#mayxtheodds

“Gorgeous girl, I love you. You can do this if you put your mind to it.” Her words made Kalli smile, leaning into the motherly touch as she tried to forget the bubble of worry that curled in her stomach. She wanted to cry, to break down and be swept away from this place but they both needed her to be strong.

“Promise me you’ll look after him.”

Kalli’s grandmother nodded, pressing a kiss to each cheek before laying her hand on Derek’s shoulder. Their time together coming to an end. Derek shrugged out from her grip, forcing Kalli to bend down to his level again. “I love you, little brother. I’ll only be gone for a little while, you won’t even miss me.”

“I already miss you,” his broken voice caused Kalli to choke down a sob. “What if you don’t come back?”

It was a thought she didn’t want to entertain, instead she kept silent. Busying herself with fixing his jacket and trying to memorise the way her brother looked right now. “It will be okay, Derek. I promise.”

“I love you Kalli, just…please don’t leave me.” He wrapped his arms around her once more, his voice small and muffled against her dress as she returned his hug. She needed this comfort but she knew he needed to go before she fell apart. Another gentle squeeze and Kalli motioned to her grandmother who took Derek’s hand in hers and pulled him from the room. Leaving her to try and stop the tears from flowing. If Anthony was going to bother showing up she needed to be strong. She needed to be perfect.

“We will be okay, little brother. You and I can get through today together okay? Once it’s all over we can go home and I’ll make us waffles for dinner…” It was her only way of appeasing him. Offering him something riddled with sugar. But it seemed to cheer him up as he straightened in her grip; Kalli gripped his hand in her face searching his gaze for the kid that wasn’t even afraid of going to the dentist.  Standing back up she took Derek’s hand in hers and walked him back to the sign in desk, watching as he stood steadfast beside her as both of their names were recorded. “I’ll come find you once it’s over.” Kalli assured him, another kiss pressed to his forehead as she went to join the other girls at the front of the stage. It was easy to blend in here but she couldn’t help but crane her head to the parents lining the courtyard. Looking for the man with dark glasses and unkempt hair. Anthony had promised and some foolish part of her still wanted her dad to hold her hand. But he was nowhere to be seen and she wondered if he had even remembered that his children were facing certain death today. Sighing she turned her attention to the Capitol escort who paced the stage, obviously she wasn’t a big fan on stragglers and she could feel the shuffling of people joining their age groups all around her. Finally an eerie sort of silence descended on the crowd, the dark headed woman stepping up to the microphone as the District held their breath. Everyone hoped today wasn’t the day they lost someone close to them but no one would know for certain until two pieces of paper were crushed beneath their feet.

The propaganda film rolled, but Kalli paid no attention. Searching the crowd for Derek tucked away in his area, she grinned at him as he caught her looking and gave her a watery smile. She wanted to tell him it was only a little while longer. That he’d be okay. But she couldn’t. Sighing she looked back to the stage as Vespasia crossed to the bowl, she took no time plucking out a piece of paper returning to the microphone with a click of her nails against it. She made opening the slip of paper a show but it was the name that fell from her lips that turned the pancake Kalli had forced down her throat into ash. Kalli Stark.

Her knees wobbled and she could hear Derek say something to her but Kalli couldn’t turn to her little brother. She couldn’t show him that this information had turned his brave sister into a frightened little girl all over again. Instead she scaled the steps, standing resolutely beside the escort as she tried not to fidget. She wanted to look into the crowd, seeking out her Grandmother or Anthony but she was afraid of what she might find.

Breakfast was as awkward as it always was on reaping days. The whole 'everything-will-probably-be-fine-but-there's-always-that-chance' forced conversation between the four of us. Trying not to talk about the only thing on everybody's minds, it wasn't easy. Tobin was too old this year, but he still hated the day. When he was 14, his name had been pulled from the bowl but someone had volunteered. Every year on this day he acted... differently. At least this year he was a weight off my parents minds. I'd been sitting at the table for about twenty minutes before the knock on the door finally came. For the last five years, I'd gone to the reaping with Erica. Call it young love, call it whatever you want - the real reason was because it meant I could escape the awkwardness of the breakfast table.

