#mcguire programme

International Stammering Awareness Day: Story of Pravin

There isn’t any definite reason, why I’m like this? This fear engulfed me may be because of the expectations of others to be normal like others. Either people like me used as a caricature for fun or allowed to doubt on our existence. People are impatient and a city like Mumbai time is a game! I often hid in a closet of fear, shame and vulnerable to open up. Coming out was difficult! Pravin…

International Stammering Awareness Day: Story of Rishabh

The story Mr Rishabh Panchamia is covered as a part of International Stammering Awareness Day, 22 October 2016.  “Problems in life are like graudation, one need to pass it.”  Rishabh As my feet runs holding breathe to see the movie from the beginning including titles. Siren of school didn’t attract me in the same way. Why they didn’t run? One problem can halt the life or its thinking of the…

People often mocked at this inability by trying to repeat my incomplete word or sentence or an alphabet of a word. With growth this looked insult, this eventually led to skip first day (freshers day) at school or college or events that needed interaction. This situation was more challenging while using public transport, conductors who didn’t understand the situation often were impulsive while handing out a ticket. I don’t blame them because of their stress of handling hundreds of commuters. But I often looked for empathy from others.

Several situations have led my mother into sadness. Her self motivated dose often fell flat on sharp words from relatives. They often termed me as a ‘handicap’. I don’t think any mother would bear the pain of hearing that she bore an ‘imperfect child’. I often vented out the anger in bathroom through a running water to hinder the real pain. I spent several minutes trying to explain myself that there would be silver lining in my life. At few times a force that often pushed me towards to end life, suicide!

I thought may be new environment, South America would help to begin a new life. But the pattern of education that required to make presentation on regular basis shattered the dream much earlier than otherwise. I had to return ! After a gap of frustrating one year, I choose Mechanical Engineering. If someone had asked, why I choose that over the other branch of engineering? I choose to overcome the humiliation from a class that might have both genders. I had become sensitive, this led to making fewer friends. I did most to avoid any situations that demanded conversations. But how long could I avoid? During a class hour an English faculty, Prof. Rajeshwari not being aware of the situation asked me to introduce but I couldn’t get through my name. Tears trickled down my cheeks in frustration!

One day Dr Tamilselvam, Head of Dept of Mechanical Engineering happen to mention, ‘I’m low on energy’. He identified my challenge, his warm words was the first pillar to build confidence. This gave rise to urge to search that could solve the stuttering. With support and faith in believing its curable from my mother, Mrs. Bharathi who became my second pillar. This search got us introduced to McGuire Programme that provided with several videos and promised to deliver best possible result in four days. But a thought that ran across was, how can over eighteen year old problem could be solved in four days? A small push from mother gave hope and rise to the third pillar, Mr Kaushik Valluri, Director of the programme. He did the right thing of calling us and adding confidence to the searching soul. I still remember his words, ‘I shall overcome the problem.’

This took me to attend the first four days programme out of which about two and half days was cut out that included TV, Phone, Internet, Peer contact. After this I was asked to make a first call to the person I desired. I choose my first pillar, Dr Tamilselvam. He was delighted on hearing me speak and able to get through few words and sentence with little struggle than earlier. This followed a call to second pillar, my mother, the emotional moment still is afresh and often makes my eyes moist. This was perhaps the first time I couldn’t sleep. The joy was unbearable! On the last day, I dialled to Prof. Rajeshwari and requested her if I could say my name now, ‘My name is Yesvanth Darma Dev D‘. I’m sure the other side would be emotional moment like mine.

Fourth pillar are all the people that accepted me over the time! I take this opportunity to thank you all for being kind and supportive.

Meet my pillars –

Fourth Pillar

First Pillar

Second Pillar

Earlier I was last, but now I’m first!

(The article is written by Santosh Avvannavar)

So every one hundred posts, I throw in a little something about me. I do throw in some between the cracks but every milestone is given special weighting to mark the occasion. So if you don't want to read personal stuff and have no interest, that's fine you can skim right past this, in fact I will put a cut line to save you time. Post 400, goes now:

So as many of you know and many more don't know, speech has always been the one aspect of my life that terrified me. The one part of my life that I could never understand or control. A huge mystery and an even bigger weight on my shoulders.

I always knew I was a little different. The way I think about things, the way I react to other things and the means by which I pursue certain things, all different. But there's something a little more different about me. I suffer from a stammer.

Stammering, or stuttering as it's called in the US, is a speech impediment. Brought to fame recently by the Oscar Award-winning film 'The King's Speech', starring Colin Firth, stammering has benefited from a vast array of press and awareness this year. But it is certainly not something new or hidden and I, for one, have always had to deal with it.

I have stammered as long as I can remember. For some people there are significant milestones which may make a stammer worse, a death in the family, a harrowing event. But for others, it's just a fact of life. And that was true of myself. It's always been there. Sometimes it got worse, sometimes it was manageable. But always there. School was a nightmare, naturally. Primary was not too bad, as kids you are far less self-conscious and I was pretty vocal about my speech and others were very receptive.

In secondary school, it got progressively worse every single year. The thought of speaking in front of class was crippling. Reading out something that is right in front of you and all you have to do is say it was terrifying. The simplest things like introducing myself, recounting my phone number, making phone calls and asking questions became my most feared and oppressive situations. Which, for most, are the most basic and mandatory circumstances we go through in life.

For stammerers, we have feared words, sounds and situations. Sounds for me, constantly change. For a while it was 'S' sounds, usually a hard 'P' sound was extra hard because that's the first letter of my name and more recently, 'W' sounds were causing a little anxiety. Words were the same. Sometimes I could say 'em, other times it was impossible. My course was always quite hard to say. Journalism. As was my housing area, Waterunder. Situations, however, were always the same. High-pressure, anxious situations like speaking in school and making and receiving calls were so frightening that I often avoided the latter completely. No one can explain why these things inhibit a stammerer's speech, but they do.

I've been through therapies now and then in my teen years. Once, while in 4th year of secondary I went on a bout of speech therapy which was a short-term fix, but without putting in the hard work and without the confidence, self-acceptance and the drive to see results, it completely went back to square one. When University came, the problems worsened until eventually I couldn't even stand up in front of my class and read out my work or make a presentation. After a bad break-up, some awful feared situations creeping up on me in school and work and a period of seriously low confidence, I was at my rock bottom. Hating life, avoiding living. There was a serious amount of time where I constantly asked 'Why am I even alive, why am I bothering? If I cannot speak or communicate how I feel and trying to do so causes me such grief, well that's not a life worth living'.

To every problem, there is a solution. And mine was finding The McGuire Programme. This phenomenal course changed my life. A whole new way of breathing, self-accepting and controlling your stammer has made my life a much happier place. The course is intensive and feels like a rehab without contact with the outside world, family, friends, constant supervision but let me tell you it works and I don't think it would work any other way. It's hard work and it's paying off. I'm so glad I discovered it.

I completed my first course in February 2011 in Belfast. By the end of the week I approached 101 people on the street, made a speech in front of busy Belfast city and made another closing speech to the entire course and visiting families. My refresher (Second) course was at the beginning of May in Cork City. I plan to do 3 more courses this year (Galway, Bournemouth and Dublin). My life is an amazingly happier place now that i've been granted control back and to say whatever I want to say.