off-chance possibility that maybe it’ll be in there this time.🤞🏻 (x)

Which leads into, the flashback scene of Matt and Karen after “I’m Daredevil” is Karen’s memory, being triggered by her presence in that space. That’s how it’s positioned within the narrative context of the episode. Like, talk about rent-free (no pun intended). 

And in all of this, Karen was alone. Because Foggy, one of the only other people who knew the actual circumstances of what happened at Midland Circle and the only one in her life and who also loved Matt, accepted Matt’s “death” at face value. And from every time Karen talked to him about it, it’s clear he saw her as merely in the denial and bargaining stages of grief, then as refusing to move past denial and bargaining—at first humoring her a little, then getting more exasperated. (x)

F: “Maybe,” he indulges her a bit at the end (TD 1x08)

F: “As much as it hurts me to say this, you're a reporter. Look at the facts. A building fell on Matt. A big one. And nobody's heard from him since. Matt’s dead. … I don't want to accept it, either.” [but he did] [...] K: “You're right, okay. Everything you're saying is making sense. I just… I know it's irrational…but ” (3x01)

Then Karen received a very serendipitous story assignment (that she didn’t even want to do at first)...

x: “We only got away because the other guy attacked him.” K: “What other guy? You said there's another guy?” x: “Yeah, he came out of nowhere. He had this black mask over his face.” K: *takes the deepest of breaths*

…and immediately went to tell Foggy:

K: 😃 “I think Matt's alive.” F: “So the guy in the mask, he wasn't in a…you know…devil suit?” K: “No, but he was wearing a black mask, Foggy.” F: “So, it could be anybody.” K: “It could also not be anybody.” F: “Hell’s Kitchen is ground zero for vigilantes these days. Believe me, I want it to be Matt, too. But he’s…gone.” K: “No, no.” F: “We need to get past that.” K: “There is no proof of that. And until there is–” F: “You know how I know he's gone? Because if it was Matt, if he was really still alive, he would’ve reached out to us.” [😕 sweet summer Foggy…] K: “You know how I know you don't really believe that? You keep saying ‘gone’ instead of ‘dead.’ Now, don't you want to take a minute and just be absolutely sure that that's not your best friend out there somewhere?” F: “I wish it was my best friend. But it's not. He's dead.” K: 😠 *storms tf out* (3x02)

She was going so hard to bat for that man. All by herself. But she knew. Because she felt. 🎶all along there was some invisible string tying you to me…🎶 And she trusted that feeling, and no one, no logic, no anything could convince her otherwise. (x)

Later, the show even visualized her *feeling*, this spiritual, soul-deep, metaphysical connection—beyond even knowing that Matt was still alive. (x)

Overall, one of my favorite things about this arc is that Karen’s unwavering determination to hold onto her belief and to find Matt had nothing to do with anything else. There was no ulterior underlying anything. It wasn’t connected to or partly motivated by any previous trauma, behavioral pattern, or loss. She was driven purely by her love for Matt, by the exuding pain and hole of his absence—

“...coming into 'Daredevil' season three, it really feels like there are no connections, there’s no one to turn to or to call home. I think that’s why in the beginning, there’s this denial about whether Matt is dead or not, when everyone else is sort of accepting it. I can’t, because if he’s gone, then I’m really losing every thread that keeps me tethered to this world.” (DAW)

—and by her unending belief and sense that their souls were indeed still on the same plane of existence. It was probably the closest she’d ever personally experienced to spiritual faith. (x)

Hence why, despite not being Catholic or religious, the first thing she’s shown doing after Matt’s disappearance is visiting Church—rockin' her messy depression braid, crying her eyes out, and lighting a candle for him. In homage to Matt’s faith. As her own private memorial. And first connecting with, then voicing, her own faith that Matt wasn’t truly gone.