I smiled goodbye to my family and left quickly. I'd catch them later - I had bigger things to worry about today. My son or daughter might be heading into the arena, and that's not something I could allow to happen. I knew that I'd volunteer in a heartbeat if Erica's name was called, so that I could protect her. Of course, I hoped I wouldn't have to cross that bridge.

"So... did you tell them yet?" Erica asked, after we'd been walking a while. I knew what she was referring to.

"No. Not yet." I replied bluntly. I hadn't figured out how - and besides, I wanted her there too. "What about you?"

She shook her head, and I pulled her in close to me as we continued to walk. We would figure it out. Somehow. It wasn't long before the justice building came into sight, a huge District Seven banner hanging from its roof and a stage standing tall just in front.

My attention snapped back to the present, my eyes focusing once more on the stony ground. Breathe in, breathe out. Breathe in, breathe out. Whatever my chances were, reaping day was never a particularly comfortable experience. All too suddenly a voice brought my attention back to the stage.

"Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls! Uhh..." the strange looking man pulled a screwed up piece of paper from his pocket, un-crumpling it before taking a second to read it and pushing it away again. "Welcome to the Hunger Games!" 

I smirked. Our mentor seemed even more nervous than we were standing before him. It was his first year as mentor, and it showed. Despite his polished appearance - the long, sparkling blue coat, his shiny black boots, his platinum hair cemented into place - his hands were trembling and the lump in his throat was visible to all but the blind.

Distracted, I'd missed the girl tribute's name being called. I breathed a sigh of relief as I saw it wasn't Erica. This were going to be okay. For now. I clenched my jaw and swallowed as the shiny man, whose name I remembered to be Keisho, moved towards the other reaping bowl. His gloved hand dipped in and swirled around, eventually pulling out a slip of paper. He'd dropped it as he returned to the microphone, but picked it up quickly hoping nobody would notice. We all did.

"And your male tribute for this years Games...." he cleared his throat, but it did nothing to make him sound more confident. "Parker Redwood."

A thousand faces suddenly turned in my direction. A circle cleared around my feet, as I struggled to understand what had just happened. In the seconds before I was forced to move, I hoped and prayed that somebody would volunteer for me as they had for Tobin all those years ago, but nobody did. No voice was heard but mine, repeating the same word over and over and over. "No."

I was still saying it as I stepped up onto the stage, and was turned around to face the audience. The only face I was searching for I found buried in her hands, tears dropping to the ground. I wasn't paying attention as Keisho introduced me to the audience, and I didn't notice as he closed his little ceremony. All I noticed was the mother of my child, trying to cope with the devastation of the almost certain death of her boyfriend. I was walked off stage, my mind still away with Erica. I managed to compose myself until I was locked in a small room, but as soon as the door was closed, I sank to my knees and let the tears roll through the fingers cradling my face.

For what felt like hours I stayed like that, until I'd run out of tears. Run out of hope. I jumped as the door opened and the first of my goodbyes came in - my mother, father, and brother. Wordlessly, I sank into their arms. This wasn't supposed to happen. Not to me. Suddenly I missed the small talk from breakfast - at least there was something to say.

"I love you," the voice came from my brother. I looked up in surprise that the words had come from him. I smiled, and pulled him further into the embrace.

"I love you too. I love all of you." My words were muffled by my mother's shoulder, but theirs came out loud and clear.

"You're going to come back, Parks. You're going to come back." My father pulled away from the hug, my mother nodding behind him. "Just remember all you've done at the factory. Get a saw. Get an axe. Get whatever, you'll be okay. You'll be oka-" he tried to complete his sentence but a peacekeeper grabbed his shoulder and tried to pull him out. He shook it off, but followed instruction. "I promise."

