man, i don't know what's gotten into me but i can't stop thinking about how compelling it would be for javadi to have an unrequited crush on mckay. like, i really envision Victoria as someone who is only out to herself and in some online circles, but perhaps not necessarily her tiktok where she clearly has a major following. for millennials and gen-z, i think there's something to be said about the strange experience of being out only through virtual spaces, of posting and talking about queerness in a way that is life-affirming, but not lived. victoria as someone who's never dated another woman, who perhaps has never even kissed another girl, but knows she's at the very least bisexual.
I think Victoria having a crush on Cassie would be so interesting if only because Cassie is so compassionate, so at ease, so unlike what Victoria sees elsewhere with her attending, her mother, or even her peers. more than that, Cassie believes in her and guides her, advocates for her to make her own way and resist her mother and sure, yes, she doesn't get it -- Cassie's white, she doesn't get the cultural pressures Victoria has on her shoulders and how the staunch individualism and rebelliousness Cassie might advocate for just doesn't translate to Victoria's familial experience. But Cassie is brilliant, and confident, and comfortable in her own skin; she came to medicine off the beaten path and chose it later in life (which couldn't be more different for Victoria who's on the opposite side of the age spectrum) and she seems so sure of what she wants and Victoria feels like she's drowning, comparatively, in her own sense of listlessness.
Victoria having a crush on Cassie and not knowing where the line of "I want to be her" and "I want to be with her" begins and ends. Victoria having a crush on her and knowing Cassie doesn't even seem to consider her an option. Victoria feeling really complicated about the fact that Cassie is a mom and feeling the sting of having a complex with her own mother and the stereotypes that come with that. Victoria hearing Cassie complain about not getting laid and feeling like she's going to go crazy. it's compelling!!!
