#mcdceamy

“Just when we think we figured things out, the universe throws us a curve ball. So, we have to improvise. We find happiness in unexpected places. We find ourselves back to the things that matter the most. The universe is funny that way. Sometimes it just has a way of making sure we wind up exactly where we belong.” 

You know I... I went to the bar.

I heard... Oh. You’re staying with her.

Yea, she’s my wife.

     HEART BEATING FAST, Meredith stood a few feet away from the front doors, staring up at the Seattle Grace Mercy West sign. Cristina had told her about the new name a while back, when they had to merge both hospitals. It felt extremely strange being back there. In Seattle. At the hospital. Meredith had not set foot in Seattle in over five years. To be standing in that very spot was very uncomfortable, stressful, overwhelming. It stirred up a lot inside and she had no idea how she even got from the car to this spot. However, a young and soft hand was quick enough to pull her from her thoughts. “Mommy? Are you ok?

Hey!

Hey.

Lot of secret phone calls today.

Yea, it’s my mother. She isn’t travelling. She isn’t writing a book. She isn’t anything, I’ve been lying to everyone.

Why?

She has Alzheimer’s.

How advanced?

Very. She’s in a home, and I’m the only one who even knows she’s sick. I just don’t know what to do anymore, you know?

     SHE FELT LIGHTER. It felt like the dark and heavy secret she had been carrying around for too many years already was no longer weighting as heavy on her shoulders anymore. Part of her felt like she had betrayed her mother’s privacy, but then telling Derek made it ok somehow. She knew she could trust him. She knew he would not run around the hospital and spread the information, making it the new gossip topic of the hour. She trusted him. And more than that, she felt safe with him. And that was huge. In the books of Meredith Grey, feeling safe with anyone was uncommon. She never had anyone she could count on completely and trusted wholeheartedly before. But Derek, she did. 

     People did not know of the nature of her relationship with her mother, and she was not ready to talk about it with anyone, not even Derek. It was far too complicated and messy. But for him to know that her mother had been sick and that she had been visiting her every week in her nursing home, sharing that part of her life with him, she did not feel so alone. There was no shame in what she was going through with her mother, and in what her mother was going through, but then there was because her mother’s image was all she cared about. Her strong character, being in possession of her faculties, being the best, that was all her mother ever cared about, and she had been robbed of that these past five years. And there was nothing Meredith could do about it except visit her and make sure that she was well taken care of and as happy as she could be, all the while being a shadow of herself. It was confronting, and heavy, and sharing the secret with Derek made it less heavy. 

     “Are you riding with us?” Meredith snapped out of her thoughts and glanced up to Izzie standing by her locker, staring back at her. “No,” she shook her head lightly. “Derek’s waiting for me downstairs,” she nodded, giving her a small smile. Izzie nodded her head and gulped as she smiled. “Ok,” she responded, and Meredith did not miss that smile. But she did not respond either, gathering her things from her locker. Derek had texted her to let her know he would be waiting for her in the grand hall for whenever she was finished. She headed with Izzie, George and Alex to ride the elevator with them, and all the while she could not stop thinking about what Richard had said. He’s an attending, you’re an intern. I’ve gotta tell you what your mother would say if she were here. You’re making a mistake. A big one. She smiled to herself as she recalled her response. And I would tell my mother it’s not a mistake. For the first time in her life, she felt like her life made sense. Like it was taking a positive turn, like things were settling. She could see herself building a life with Derek. And that was the scariest thing because she had never thought into the future like that, but she could see herself building a future with Derek. He was it. He was the one. She could feel it.