They were pulled from the room, and the door shut behind them once more. Seconds later, it opened again and Erica stepped in. Immediately we ran towards one another, holding each other tight.

"I'll make it back. I have to, I'll make it back for you," I said slowly, firmly. I wanted her to believe my words, even if I didn't. Though my eyes were empty, her tears continued, soaking my shirt.

"I love you so much," she sobbed. "So, so much." I hugged her even tighter, assuring her that I felt the same, before she pulled away from me. "What if you don't com-" she began to speak, but I couldn't hear her say the words. I pulled her in for a kiss, stopping her mid-sentence.

Time slowed down as it always did when our lips collided. She was still crying, and I wanted to, but I made the most of what could be my last kiss with the girl I loved. All too soon, a peacekeeper pushed open the door and grabbed her by the shoulder, but she fought back. She screamed for me, and I said the only thing I could think.

"Erica, will you marry me?" I let the words fall out of my mouth quickly, dropping to my knee. I'd obviously taken the peacekeeper by surprise as he let up the struggle for a second, but quickly regained his sense of duty and dragged Erica from the room before she could answer.

The heavy wooden door fell shut at the same time as I fell to the floor. I might never know what her answer was going to be. My guts ached, every part of me wishing I'd wake up and find myself in bed at home, that this whole thing was a really vivid nightmare. But it didn't happen. I rolled onto my back, staring at the ceiling.

I had to see my family again.

I had to know Erica's answer.

This was her last year but the nightmare was only just beginning for Derek. He was just a boy in so many different ways. She’d done everything she could to protect him but the Reaping was something she couldn’t hide him from. His chances were slim, one piece of paper in thousands, but she would be a fool to not be terrified of the possibility that his name would be called. She’d never forgive her father if he missed today. If he was away playing with rocks when her brother was sent so far away that she’d never see him again. Kalli didn’t think she’d be able to survive it if Derek’s name was called but she needed to paint on a smile and pretend everything would be okay. For his sake as well as her own.

It was why as she lay awake in her bed she tossed and turned, hoping for a few more moments of sleep. Her throat closed, worry burning a hole in her gut as she finally through the blankets back and blinked into the darkness. The sky was still dark and a faint breeze blew through the window to cool her sweat slicked skin. There was no use trying to pretend she could hide from this day in bed, she needed to face it head on. Showering and dressing in the outfit her grandmother had picked for her, Kalli slipped down the hallway to check on Derek. His gangly arms were all over the place, his soft snoring reassuring her that the boy wasn’t nearly as terrified as she was. The kid could sleep through an earthquake.  Smiling down at his sleeping form she took her leave, wandering down to the kitchen to start breakfast. It was only a matter of time before her little brother followed his nose and joined her.   

She was busy stacking pancakes on a plate a little while later when the bottom stair creaked, spinning she spotted Derek fiddling with the cuffs of his shirt. They were too long for him and he seemed almost sad that he didn’t look perfect. Turning away from the stove she crossed to him, rolling up his sleeves until they were pushed up to his elbows. She didn’t care that their father would think he looked unpresentable. She just wanted her little brother not to worry. “Kalli? You’re pancakes are burning…”

The acrid smell of burnt food hit her nostrils, scrunching her nose up she kissed Derek on the cheek before dumping the contents of the frying pan in the sink. She’d cooked enough for the two of them without the charred remains of flour and eggs that coated the pan. She wanted to sit with Derek and bask in the peaceful time they had left before all hell broke loose. Pilfering a pancake from his plate she sat beside him, Derek pouring syrup all over the contents of his plate as she shook her head.  Kalli wondered if she should have just poured him a glass of sugar and been done with it. But he seemed happy as he practically devoured the plate in front of her and it made her feel needed to do this for him. She picked at her own portion, chewing as she tried to think about the calories and sugar that was going into her body. It made her want to push the plate away and just concentrate on the cold cup of coffee she’d made hours ago but she needed something in her stomach to get through the day.