#mc rambles

You are going to have to re-evaluate every relationship in your life. The nasty realization will come that a lot of your "friends" are only around if you're all getting fucked up together. Some of the people you hold dearest don't like you when you're sober because you actually don't have very much in common. It's okay. It's okay to move on from that. That lonely period won't last for long and you can still keep them in your life, but you can't live like them anymore. You're going to be the person that you want to be and you're going to build the life that you want to live.

MC: Mustafa: went from "I can't stand his bland ass and fall asleep during his scenes" to "the writers accidentally created a pretty interesting character and my feelings about him are complicated". Mahidevran: went from "I love to hate her" to "yeah she's alright actually, still annoys me at times but I mostly like her now." Sah: went from "her and her elitism are so annoying" to "I really like her, fave dynasty sultana from the OG Show" (though tbh the only dynasty sultanas I like in MC are her and Esmahan).

MCK: S2 Kosem; went from having a love/hate relationship with her to "nah i love her and I can root for opposing characters actually" Safiye: went from "cool villain" to "damn she's kind of dumb when you think about it" Osman: went from "idk he's kind of annoying" to "he is one of the best characters actually and I love him" Murad IV: went from "omg when does he die" to "I am quite fascinated by this man and it's complicated actually". Farya: went from "she's annoying and her story is useless" to "I still think her storylines are very poorly written, but I like her and if she had her own show I'd probably stan". Kemankes: disliked him for no reason, and now I think he and Kösem were pretty cute. Cennet Kalfa: I hated her, but now I'm ambivalent. She's definitely the best-written harem servant.

There are some things that haven't changed since day 1, Nurbanu is always number 1, I always love Hürrem and Selim. Nurlim is the best ship. I can't bring myself to hate Rustem. I stan Nigar. I love Halime, Handan, Dilruba, Humasah and Fahriye. I hate Ahmet more than I hate Suleiman. I love Atike. My hyperfixation on Bayezid since that training scene in S2E1 where Murad brings him down to his knees is still going strong. Gulbahar is a lot of fun.

Literally thinking about ✨them✨ at all times.

Anyway, my husband is gone for four days on a business trip, and I was okay at first. I’m a teacher, I can handle my own kids just fine. But now it’s time for bed, and I have to turn off lights and manage in the morning in the dark by myself. Whenever he’s been late to bed before, I just can’t sleep. I stay up way too late, usually waiting up until he gets home. Even if we simply watch tv together, or do our own things, having him here gives me a huge inner peace.

So yeah, I’m trying not to freak out right now. I know I got this. I can handle the kids and going to work and all that stuff by myself. I mean, the last time he left, I had to take a kid to the emergency room alone!