#mcrau

I walk hastily down the wet pavement as the rain pours down on my greasy black hair. I can feel my clothes growing increasingly wet. This is the worst. My head is pounding and I can barely see my surroundings due to my overgrown hair, I really need to cut it soon. I can’t believe I do this to myself. Now I’m piss drunk and I’m definitely gonna pay for it In the morning. I'm a depressed asshole with no control. As I walk up to my college apartment building, trying to focus on where my feet are being planted going up these steps. I reel my head back in agony, realizing it's gonna be a pain in the ass to climb up the seemingly endless flights of stairs. “I’m never getting fucked up at the bar again at this rate, not to mention I have school tomorrow. Great. . .” I mumble to myself as I trudge up the stairs to my dorm room.

I walk up to my room's front door and rummage through my sweater pocket, the sweater is nearly falling off my shoulder completely but I couldn’t care less at the moment. I fumble my keys as I attempt to unlock the front door. A dark figure nudges moving behind me, I glance over out of curiosity and see the backside of a guy who looks kinda short for his assumed age. I mean I hope he isn’t some kid or anything I think to myself, as the assumed “he” is knocking on my neighbors dorm room I realize I’ve been staring for too long so I open up my own door and head inside. I close and lock it behind me and I sigh heavily as all my tired bones catch up to me. I trudge further to the closest spot to lay down. I flop dramatically on my old leather couch that squeaks softly from my movements. My eyelids grow heavy as I soon fall asleep there.

the sunlight hits my eyes through my eyelids as I groan awake. The familiar feeling of my head being used as a bass drum makes my wake even more unforgiving. I move my sweaty body to an upright position and the strain in my back from sleeping in such an uncomfortable position feels like a slap in the face. I try to remember what time it was I came back home last night but effortlessly give up and decide to try and stand up anyway. The clock on the wall tells me I have to be at my first class in the next hour or so. The thought of having to pay attention to a lecture this morning haunts me.

Now walking to my cabinet and fix myself a glass of water, knowing I'll be asking for it later so I might as well get it over with now. being more awake I remember that I'm wearing last night's clothes and I probably reek of yesterday. forcing myself to walk down the hall to my bedroom and my eye catches my pack of cigarettes on the desk near the closet. I try to ignore it for now and open my eyes wider to better examine the clothes I should change into. Afterwards Im clean up my dirty clothes that I just stripped from my body and throw them in a designated pile on my floor. ‘should get that thrown in the washing machine soon. I change out the contents of my pockets from my pants and jacket to my current slouchy skinny jeans and torn denim jacket. In hand now my lighter I remember the taste of nicotine and reach for my pack on the desk. shoving both in my pocket deciding its best not to smoke in the building.

I turn towards my bathroom so I can freshen up. definitely don’t have enough time to shower so I do the basic things first for now. Brushing my teeth; albeit quicker than I probably should have, deciding that should be good enough for society to handle, running my hands through my hair and staring at my mirror reflection just to make sure I got everything right. Just as I thought about leaving for school I turned around back to my kitchen almost forgetting my antidepressants. shoveling them down my throat begrudgingly and grab my phone from the counter and my school bag. It hangs across my body and lands at my hip, the patches sewn onto it scratches on my pants and i'm walking towards my front door to exit the open hallways of the apartments. Just before I open my front door I realize it's the middle of October and usually cold as shit. Quickly i'm pulling out my cell phone from my back pocket to check the weather. “Shit. Perfect” its 40 degrees outside and i'm a sucker for any opportunity to wear a scarf, I pick one out from my hat tree that’s basically just full of a bunch of scarfs. Now finally ready to step outside.